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Forgiveness and Reconciliation.

JIMINZ

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No you cannot, but are you saying you do not want to be reconciled to him, or he does't want to be reconciled to you.

In order to truly become reconciled, both parties need to agree to come together, forgetting the past.

Mat. 18:15
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

The act of Forgiveness is the act of Reconciliation.
We are Reconciled to God because He has forgiven us.

The one who is sinned against is the one who has the power of Reconciliation, they can Forgive the sin or not, but once the sin is forgiven, then the sin is forgotten......That is being Reconciled.
 
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coffeeandprayer

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Thank you for your reply! This isn’t about me and my sibling actually. I only have one brother (no sisters) and my brother and I are very close. Although, we fight like most brothers and sisters, we end up apologizing and solving the issue between us within days. This is just a question in general, because I know someone who claims to be a “Christian” lives and acts like the world, says she forgave her brother and yet doesn’t want to talk to him, she calls him toxic. He has done everything from apologizing when he was sinned against first, but she says she wants to stay away. It’s been 2+ years. He remains to be blocked by her from phone/social media. That is very strange to me and I haven’t seen someone so harsh before with their blood brother. I know them well, and know exactly what happened between them so I can judge the situation pretty accurately! Her brother has been a Born Again Christian for years and he is the one who brought her to Christ, if she’s saved that is. I totally agree with your response. Thank you for your time.
 
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Newtheran

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Can I forgive my sibling and not be reconciled with him? Please, back up your answers using the Bible! Thank you! God bless you all!

Sure. Forgiveness only takes one party. Reconciliation takes two.

Jesus forgave those who crucified him, but he certainly wasn't reconciled to them.
 
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coffeeandprayer

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Sure. Forgiveness only takes one party. Reconciliation takes two.

Jesus forgave those who crucified him, but he certainly wasn't reconciled to them.

Thank you for your answer... But those who crucified Jesus were none believers. (Jesus asked the Father to forgive them saying, for they know not what they do... but I don't actually think He forgave them as in saving them -- type of forgiveness. I believe they died as none believers.)

Yes we are to forgive everyone, but my question was specifically to forgiving a true blood brother/sister. Two individuals who are by the same parents and who both claim to be born again Christians. Are we not to reconcile? I believe Jesus is our model, Jesus forgave us and reconciled Himself to us (the Believers) while we were sinners, and for someone who claims that they have forgiven their sibling while not wanting to speak to them again, that is not true forgiveness shown to us by Jesus Himself, in my opinion. The Bible tells us to judge by someone's fruit (actions) not by their words... Jesus is love and mercy, and I don't see love and mercy in merely saying "I forgive you, but I want nothing to do with you." I see pride, and self love and self defence still, when someone does not want to reconcile. They haven't died to self yet, and the Bible tells us to crucify the self daily. If we love ourselves above what the Bible says, we are living in the flesh and not in the Spirit. (My interpretation of things has everything to do with my understanding of Christianity, it is my opinion but strictly based on the life of Jesus and His teachings from the Bible.)

"The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31

Blessings to you.
 
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Travelers.Soul

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Some times it may not be possible to be reconciled even if you have forgiven a sibling or relative of some sin they have committed against you. Not everyone who claims to be a believer is always a believer. I have personally known a family who claimed to be believers and yet sought to harm (lied, sued, and threatened to murder) their sibling. Thankfully God protected their sibling and the truth came out.
 
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coffeeandprayer

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Thank you for your response! I believe all true born again believers should have the heart of Jesus! He is our model! (This scenario has never ever happened before, thankfully) But in my opinion: if a stranger rapes me, I would forgive and never ever speak to him again. But if my father were to do that I would forgive him and be reconciled to my dad. He is my father no matter what! Of course, with that being said, he must repent. Unlike the case of the stranger, if he raped me repented or not — I would never ever speak to that person ever again and would just forgive him. That’s how it should be in my opinion.
 
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Sam91

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I think you are very naive, which in some ways is a blessing.

I have never seen such a wicked heart in anyone like in this one fake born again believer. It took me a long while to get over the fact that it exists and is a deliberate action with no conscience. I saw violence, mental, physical, sexual abuse, the person planning to destroy lives , making up crimes and reporting them to the police etc, spiritual abuse, lies, lies and more lies, lying to God during prayers, stealing etc. All the while spreading the gospel to anyone who would listen and telling Christians what they ought to do. I have forgiven him but not reconciled.

Galatians 6 says that we reap what we sow. Our consequences have actions. The Bible also tells us to be wise and warns us against foolishness. Think of the proverbs.

Sometimes reconciling can prevent a sinner feeling the natural consequences of his sins and won't be lead to a true repentance. As much as reconciliation is recommended it isn't always possible. Sometimes, it is dangerous.

I don't know which side you have been listening to but rememver that you won't be hearing the full story. That even a born again christian can be a faker and dangerous. Maybe the sister is being wise. We can not judge only pray.
 
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coffeeandprayer

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Thank you for your reply! But you said, "That even a born again christian can be a faker and dangerous" that does not sound like a characteristic of a true born again Christian and the Bible makes it very clear, that by someone's fruit we can judge and know whether they are in the faith or not. Fake and dangerous people belong to the world and not to Jesus.


Test 1: We know that we are Christian because we walk in the light (1 John 1:4-7). Our style of life is gradually conformed to what God has revealed to us about His nature and will.

Test 2: We know that we are Christian because our lives are marked by sensitivity to sin, repentance, and confession (1 John 1:8-10).

Test 3: We know that we are Christian because we keep God’s commands (1 John 2:3-4). We desire to know God’s will, strive to obey it, and mourn our disobedience.

Test 4: We know that we are Christian because we walk as Christ walked (1 John 2:4-5). We desire to imitate Christ and grow in conformity to Him.

Test 5: We know that we are Christian because we love other Christians, desire their fellowship, and seek to serve them in deed and truth (1 John 2:7-11).

Test 6: We know that we are Christian because of our increasing disdain for the world and because of our rejection of all that contradicts and opposes God’s nature and will (1 John 2:15-17).

Test 7: We know that we are Christian because we continue in the historic doctrines and practices of the Christian faith and remain within the fellowship of others who do the same (1 John 2:18-19).

Test 8: We know that we are Christian because we profess Christ to be God and hold Him in the highest esteem (1 John 2:22-24; 4:1-3, 13-15).

Test 9: We know that we are Christian because our lives are marked by a longing and practical pursuit of holiness (1 John 3:1-3).

Test 10: We know that we are Christian because we are practicing righteousness (1 John 2:28-29; 3:4-10). We are doing those things that conform to God’s righteous standard.

Test 11: We know that we are Christian because we have overcome the world (1 John 4:4-6; 5:4-5). Although we are often hard pressed and weary, we press on in faith. We continue following Christ and do not turn back.

Test 12: We know that we are Christian because we believe the things that God has revealed concerning His Son, Jesus Christ. We have eternal life in Him alone (1 John 5:9-12).


If we have these qualities, and they are increasing in us, we have evidence that we have come to know God and bear the fruit of a child of God. However, if these qualities are absent from our lives, we should have the greatest concern for our souls. We should be diligent to seek God regarding our salvation. We should reexamine ourselves to see if we are in the faith. We should be diligent to make our calling and election sure (2 Corinthians 13:5; 2 Peter 1:8-11).
 
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Sam91

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Yup first time in post I said 'fake born again Christian'. I was posting at around 2am my time. Funnily enough two of my posts last night have quoted to imply I was saying something different to what I meant or did say. :/ Am I really that incomprehensible?

Also to the rest of the church (and to me initially) he met all those tests... from an outside perspective. Dangerous people can seem very sincere. Maybe it is due to a lack of conscience getting in the way and getting away with serious crime in the past.
 
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