Feminine Mystique

msjones21 · Dec 11, 2003

LOL Living. I have the same problem with guys who wear blue jeans, long sleeve Henley's under a t-shirt, and put a tobagan (sp?) on their head. Very Enrique Iglesias. LOL

Hey Chevy, I like your new sigline. *winks*

Living4Him03 · Dec 11, 2003

72_Chev_Truck said:
Make a mental note: Cute girl likes khakis on men

:o

Buskanaka · Dec 13, 2003

if someone is attractive to me then they are attractive no matter what they wear! However a girl who dresses modestly is a whole lot more attractive in terms of frienships because I am more comfortable around her without worrying about 'looking' or lustful thoughts.

jenptcfan · Dec 13, 2003

Like someone else said earlier...I think it's definately ok to dress attractively. Attractiveness is at least 50% attitude...not clothing or looks, so someone can be sexy without showing much of anything. I'm not saying cover everything all the time. I don't. BUT I think sometimes that girls think showing it all off and flaunting it makes guys think "hey, she's really cute", but there comes a point where the guys aren't thinking "hey, she's cute" anymore, they're thinking "hey, look at that...she looks easy."

All of that to say when we leave too little to the imagination, what kind of attention are we really gaining...and is it the kind of attention that we as women want to gain?

Just a thought...not directed to anyone in particular.

Risen Tree · Dec 14, 2003

Nico said:
I think dressing w/taste is the idea, at least for me. I personnally am not going to wear a long skirt and turtle neck out everyday I do think that the female body is beautiful and should be celebrated and I don't really think it's bad to feel and look sexy, but tastefull sexy. And usually that happens when you respect yourself. When you respect yourself, you can wear something that might reveal your breasts a little bit in some way, but you're not going to overdo it and show leg up to here, and have everything be really tight along w/ massive amounts of make-up. Besides, if you've got great legs (or breasts, or arms or eyes, whatever), then flaunt them! They're not going to stay great forever....I think you can show of your legs in a fun, yes sexy way, but not be trashy about it.

I need to break some news to you. If you intentionally flount your legs or especially your breasts, guys--including Christian guys--WILL stare at you and lust after you. That's great that you are proud of your body--really, because that's one key attribute of someone with healthy self-esteem--but it is a mistake to brag about it via the way you dress. Remember, the person who should regard your body the most is yourself, not anyone else, especially guys.

It's weird, I go to art school, and we look at naked people all day, since we're drawing them etc. And it is usually not accompanied by any sexual thoughts, or something. I can look at both a man, and woman's naked body and think it is beautiful, but for the shapes and naturalness of it. But it's not like I'm thinking about sex. And most of the guys I know (most of whom are not chrisitan either) are the same way....There's a different view and respect of the human body.

I am really glad to hear this. You have discovered one of of the great secrets of our society: The human body is inherently beautiful, not lewd. It is a great work of art designed by the one true Artist. Social constructs are what make the nude body seem lewd and cheap. It is always refreshing to hear from someone who has not been blinded this way.

Nico · Dec 14, 2003

Rising Tree said:
I need to break some news to you. If you intentionally flount your legs or especially your breasts, guys--including Christian guys--WILL stare at you and lust after you. That's great that you are proud of your body--really, because that's one key attribute of someone with healthy self-esteem--but it is a mistake to brag about it via the way you dress. Remember, the person who should regard your body the most is yourself, not anyone else, especially guys.

I know that if I show some cleavage, for example, that it will provoke some looks in some ways, lustfull or not. However, on my part, if I do dress in a way that may be a bit more "sexy" it is definitely not for anyone else--not to attract a certain kind of attention. I don't do things to impress anyone really, men or women, but I do them either for God or b/c it's part of my personality....

This is just an interesting thought that popped into my head. I was reading some things about Islam b/c I'm completely ignorant in that religion. I came across a section that dealt with women, and their dress was very specifically addressed. It talked about the veiling and how a female should avert her eyes, etc. and the reasoning behind this was "for her protection, that no man should lust after her or treat her as a plaything. That if she is to uncover her beauty, a man will lust after her and she will become the focus of desire." I thought that was interesting. Especially since that culture seems, at least to me still, to be very demeaning towards woman and so male dominated that some bad things result....

Risen Tree · Dec 15, 2003

Nico said:
I know that if I show some cleavage, for example, that it will provoke some looks in some ways, lustfull or not. However, on my part, if I do dress in a way that may be a bit more "sexy" it is definitely not for anyone else--not to attract a certain kind of attention. I don't do things to impress anyone really, men or women, but I do them either for God or b/c it's part of my personality....

No, you're doing it because you think you can get away with it, that you are magically immune from lustful stares and the occasional dirty comment. Honestly, I wished we lived in a culture where you could show off your body in a non-sexual manner, but you can thank the pornography industry for keeping that from being possible for the meantime.

This is just an interesting thought that popped into my head. I was reading some things about Islam b/c I'm completely ignorant in that religion. I came across a section that dealt with women, and their dress was very specifically addressed. It talked about the veiling and how a female should avert her eyes, etc. and the reasoning behind this was "for her protection, that no man should lust after her or treat her as a plaything. That if she is to uncover her beauty, a man will lust after her and she will become the focus of desire." I thought that was interesting. Especially since that culture seems, at least to me still, to be very demeaning towards woman and so male dominated that some bad things result....

This is further evidence that we can fall off the spectrum at either end. We can be too prudish, like this, or we can degrade into a society of sleaziness, like America is today.

Again, I really wish that this society would break the nudity-equals-sex equation. It has caused us more problems than I could ever care to mention.

Nico · Dec 15, 2003

Rising Tree said:
No, you're doing it because you think you can get away with it, that you are magically immune from lustful stares and the occasional dirty comment. Honestly, I wished we lived in a culture where you could show off your body in a non-sexual manner, but you can thank the pornography industry for keeping that from being possible for the meantime.

Or perhaps I'm doing it b/c I don't care. Thoughts remain in their heads, therefore I can't hear them and they do not affect me, and I wear my headphones whenever I'm outside so I can block out any dirty comments, and therefore they do not affect me either.

Risen Tree · Dec 15, 2003

Nico said:
Or perhaps I'm doing it b/c I don't care. Thoughts remain in their heads, therefore I can't hear them and they do not affect me, and I wear my headphones whenever I'm outside so I can block out any dirty comments, and therefore they do not affect me either.

Typically speaking, how many people are involved in an act of sexual intercourse?

Risen Tree · Dec 16, 2003

/me thinks he scared Nico off with that question

msjones21 · Dec 16, 2003

Or perhaps I'm doing it b/c I don't care. Thoughts remain in their heads, therefore I can't hear them and they do not affect me, and I wear my headphones whenever I'm outside so I can block out any dirty comments, and therefore they do not affect me either.

The Bible says we are to make sure we don't act in a manner that will cause our brother or sister to stumble. If your immodest clothing causes guys to have lustful faults then the blame rests upon you. Maybe you can't hear their thoughts, but the fact remains you have given men the license to sin. And I'm sorry, no girl dresses showing off her legs and cleavage just because "she likes it". You have to admit you do like the male attention to some extent.

stray bullet · Dec 20, 2003

A woman's beauty comes from the inside, which is reflected in how she dresses, her behavior and her personality.

Matt Weston · Dec 20, 2003

My (Christian) girlfriend always dresses modestly - if she did anything different I wouldn't be attracted to her in the same way. I think she's an incredibly attractive girl, especially so when she dresses modestly - for exactly the reason stray bullet just said. Except she's also physically very attractive as well.

There was one time she wore a particular top that I had a bit of a problem with. It was fine unless we were right next to each other, at which point I had to catch myself a lot, stop myself from being tempted. I told her about it and she never wore the top again. I was incredibly grateful for it.

Stanfi · Dec 20, 2003

msjones21 said:
Gents - What do you think of young women who dress modestly? Prudish and unattractive or beautifully pure and feminine?

I haven't read the entire thread, but I do want to comment. I think that women who dress modestly show real dignity and class. I think that is something that is very attractive in someone that you would consider being serious about.

Also, think about this guys. Would you take a lady who dresses like a stripper to church with you, or to meet you mom? I know I wouldn't. So, if you wouldn't then you have no businees being with someone like that.

On another note, I often feel sorry for women who do not dress very modestly. I often think that dress like that to gain attention. I often think they want to be noticed. Something is missing in their lives, and I think they just want someone to love them.

Matt Weston · Dec 20, 2003

I'd agree with that as well.

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