FAITH
I was baptized on June 16, 1985. I had faith that Christianity was the truth, but I didn't know that it was the truth. I didn't have 100% faith. I think I had a faith that was based on my own judgment. It's not surprising that I eventually lost that faith. I lost my faith no later than March of 1994. I had no faith that God even existed.
I had no idea what to believe. Maybe Christians had just fooled themselves into believing what they wanted or needed to believe. Who said that the only options were one God and no God, anyway? Why couldn't there be more than one God? And who said God had to be a loving, all-powerful God? Wasn't that just wishful thinking? Maybe people believed in a loving, all-powerful God because they weren't able to cope with all the pain and suffering in the world on their own. Maybe people believed in eternal life as a way of dealing with their fear of death. Weren't the claims of the Bible just too good to be true? It wasn't difficult to see why people would want to believe that those claims were true. I wanted to believe that they were true. I wanted to believe in Jesus Christ.
At some point I determined that, out of all the faiths and religions in the world, the Christian faith was the only serious contender for being the truth. But I still didn't have faith that God even existed. All I could do was pray to a God that I wasn't sure existed. I basically said, "God, if you exist, please let me know in my heart that you do. And if the Christian faith is the truth, please let me know in my heart that it is. Please give me faith."
By March of 2002, I had regained my faith, but I think that it was still a faith based on my own judgment. I believed that the Christian faith was the truth, but I wasn't certain that it was. Even though I had faith again, I almost never went to church. From March of 1994 to February of 2004, I don't think I went to church more than ten times. By March of 2004, my faith had become pretty strong, even though I hadn't been attending church.
Between March of 1994 and April of 2004, I asked God many times to let me know that He existed and that the Christian faith was the truth. I wanted to have the kind of faith that's described in Hebrews 11:1.
On March 14, 2004, I went to church for the first time in a very long time. My eyes welled up with tears while I was singing a hymn. I didn't go to church again until April 9.
On April 9, 2004, I went to a Good Friday church service. We had to get in line to take Communion that night. I took Communion and returned to my seat. Other people were still taking Communion. I don't remember what I was thinking exactly, but at some point my eyes welled up with tears. Then I just started sobbing. After a few minutes, I stopped. The Holy Spirit had let me know that the Christian faith is the truth.
I know that the Trinity is the truth. I know that Christ rose from the dead. I know that Jesus the Christ is God. I know that I am indwelt by the Holy Spirit. I know that angels and demons are real. I know that Christ will return someday. I know that I have eternal life. I am sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see.
God answered my prayer. He gave me faith. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faithand this not from yourselves, it is the gift of Godnot by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).
I realized that I was a Calvinist no later than May 23, 2004.
The Five Points of Calvinism
Total Depravity
Unconditional Election (Sovereign Election)
Limited Atonement (Particular Redemption)
Irresistible Grace (Effectual Grace)
Perseverance of the Saints (Preservation of the Saints)
Sola Fideby faith alone
Sola Gratiaby grace alone
Soli Deo Gloriato God alone be the glory
I am the lowliest of sinners. I deserve to go to hell. It is by God's grace that I am saved. "Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressionsit is by grace you have been saved" (Ephesians 2:4-5).
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" (Romans 3:23-24).
"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21).
"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and the love that are in Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 1:14).
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8).
Matthew 14:25-31
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Psalm 116:1-9
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
"O LORD, save me!"
The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.
For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.
Acts 20:24
I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given methe task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
I was baptized on June 16, 1985. I had faith that Christianity was the truth, but I didn't know that it was the truth. I didn't have 100% faith. I think I had a faith that was based on my own judgment. It's not surprising that I eventually lost that faith. I lost my faith no later than March of 1994. I had no faith that God even existed.
I had no idea what to believe. Maybe Christians had just fooled themselves into believing what they wanted or needed to believe. Who said that the only options were one God and no God, anyway? Why couldn't there be more than one God? And who said God had to be a loving, all-powerful God? Wasn't that just wishful thinking? Maybe people believed in a loving, all-powerful God because they weren't able to cope with all the pain and suffering in the world on their own. Maybe people believed in eternal life as a way of dealing with their fear of death. Weren't the claims of the Bible just too good to be true? It wasn't difficult to see why people would want to believe that those claims were true. I wanted to believe that they were true. I wanted to believe in Jesus Christ.
At some point I determined that, out of all the faiths and religions in the world, the Christian faith was the only serious contender for being the truth. But I still didn't have faith that God even existed. All I could do was pray to a God that I wasn't sure existed. I basically said, "God, if you exist, please let me know in my heart that you do. And if the Christian faith is the truth, please let me know in my heart that it is. Please give me faith."
By March of 2002, I had regained my faith, but I think that it was still a faith based on my own judgment. I believed that the Christian faith was the truth, but I wasn't certain that it was. Even though I had faith again, I almost never went to church. From March of 1994 to February of 2004, I don't think I went to church more than ten times. By March of 2004, my faith had become pretty strong, even though I hadn't been attending church.
Between March of 1994 and April of 2004, I asked God many times to let me know that He existed and that the Christian faith was the truth. I wanted to have the kind of faith that's described in Hebrews 11:1.
On March 14, 2004, I went to church for the first time in a very long time. My eyes welled up with tears while I was singing a hymn. I didn't go to church again until April 9.
On April 9, 2004, I went to a Good Friday church service. We had to get in line to take Communion that night. I took Communion and returned to my seat. Other people were still taking Communion. I don't remember what I was thinking exactly, but at some point my eyes welled up with tears. Then I just started sobbing. After a few minutes, I stopped. The Holy Spirit had let me know that the Christian faith is the truth.
I know that the Trinity is the truth. I know that Christ rose from the dead. I know that Jesus the Christ is God. I know that I am indwelt by the Holy Spirit. I know that angels and demons are real. I know that Christ will return someday. I know that I have eternal life. I am sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see.
God answered my prayer. He gave me faith. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faithand this not from yourselves, it is the gift of Godnot by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).
I realized that I was a Calvinist no later than May 23, 2004.
The Five Points of Calvinism
Total Depravity
Unconditional Election (Sovereign Election)
Limited Atonement (Particular Redemption)
Irresistible Grace (Effectual Grace)
Perseverance of the Saints (Preservation of the Saints)
Sola Fideby faith alone
Sola Gratiaby grace alone
Soli Deo Gloriato God alone be the glory
I am the lowliest of sinners. I deserve to go to hell. It is by God's grace that I am saved. "Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressionsit is by grace you have been saved" (Ephesians 2:4-5).
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" (Romans 3:23-24).
"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21).
"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and the love that are in Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 1:14).
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8).
Matthew 14:25-31
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Psalm 116:1-9
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
"O LORD, save me!"
The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.
For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.
Acts 20:24
I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given methe task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.