Friends changed?

evita · Dec 21, 2003

Ok, I'm home for Christmas break, and let me tell you that all of my friends are COMPLETELY different. It's so weird!! Sometimes it's for the better, but many of their lives seem to be going in a destructive direction. Anyone else going through this right now?

Misnomer · Dec 21, 2003

I went through that my first year of college. It was weird b/c some of the people I used to associate with were SO different. I just realized that people change and that I had to move on and pray that they wouldn't stray too far.

Uzi_4_U · Dec 22, 2003

As a matter of fact, I am. I am off of college for Christmas break. Anyway, one of my friends went off and joined the Marines. He has gone off to North Carolina now, but anyway, he came back for some leave and he has totally changed. When he left he was well, frankly like I was then. Anyway, he got shipped out and now he came back and is into Voodoo and the occult and has gotten in some trouble with the law over in North Carolina.
I am still pretty much like I was before he left despite the fact that things have changed in my life. I actually have a car and a driver's licensce now though. I just am praying for the guy.

Blessed-one · Dec 22, 2003

yeah.. people tend to change a lot once they leave high school... same for me too, and not just my friends.

seangoh · Dec 22, 2003

yeah it's sad to see your friends who have "moved on" with their lives. It's just tough to accept it easily that your friends have changed. Normally we would expect the good ol friends to be there until we grow old, but it's not the case most of the time. They change their look, change jobs, change attitude and change religion sometimes. Hard to handle yet this is what spices up your life probably.

For me, i've a friend who declared he has become a gay. And of course we were all shocked because of this change. Oh well.

superdave · Dec 22, 2003

What's really sad is me and my best friend are growing farther and farther apart. He's going one way- I am going another. It's really hard because I felt like he'd be my closest friend- but now... I don't think that's true. We hardly talk anymore, I will still do what I promised and make him Godfather of my children, and Let him be my best man- it's just we are growing up now. And you just have to accept it.

evita · Dec 22, 2003

superdave said:
What's really sad is me and my best friend are growing farther and farther apart. He's going one way- I am going another. It's really hard because I felt like he'd be my closest friend- but now... I don't think that's true. We hardly talk anymore, I will still do what I promised and make him Godfather of my children, and Let him be my best man- it's just we are growing up now. And you just have to accept it.

Exactly what I'm talking about, only with my best girl friend. We used to be so close, and now I feel like we are moving in complete opposite directions. It's hard because she barely returns my calls and emails. It has gotten better a little while ago, but now it's been almost a month since I've heard from her again even though I have called and emailed her a dozen times since then. Oh well, I guess I can't force her to talk to me...

mbuc · Dec 22, 2003

evita said:
Ok, I'm home for Christmas break, and let me tell you that all of my friends are COMPLETELY different. It's so weird!! Sometimes it's for the better, but many of their lives seem to be going in a destructive direction. Anyone else going through this right now?

I'm not going through it right now, but I went through it after high school. I had a few close friends in high school (I thought) who all went off to the same college after graduation while I went to college locally. We all agreed to stay in contact as much as possible once they got to school. Graduation came and went, they left for school, and I never heard from a single one of them again. I had no way to contact them from my end, and they made no effort to contact me from their end. That was over five years ago and I haven't associated with any of them since.

On a different note, I know that I'm a completely different person than I was when I was 18 years old, and I'm extremely thankful for that. It's not that I was a bad person before, but I've grown up, and that naturally involves fundamental changes to a person's character.

Blessed-one · Dec 22, 2003

seangoh said:
yeah it's sad to see your friends who have "moved on" with their lives.

For me, i've a friend who declared he has become a gay. And of course we were all shocked because of this change. Oh well.

BIG change!

JillLars · Dec 23, 2003

One big change I've had to go through is involvement w/ alcohol. When I was in highschool none of my friends, or me drank, now when I try to hang out with them when we're on break they always need to drink, and I still don't drink (I'm only 20, don't feel like breaking the law when my future father in law is the deputy sherriff, that's just one reason though.) Anyhoo, its just weird for me cause I don't have any "I got so drunk once..." stories. Luckily my best friend and I live close to one another, and I have become friends with her fiance, and friends with some new people, and none of us drink, we don't need to to have a good time.

evita · Dec 23, 2003

JillLars said:
One big change I've had to go through is involvement w/ alcohol. When I was in highschool none of my friends, or me drank, now when I try to hang out with them when we're on break they always need to drink, and I still don't drink (I'm only 20, don't feel like breaking the law when my future father in law is the deputy sherriff, that's just one reason though.) Anyhoo, its just weird for me cause I don't have any "I got so drunk once..." stories. Luckily my best friend and I live close to one another, and I have become friends with her fiance, and friends with some new people, and none of us drink, we don't need to to have a good time.

This is how my friends are here too! I miss my friends at school because we have tons of fun, and we NEVER go to bars! What's so fun about dancing around perverted men?!? Ugh, I just wish my other friends here would feel that way. I wonder what I'll do for New Years, I have a feeling it won't be too much fun.

Dawn Marie · Dec 23, 2003

JillLars said:
Anyhoo, its just weird for me cause I don't have any "I got so drunk once..." stories.

I don't have any of those stories either. I am of legal drinking age here in Canada, and I still haven't been drunk. I'm too scared. I'll probably drink on New Years Eve, but I doubt I'll get drunk. I think it's kinda pointless.

LadyBird · Dec 23, 2003

Yes. Many of my highschool friends came home for Christmas.
-One of them is getting engaged to a guy she met 2 1/2 months ago
-Another is into the party scene
-and lots of my other friends have become more mature and independent.

It is different...but I knew that they would all change. People don't stay the same forever, especially when they are young. It is weird because you know these people one way, and they come back and you dont even know who you are talking to!

superdave · Dec 23, 2003

evita said:
Exactly what I'm talking about, only with my best girl friend. We used to be so close, and now I feel like we are moving in complete opposite directions. It's hard because she barely returns my calls and emails. It has gotten better a little while ago, but now it's been almost a month since I've heard from her again even though I have called and emailed her a dozen times since then. Oh well, I guess I can't force her to talk to me...

I don't think you can ever force someone to have a friendship with you. I call this other person not my best friend all the time- and she says she'll call me back- but she never does. Finally, I just gave up and stopped talking to her altogether. Friendships are not one way streets- and I am not going to play a game where I am the only one that puts the input in the friendship. Friendships are suppose to edify you and edify the other person- what good is it if you are the only one making the moves?

KristiXP · Dec 24, 2003

I seriously don't have any friends anymore. Except for Belle, but we're many miles apart Also my boyfriend is my best friend, but other than that, I don't have any friends. They've all turned for the worst. One of them has had an abortion, one of them has lived with a couple of boyfriends. I've also learned that quite a few people from high school are either pregnant or going to be dads.

All through high school everyone was into the party scene. Even some people that were 'Christians' I'm not questioning their faith, but it just bothers me that they don't act like Christians and glorifying God.

I'm not friends with anyone from high school. They're all out there having sex, drinking, partying, doing drugs and living so horribly. I can't imagine living my life like that... It's so sad.

DJ B.K. · Dec 24, 2003

None of my friends have changed too much yet, but we're all still just freshman is college. I know it's going to happen sometime.

Periann · Dec 24, 2003

Dont worry it will P.O.D. Yea and you will too.

Im glad that Im not the only one going through this. All my old girl friends from high school are all into the partying scene and have boyfriends and stuff, I still talk to them but our relationships are hopelessly changed. I think it started senior year in high school when I was convicted by the Holy Spirit. I started viewing my actions differently I guess. I know what you mean about having Christian friends who party all the time. I know some of my friends are like that but when they realize what they are doing and want to change they will. Its not my place to point fingers.

Yea I seriously havent that many friends right now especially since I transferred to a college where I can commute from home. I wish I could say that its awesome being at home but I feel like things are soo different. Im different also. I guess its a part of life. Hopefully it will be changes for the better...

seangoh · Dec 24, 2003

hey KristiXP, merry Christmas to you! I loved your signature..lol..here's something for you.

"Then a voice said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah?
14 He replied, I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.
15 The LORD said to him, Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israelall whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him. " 1 Kings 19:13-18

mbuc · Dec 24, 2003

seangoh said:
"Then a voice said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah?
14 He replied, I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.
15 The LORD said to him, Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israelall whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him. " 1 Kings 19:13-18

That's a great passage. I gave a talk at a devotional a few months ago based on this section of scripture. I was preaching to myself more than anything. It's a good reminder that, no matter how desperate the circumstances seem, you are never alone and there is always work to be done.

Stanfi · Dec 25, 2003

As all of us get older we all change, in personality and looks, whether we realize it or not. When I was in High School, I had 5 really good friends. Today I only speak to one of them on a regular basis. However, as old friends drift out of your life, new ones will come in, as you are in college, and once you start working. Always be open to meeting and getting to know the new people that come into your life. I received and email, not to long ago. I wish I could remember all of it, but it stated something like there are a few who are friends for a lifetime, then there are those only for a season.

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