Feelings of Doubt

Well, ever since I got saved I've been having doubts of my salvation. They are becoming fewer and farther apart, but I would like to be rid of them all.




I suppose I must start at the beginning.

Before I got saved I was living a double life and when I was around my parents I would act as though I was just a good kid but when I got around my friends I seemed to turn into a demon. This all changed on Labor Day weekend 2001 when I went to my grandpa's house. I have always been taught about the rapture and God's righteous wrath afterwards; I always feared it but shrugged it off when I heard of it. So sometime after midnight everyone was asleep but me. I was thinking about a strange movie that I'd just watched and while I was lying on the couch thinking I had the most terrifying feeling that I had just been left behind. I never experienced greater fear and hopelessness than that night. I went down to my moms room and I listened outside her door to see if I could hear her snore. I did. I then decided to get my life straight with God so I went back to the couch and asked Him to come into my life. I handed my life over to Him and I felt great joy. But the joy didn't last very long. I began to hear strange voices in my head. It seemed as though they were fighting. I then had the feeling of being left behind come back to me. All night long I would check to see if my mom was still there. That was the longest and most terrifying night of my life. After that night was over I had a hole in my stomach. My muscles were so tense and my stomach felt anxious every minute of the day. I even thought I was demon possessed. My mom assured me that I wasn't. Thinking of it that night now brings tears to my eyes. After that night I said the prayer of salvation probably fifty times a day! I was never sure of my salvation. I would ask God into my life and then a minute or two later I would do it again. This was an on going pattern for the next year and a half. I've been able to get through months without asking God into my life. That's a great break through for me but unfortunately it doesn't stop.

Will I ever get over this? Am I useless to God if I have this doubt?me. Help me.

And another big thing is that I still sin a lot. I know nobody is perfect once they get saved but there's just a few sins that seem to keep coming back. I'm sorry for them but I know it says in the Bible that you should sin less and less and less once you get saved.

Thanks all.

Pseud, I do have times of the day that I set to read the Bible and pray, but sometimes I miss it and that will feed my doubt.

Thanks all for your time and help.