Feeling Lost...

Caedmon · Jun 28, 2003

I've been feeling very alone lately. I've been going to mass when I don't have to work. But it just isn't doing enough for me. I feel alone sometimes, in part because it's a small parish. But I am longing for something that I am missing. I don't want to be Baptist, and a Baptist church is not my favorite place to be, but God bless... I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I'm so confused. I need people. Which is strange, considering how paranoid a person I am. But I just don't know what to do. I need fellowship with Christians. The thing is, there just aren't that many people in the parish. We have less than 50 at each mass. There are no young adult programs. The big Baptist church just had a blast today. They had this carnival with 2 moonwalks, and food, and music, and all sorts of things. Our parish hardly does anything. I just want a big community that I can be a part of. I miss that so much. The crowds were always huge at the Baptist church. They had so many people. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss the Bible studies, and the Sunday school, and the Vacation Bible School, and the trips, and the festivals, and the big age-based groups, and the parties, and all that fellowship. I miss it a lot. Please help me figure it out. I need something more in my life, and I need it soon.

Aaron-Aggie · Jun 28, 2003

humblejoe , I have no answers but I pray that the Lord shall guide you to the path that is yours to take.

panterapat · Jun 28, 2003

Sometimes God will isolate us so that we run to Him, not depending on human comfort but seeking Divine comfort.

There is nothing wrong with continuing your attending of Mass and RECEIVING THE EUCHARIST, ans still having a comunity in the Baptist church.

But don't let a great community (in th Baptist church) keep you from being a member of the church that has the posession of the Deposit of Faith from Christ (Catholic).

BTW- IMO there are a couple of reasons that Catholic churches tend to have less community than Protestants and others.

1) After Martin Luther broke away from the Catholic Church, they spurned the Eucharist. This left two dimensions for the Protestants to stress- the Bible and community. The Catholic Church has the Eucharist, thus did not develop the other dimensions as fully.

2) Most non-catholic churchs are stratified by the wealth of the members. You will find the very rich churches, mid level income churches and the poor churches, because people naturally seek their own. In the Catholic Church, all these levels of income earners are forced to attend the same church. Catholic cannot pick and choose. With the varied income and social levels, there tends to be less community in a Catholic church.

Remember John 6. Keep close o the Eucharist!!!!!!

In Christ, Patrick

Caedmon · Jun 28, 2003

panterapat said:
Keep close o the Eucharist!!!!!!

I don't participate in Catholic Eucharist. I'm not a Catholic yet.

geocajun · Jun 29, 2003

Sorry to hear that Joe! you know you can still go to bible studies with non Catholics but it wont be as fruitful.
Is there no other Catholic church's near-by? perhaps you can spend more time in adoration, or just generally work on your prayer life.
you could go out and convert local people to the Catholic faith so you can attend mass with them.
try getting a shirt from www.whostartedyourchurch.com and go to the baptist carnival (just kidding, you may want to take a more ecumenical approach)

I will pray for you Joe.

SlimmJimm · Jun 29, 2003

geocajun said:
Sorry to hear that Joe! you know you can still go to bible studies with non Catholics but it wont be as fruitful.
Is there no other Catholic church's near-by? perhaps you can spend more time in adoration, or just generally work on your prayer life.
you could go out and convert local people to the Catholic faith so you can attend mass with them.
try getting a shirt from www.whostartedyourchurch.com and go to the baptist carnival (just kidding, you may want to take a more ecumenical approach)

I will pray for you Joe.

You can still go to Bible studies with non Catholics but it won't be as fruitful??

Wow nice to hear that...I guess I'll come to you with my questions from now on since you seem to know the outcomes of non-Catholic Bible studies.

Caedmon · Jun 29, 2003

SlimmJimm said:
You can still go to Bible studies with non Catholics but it won't be as fruitful??

Wow nice to hear that...I guess I'll come to you with my questions from now on since you seem to know the outcomes of non-Catholic Bible studies.

Please no sour grapes...
I am Catholic in thinking, so to go to a non-Catholic Bible study would not be as productive as a Catholic one would, since they would use non-Catholic interpretations, just as it would be less productive for a Calvinist to go to a non-Calvinist Bible study. (And no, I am not assuming that you are Calvinist; it's just an example.)
Please do not hijack this thread. It is important to me.

JeffreyLloyd · Jun 29, 2003

Joe, I get this same feeling every now and then too.

I was a member of a small to mid size Southern Baptist Church before coming Catholic. We had TONS of things to do. From camping trips, car washes, parties, over night lock-ins, VBS (which our catholic church has too), bible bowls, the whole works.

Since becoming Catholic I do miss the fellowship and closeness that my old Baptist church had...

And as much as I miss it... I would NEVER go back. What we have in the Catholic Church is so much more important. We have truth. We are members of the only Church in the world founded by Jesus Christ himself!!!

You have to think of it this way! It is going to be tough but you'll get past it. I recommend a few things. One, maybe you should think about joining a new parish. Is this a possibility for you? Two, use the internet! I know it's hardly the same as one one one interaction with people, but there are millions of Catholic converts to help each other out each day. Ever try Stephen Ray's Catholic-convert.com message board? It's a fun board for new and potential Catholics. Three, pray and send time with Christ in Eucharist adoration.

Believe me Joe, I have the same feelings you have. But just keep in mind, that no matter how much we miss what we had, what we have now is so much better in so many different and wonderful ways.

Check out this website:
150 Reasons why I'm Catholic

Benedicta00 · Jun 29, 2003

SlimmJimm said:
You can still go to Bible studies with non Catholics but it won't be as fruitful??

Wow nice to hear that...I guess I'll come to you with my questions from now on since you seem to know the outcomes of non-Catholic Bible studies.

I think you miss-understood his point.

Joe is learning about Catholicism -- his comment was specific to that fact, that in a non Catholic bible study he will not learn about Catholicism-- which is what he wants to do, so therefore it will not be as fruitful but it will still be fruitful.

Benedicta00 · Jun 29, 2003

Joe,

I think your loneliness may be Jesus calling you to receive him in the Eucharist.

I agree that you can be fully Catholic and still do protestant activities as long as you do not have communion with them or stop going to Mass. In fact I think it would be a great way to bring some unity to the two faiths.

Benedicta00 · Jun 29, 2003

humblejoe said:
Please no sour grapes...
I am Catholic in thinking, so to go to a non-Catholic Bible study would not be as productive as a Catholic one would, since they would use non-Catholic interpretations, just as it would be less productive for a Calvinist to go to a non-Calvinist Bible study. (And no, I am not assuming that you are Calvinist; it's just an example.)
Please do not hijack this thread. It is important to me.

Sorry--Joe, i posted before i saw that you took care of it.

CopticOrthodox · Jun 29, 2003

When I left Protestantism, I attended a Catholic Church for about a year. In that time I didn't get to know one person other than the two priests who were wonderful. And it was a Cathedral with a lot of people, just unfortunatly people who rushed in, got it done, and rushed out. There was absolutely no sense of community. This wasn't fun, but looking back, it was helpful. It gave me time to myself to come to peace with all my decisions and not be swayed or influenced by socializing or feelings of belinging, just seeking the truth for itself.

Later I started attending my church. It is much different, the people are very warm & friendly, and everyone sits and eats together after Church, and comes together for various meetings. But I was still alone. I didn't know anyone, and I was pretty much in and out, very caught up in decisions.

Later I was finally Baptised & had Communion, and shortly after that I started to get close to some of the people. I've been Orthodox over a year now, and now there are so many amazing people that I know there, some of whom are my closest friends.

In my case God lead me into a time kind of alone to sort things out, and then once everything was set and I was home, then I became part of the community and wasn't alone there anymore.

I have no idea what God has instore for you, but that you can trust that if you are following where He is leading, He will provide for all your needs, in His time, and His way, and when you're looking back afterwards you'll be able to see how perfectly He provided for you.

I hope that you find everything you need.

nyj · Jun 29, 2003

Joe,

Sometimes we're not handed the easy route, finding a place with a community already established and welcoming us with open arms. There are occassions where we must construct that which we are wanting, taking the initiative to shape the community we are seeking, yet not infusing it with our ego so that it can take the form that God wants it to (rather than trying to control its growth).

Knowing that you are a shy person Joe, perhaps this is something that God has challenged you with, you "round you out" as a person. There isn't a Bible Study? Why not go to your priest and suggest one? Why not approach a couple of the lectors and suggest that they do a weekend Bible study, focusing on the readings for the next week? Why not help arrange for coffee and donuts for after the Mass, where people can spend some time in community after the Mass is finished?

You know how the adage goes: If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. Perhaps God has meant for you to contribute to this parish by donating your time and talents to get some programs "off the ground".

SSPX · Jun 29, 2003

humblejoe said:
I've been feeling very alone lately. I've been going to mass when I don't have to work. But it just isn't doing enough for me. I feel alone sometimes, in part because it's a small parish. But I am longing for something that I am missing. I don't want to be Baptist, and a Baptist church is not my favorite place to be, but God bless... I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I'm so confused. I need people.

"Be sober, be watchful! For your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, goes about seeking someone to devour. Resisit him steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same suffering befalls your brethren all over the world." 1 Peter 5:8,9

Get a copy of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, or if you have it already look up the section called Rules for the Discernment of Spirits. It will help you see more clearly between the tricks of the evil one, and those good inspirtations from the "good angel". What you are going through right now could in fact be from the "bad angel", as St. Ignatius calls it. One of the devil's tricks is to make us sad in the service of God in the hope of discouraging us, but if we are doing God's will there is no reason to be sad. So if you are feeling discouraged, or sad recognize that it is probably from the devil, invoke St. Michael the archangel and fight back.

jukesk9 · Jun 29, 2003

humblejoe said:
I don't participate in Catholic Eucharist. I'm not a Catholic yet.

Go to Perpetual Adoration. Spend an hour in front of Our Lord and Savior, present in the Eucharist.

Caedmon · Jun 29, 2003

JeffreyLloyd said:
Joe, I get this same feeling every now and then too.

I was a member of a small to mid size Southern Baptist Church before coming Catholic. We had TONS of things to do. From camping trips, car washes, parties, over night lock-ins, VBS (which our catholic church has too), bible bowls, the whole works.

Since becoming Catholic I do miss the fellowship and closeness that my old Baptist church had...

And as much as I miss it... I would NEVER go back. What we have in the Catholic Church is so much more important. We have truth. We are members of the only Church in the world founded by Jesus Christ himself!!!

Well I miss all that stuff, and I wish I still had it. I wouldn't mind going to, not necessarily Baptist, but any church that had those kinds of things, as long as they didn't pressure me into joining their church, like the Baptist church does.

You have to think of it this way! It is going to be tough but you'll get past it. I recommend a few things. One, maybe you should think about joining a new parish. Is this a possibility for you?

Well, the closest parish is like 35 miles away, so that's 70 miles of gas to and from. That'll put a hole in my wallet.

Two, use the internet! I know it's hardly the same as one one one interaction with people, but there are millions of Catholic converts to help each other out each day. Ever try Stephen Ray's Catholic-convert.com message board? It's a fun board for new and potential Catholics.

Well I like the internet, and I have some good Catholic friends on here, but I want some people I can hang out with IRL.

Three, pray and send time with Christ in Eucharist adoration.

Well, I don't know if that would work for me just yet.

Believe me Joe, I have the same feelings you have. But just keep in mind, that no matter how much we miss what we had, what we have now is so much better in so many different and wonderful ways.

Well I'm not talking about joining another church. I'm just talking about doing some of the stuff that they do. But I guess I can kind of understand what you're saying, because all the stuff they talk about will be flavored with their church's view. But as long as they don't push it or criticize me, I don't mind.

Caedmon · Jun 29, 2003

nyj said:
Joe,

Sometimes we're not handed the easy route, finding a place with a community already established and welcoming us with open arms. There are occassions where we must construct that which we are wanting, taking the initiative to shape the community we are seeking, yet not infusing it with our ego so that it can take the form that God wants it to (rather than trying to control its growth).

Knowing that you are a shy person Joe, perhaps this is something that God has challenged you with, you "round you out" as a person. There isn't a Bible Study? Why not go to your priest and suggest one? Why not approach a couple of the lectors and suggest that they do a weekend Bible study, focusing on the readings for the next week? Why not help arrange for coffee and donuts for after the Mass, where people can spend some time in community after the Mass is finished?

You know how the adage goes: If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. Perhaps God has meant for you to contribute to this parish by donating your time and talents to get some programs "off the ground".

Yeah, maybe... Well I like to go camping a lot. Maybe I could get them to all come out and camp on the land sometime. I don't know. I guess I could do something like that. Bible study would be good too, but keeping it regular would be hard with everybody's schedule. Coffee and doughnuts sounds good for after mass. It would take some dollars and a big coffee maker, but it'd be easier than the other stuff.

The only thing I would have real trouble with is feeling like I belong enough to be "worthy" to do stuff for the church. If I was a real Catholic, then maybe that would make it easier. I mean, I feel kinda cheesy going up to them and telling them how to run their church. I'm having some trouble converting right now, so I'm having to take it slow. But I've done a few things for the church, like one time I led he Stations of the Cross, and that was good.(I learned I like hearing myself talk for prolonged periods of time, the perfect professor, bwahaha!! ) Anyways, even though I feel shy and like I sort of don't belong, I will try to get some stuff going here. Maybe I can help them do some stuff.

Caedmon · Jun 29, 2003

CopticOrthodox said:
In my case God lead me into a time kind of alone to sort things out, and then once everything was set and I was home, then I became part of the community and wasn't alone there anymore.

I don't know... I have spent a lot of time alone already in my life, and I'm going bananas. I hope it doesn't last for too much longer. Actually, I do have some friends there, but I don't see them a lot. I hope I get to see them more, and find some more friends too.

Caedmon · Jun 29, 2003

SSPX said:
Get a copy of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, or if you have it already look up the section called Rules for the Discernment of Spirits. It will help you see more clearly between the tricks of the evil one, and those good inspirtations from the "good angel". What you are going through right now could in fact be from the "bad angel", as St. Ignatius calls it. One of the devil's tricks is to make us sad in the service of God in the hope of discouraging us, but if we are doing God's will there is no reason to be sad. So if you are feeling discouraged, or sad recognize that it is probably from the devil, invoke St. Michael the archangel and fight back.

Well I'm usually a pretty anxious person, so I have to deal with it all the time anyway. But I've been taking an OTC anti-depressant, and that is helping me. Do you think depression is from this bad angel or whatever? Anyways, I heard about Ignatian meditation, but I don't have that book you were talking about.

Caedmon · Jun 29, 2003

jukesk9 said:
Go to Perpetual Adoration. Spend an hour in front of Our Lord and Savior, present in the Eucharist.

Well I'm trying to work up to something like that, but it doesn't really work for me right now, although I have been wondering about it.

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