Getting by Without someone??

Not having a significant other used to bother me. However, what bothers me even more is that I lived at home with my mom 30 out of 31 years of my life and eventually (hopefully this year) I want my own space! I don't want to put anyone in my mom's place!

Besides, I just been hired as a police officer of a large urban police force and I have other things to worry about like making it through the academy, my probationary period, and just succeeding in my new career. Also, police work is hard on marriages and families. It involves long, irregular hours not to mention its hazzardous.

But should I remain single the rest of my life, I also have alot of other things I want to do like travel around Europe, hang out with the guys whenever I can, study a martial art like Krav Maga, and indulge in my hobbies.

I also have to keep in mind though that it may not be God's plan for me to remain single, or to remain a cop for 25 years, or 5 years, or even six months. It may not be his plan for me to study Krav Maga or visit Europe. I have to learn to be flexible to anything and anyone he puts in my way.

Honestly, I'm not. I don't have a boyfriend or husband, but I'm not alone. I don't have to get by without anyone - I have plenty of someones. Just not a boyfriend of husband.

KeilCoppes said:

Don't give up - there are others out there who know .exactly. how you feel, and at the very least you're not totally alone and the only one in the whole wide vast universe. It's not day by day by day that goes down to dusky death - it's another day in a world that God has crafted in every detail. Not the song, but don't stop believing! Walk. Step by step, hour by hour, night by night, day by day.

Click to expand...

I do not give up for long. I might get mad or stupid or both.... but I can not deny how very much I love God and how very grateful I am for His love for me. I live, I breathe, because of Christ's sacrifice and love for me. That is a love I can not live without. Human love fails... God's never will. Even when I "give up" for the moment.. get mad and /or get stupid... God amazes me with His love.
Cindy

It's like this: I DO want someone to marry in my life.......but ONLY if it is the RIGHT PERSON and the RIGHT TIME for him and for me. I would rather be alone and free all of my life than to be married and in bondage to the WRONG person. I've had friends that have experienced this. It isn't fun. So, for now, I'm still waiting on Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

right on Crydun!


I wasn't really one that wanted to get married because I couldn't stand the thought of being alone, though I know some people are like that and I have a hard time understanding that. As for driving down the highway and the car breaking down or something like that - that could happen even if you're married. If you fall and break your leg in your own house, you can be married but your spouse could be gone off somewhere on an errand or an overnight trip - all sorts of things; I think the lone part is not the problem but the loneliness a person can feel. And you can feel lonely in a room full of people.



Good luck in your police work Praetor, that's a hard line of work to do and that's admirable - police and firefighters have a tough job!

I personally believe in courtship so I have never really ever dated anyone (by choice might I add) for a long time my life was just waiting and being miserable in the wait...asking God all the time "when will I meet him?" For 2yrs I was part of an intense discipleship school, where every issue of your character was worked on. I started to notice the more and more secure I became with myself and where God has me the less and less I wanted to be married. As of now I actually want to wait to be married. I am having to much fun being single. My money and time dont go to diapers, and baby clothes. Not to mention I dont have someone I have to care for, I mean I do but its not mandatory...as it would be in marriage. I also can just pick up and go... if God has something for me that requires me to up and leave the country I can do that...when you have a husband and babies its not so easy. I am not of course agianst marriage by any means I just need to work on some stuff first and have some of my destiny God wants me to fulfill single.
How do I get through the singleness was the question you asked... I dont feel single. Until God has a man in the flesh for me to marry i am married to Him. In those times of lonliness I am reminded of this, and that to me is an incredible thing. I encourage you to not dwell on the fact that your single but live the advneture of beng single. You can do anything you want whenever you want it...which means you are totally 100% available for God to send you wherever He needs to...thats incredible! Dont waste it, on wishing you were married.

I don't want to just "get by"....I want the abundant life that Jesus died to give me. Sometimes we don't dream big enough, I don't think....anyway...

I try to stay busy helping others. I sing in the church choir, I serve on a church committee, I am an adult literacy tutor, I help with the church's singles group...it seems like I'm always busy enough.

I'm not the type to get lonely very often...I guess even from childhood I was alone a lot, so I'm just used to it. That probably helps me a lot too.

I think in all honesty, its just a huge encouragement to see how far I've come within the last year alone without being in a relationship. Like everyone else said, its NOT about "just getting by." What good does that do when its "just good enough..."? More than anything, I've grown so much in the last year through my singleness and its just really awesome to see how far I've come. On a personal level, I've come to realize my worth apart from someone else. I've also been able to prove to myself that I can do things for myself.

I know that if I had started college while in a relationship, as "less lonely" as it may have been, I would have never started finding myself apart from being "so and so's lady" and moreover what truly made my eye sparkle within a relationship. I'm just now growing into the lady that I've always searched for and even more, into the lady that God has always desired for me to be. I've not perfected that part, but just knowing that this is my moment is more than enough to "just get by."

~Katty~

Getting by? Living life or surviving? Ive read so many articles of you dear folks ..who are suffering ..because you have no special sould mate. I know your pain ..and you really dont have to endure such misery..tenderly i say to you ,,,in whispers ..Jesus He is the one gets us by umm more that he makes us happier than a spouse could. I know I need a comapnion and so i have faith .. I will not let go of my beloved Saviou until a receiev whci hHe has promised (Luke 18:1-5) Dont give in keep asking and make the most of being single ..become the most chilled out person you can.
Blessin g to you JOHN

Personally up untill about a year ago I was never alone. Always ,wether, the person was good for me or not there had to be someone "special" for me. I spent so much time not being alone I wasnt sure what it was to be alone. I now know what its like to be alone, and IMO its not that bad I would even venture to say I enjoy it. Given my job, my life, my friends, it takes so much for me to juggle it all I am not alone, and I try my best to make time for those I care about and more so for those I normally wouldnt. I want to say God gives me that comfort, i know its His peace that allows me to be what I am, but sometimes it seems as though God is more of a spectator in my game. Getting by is just living, I cant fathom the thought of another person completing me (complimenting me though is a different story) or that I need another person so I wont struggle to get by or to be "happy". You cant rely on a person to get you by when you are down, there are people that can help, but you are setting the standard to high if you expect a person to pull you out S.O. or not. I mean isnt getting by just living and doing what you do?? If I recall we all start out "alone".... I think the real question is "How do you get by WITH someone."
Thats the challenge.

Warrior Poet

How do I "get by"? Quite well, thanks! I guess I'm a little cynical b/c I only wish to date devout Catholics and very few of these exist nowadays.

I get by all of the time because I love my privacy and/or independence and also I love being alone almost 95% of the time. Strange and wierd but true.

I am kind of the same way.

I like interacting with people, but am just as content being independent.

And the people I am most comfortable interacting with are those who have common values and beliefs.

(Edited, because what I first said did not come out right...this is what I really meant)