Face appearance

Is it true that Guys ONLY look for pretty girls? Those girls that are normal or below normal appearance, they won't even be bothered to know them?

I think guys normally pioritise girls' facial appearance first before knowing a girl.. right?

Yeah. I mean, that's what we'll be seeing 99% of the time. And we don't talk to breasts or bodies, either.

But when you say "normal" . . . come on. Most women are pretty, at least to some degree. I'd say "normal" is pretty, and ugliness is not normal.

And fyi, many guys won't have a problem with getting to know the not-so-pretty girls. It's just that we probably won't date them. But think about it. Would you want a bf that doesn't think you're pretty? If a guy is going to date you, he'll think you're pretty.

Have a look at the married couples you know. I bet not all of the women will be (or will ever have been) 'pretty'. Some guys pay a LOT of attention to the exterior. Some pay very little. It depends on the guy, and his sense of aesthetics, his ego, his superficiality levels, etc.

I tend to find 'normal' looking women as attractive, if not more attractive, than those the media tends to portray as pretty. Guys have different things they like. Personally, I think we're wired that way. Sure, media does have an influence, but I think if you scratch most guys for an honest answer, they'll say they're attracted to things that fall outside the stereotypes of what beauty is often claimed to be.

This question gets asked soo much that it is a little ridiculous. Yes most men in toldays world (even some Christians) are very superficial. They look only on the outside.

True "beauty" comes from within tho'. It is a gift from God the Father. Not everyone has it.

Physical beauty comes and goes. True inner beauty will never fail. A loving heart and a tender spirit is more beautifull in my honest opinion. And I truely belive that if a man is willing to give his love/lust/and affections to God to use and to mold in His will, than he too will see this beauty. The problem lies in the selfish spirit the all humans are born with.

God Bless

trust_faith said:

Is it true that Guys ONLY look for pretty girls?

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Yes.

trust_faith said:

Those girls that are normal or below normal appearance, they won't even be bothered to know them?

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Well, bothered to know is different from being in a relationship with someone. I know a lot of girls that I'm not in or have never considered being in a relationship with. (but I think most people can say the same thing).

trust_faith said:

I think guys normally pioritise girls' facial appearance first before knowing a girl.. right?

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Depends. I don't get to know or choose not to know people based on their facial appearance. There are usually other factors that are in play.

InTheFlame said:

Have a look at the married couples you know. I bet not all of the women will be (or will ever have been) 'pretty'.

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To you perhaps. At the same time, no husband is going to say his wife is not pretty.

InTheFlame said:

Some guys pay a LOT of attention to the exterior. Some pay very little. It depends on the guy, and his sense of aesthetics, his ego, his superficiality levels, etc.

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I don't think we should view guys that value the exterior as a terrible thing. Do you want your husband to tell you "honey, you ain't pretty at ALL, but you have a beautiful interior."

The fact is men will date/marry women they are attracted to. I don't think women should expect every man to be attracted to them.

From what I know about the men that I know (does that make sense?), they are very visual. Most of the profiles on a site that I belong to have the men stating that they want a Godly woman, then they go on to show how they live a Godly life, etc. and waaaaay down in the bottom they state that they want an "athletic/slender" woman. I know this has nothing to do with the face issue but it tells me that men tend to want a visually pleasing woman....assuming the athletic/slender type is visually pleasing to them.



Women are different....I don't know what we are off the top of my head but we're not normally visual first.

Hope that made sense. I have a wicked bad headache and probably shouldn't have posted so if it didn't make sense just ignore what I wrote and hopefully my brain will be better tomorrow.

Tenorvoice said:

This question gets asked soo much that it is a little ridiculous. Yes most men in toldays world (even some Christians) are very superficial. They look only on the outside.

True "beauty" comes from within tho'. It is a gift from God the Father. Not everyone has it.

Physical beauty comes and goes. True inner beauty will never fail. A loving heart and a tender spirit is more beautifull in my honest opinion. And I truely belive that if a man is willing to give his love/lust/and affections to God to use and to mold in His will, than he too will see this beauty. The problem lies in the selfish spirit the all humans are born with.

God Bless

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I have the utmost respect for you Tenor.

However, I do not agree with you wholly on this mainly because you didn't take what you said a step further. Physical beauty has it's place in relationships. While I agree with you that we shouldn't make it higher than it is, we should also be carefull not to make it lower than it should be. The same thing with inner beauty, we shouldn't make it higher than it is (we shouldn't make it the all in all) and we shouldn't make it lower.

Also, the idea of inner beauty is one that is not so easy to grasp. Really, who is beautiful on the inside? I think it is easy to hide behind it because it is not easily 'seen'. The fact is that just as no one is physically perfect, no one's character is perfect or spirit is perfect. Knowing this everyone knows that when they look for what they call inner beauty, they are not looking for perfection (whatever this means, it looks different for everyone). The same goes with outer beauty, when someone says they are looking for someone beautiful or pretty on the outside, it is easy to assume they are looking for (physical) perfection (whatever this means, it looks different for everyone also). It need not be the case.

trust_faith said:

Is it true that Guys ONLY look for pretty girls? Those girls that are normal or below normal appearance, they won't even be bothered to know them?

I think guys normally pioritise girls' facial appearance first before knowing a girl.. right?

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bottom line is we usually will speak that attract us in some way so it goes both ways women are into the phsycial as well as the men...

trust_faith said:

Is it true that Guys ONLY look for pretty girls? Those girls that are normal or below normal appearance, they won't even be bothered to know them?

I think guys normally pioritise girls' facial appearance first before knowing a girl.. right?

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Some good points have been made here, but my initial response to your quesion is "based on whose definition of 'pretty'?" Everybody has different tastes, and some guy that I think is drop-dead gorgous you might puke over. So just because one guy might not think you're pretty doesn't mean all guys are going to think that about you.

the_man said:

To you perhaps. At the same time, no husband is going to say his wife is not pretty.

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Rubbish. OK, any man who isn't out to hurt his wife won't say she's not pretty where she can hear him. That's a lot different to not saying it.

the_man said:

I don't think we should view guys that value the exterior as a terrible thing.

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I didn't say men who value the exterior are terrible. I said 'superficial' which is exactly what it is... the word means 'focused on the outside'.

1. Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2. Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3. Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4. Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.

www.dictionary.com

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the_man said:

Do you want your husband to tell you "honey, you ain't pretty at ALL, but you have a beautiful interior."

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I'd much rather that than 'honey, you're pretty, but you're a stupid, mean ***** who has no control over her temper'

the_man said:

The fact is men will date/marry women they are attracted to. I don't think women should expect every man to be attracted to them.

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Some men find a woman who is loving, gentle, kind and committed to God, much more appealing than the best physical appearance. I know several. Of course, these are generally men who've tried life the other way, realised how little it helped them find a good life partner, and decided to look at people through GOD's eyes. That takes a fair amount of humility and maturity, though.

So often it's seen as some kind of charity to be seen through God's eyes. But someone who's honestly viewing people through God's eyes will see that person's faults as well, remember. Physical beauty fades... it's good memories which make a person's face seem beautiful over the years. So what if a person starts out gorgeous - they won't stay that way

InTheFlame said:

So what if a person starts out gorgeous - they won't stay that way

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What is your definition of gorgeous?

trust_faith said:

Is it true that Guys ONLY look for pretty girls? Those girls that are normal or below normal appearance, they won't even be bothered to know them?

I think guys normally pioritise girls' facial appearance first before knowing a girl.. right?

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Not all guys are the same. While there are some who do just what you've said, there are also lots who do not.

Also, something to think about - have you ever noticed that many of the movie and tv stars who are considered extraordinarily good looking - both male and female stars - have at least one facial feature that is really odd. Like a huge mouth or a strangely shaped nose or cheeks that stick out or a mole or something like that. Yet people rave about how gorgeous that particular person is. Just something to think about.

sweetcaroline said:

From what I know about the men that I know (does that make sense?), they are very visual. Most of the profiles on a site that I belong to have the men stating that they want a Godly woman, then they go on to show how they live a Godly life, etc. and waaaaay down in the bottom they state that they want an "athletic/slender" woman. I know this has nothing to do with the face issue but it tells me that men tend to want a visually pleasing woman....assuming the athletic/slender type is visually pleasing to them.

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I'll bet just as many women say similar things... they want a guy who loves God etc., will only consider dating a guy who's 'buff', 'chiseled', or whatever she considers a 'hottie' (usually a Hollywood construct as well). Why do you think so many guys lift weights to build arm size etc.? There was a time when I lifted a lot... not because I was weak (I wasn't), but because I wanted that bulked up look that many women swoon over. It's all about the muscled looks that captures the attention of the fairer sex. Unfortunately, while I was physically stronger than most built-looking guys at the gym, I didn't have that all important muscular look. I could out-lift most of the muscle guys, but still looked skinny in comparison. Blame efficient muscles for that one. In this instance, appearance was clearly more important to women than objective strength. I did get more attention when I managed bulk up a bit, but my strength wasn't the true factor. Appearance was. I had to train for muscle mass, not muscle strength. The same can be said for glasses etc. Many women seem to want a guy who 'looks intelligent,' rather than one who actually posesses a high IQ. Anyway, like I was saying, I think the looks knife cuts both ways.

This probably holds true for faces too. But as I said earlier, I think if we're all honest with ourselves, and tune out all the junk we're fed by the misguided media, we'll find what we're really truly attracted to. And that is often at odds with popular myth (which has changed throughout history). Whether it be a face, arms, legs etc., true beauty is still in the eye of the beholder.

Just to add to my last post here....

The "inner Beauty" that I spoke of is really a "glow/twinkle" that is seen in the eye's, deep in the eye's. There is a sence of God's Peace and Grace that shines on their face @ all times. In good times and bad. This is the "gift" of inner beauty that I was speaking of.

Sorry for the confusion.

This entire world just needs to stop is infatuation on beauty. Now don't hera me saying that we do not need to take care of ourselves, and look our best. I am in now way saying that we need to all be slobs,a nd walk around with grimy clothes/hair/ and not have bathed in days. This is not what I am saying @ all.

What I am saying that this pittiful world that we are a part of (and called to be different from, we are called to be Salt and Light in a Dark and Decaying world). Has placed if focus on superficial outer beausty, to the point that we have driven our women to the point that they feel that if they do not have super modle looks and soo skinny that if the wind were to blow a little to hard then they woud be blown into the next county.

There is so much $ spent every year on plastic surgeries that are not needed @ all. It breaks my heart to see it done, time and time again.

Sorry for the rant.

i'll just throw this in here:
i know soo many girls who look purely on the outside appearance of guys. So, it's not only the guys who look for the cute ones. i mean, there has to be some attraction, right? i'm not saying looks are everything because..wow, that would be soooo off!!

InTheFlame said:

Rubbish. OK, any man who isn't out to hurt his wife won't say she's not pretty where she can hear him. That's a lot different to not saying it.

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Perhaps...I pity that man though.

InTheFlame said:

I didn't say men who value the exterior are terrible. I said 'superficial' which is exactly what it is... the word means 'focused on the outside'.

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Ahh, yes. Not everyone who values the exterior is superficial.

InTheFlame said:

I'd much rather that than 'honey, you're pretty, but you're a stupid, mean ***** who has no control over her temper'

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Right. This is were I have the problem. It is as if somene who is is pretty is automatically stupid, mean or doesn't have control over her temper. Why should being physically attractive be mutually exclusive with being a decent person?

InTheFlame said:

Some men find a woman who is loving, gentle, kind and committed to God, much more appealing than the best physical appearance. I know several. Of course, these are generally men who've tried life the other way, realised how little it helped them find a good life partner, and decided to look at people through GOD's eyes. That takes a fair amount of humility and maturity, though.

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Most men find a woman who is loving, gentle, kind, committed to God and physically attractive (to them), much more appealing than somene who is loving, gentle, kind and committed to God (as the latter lady could be anyone, the former would be someone they would consider marrying). Again, the theme of having great internal qualities implying that person is not pretty (or because someone is pretty they cannot have these great internal qualities). Just because a woman is loving, gentle, kind and committed to God doesn't mean she is for me (or any other guy). Just because a woman is physically attractive doesn't mean she is for me either (or any other guy).

I'm glad for these men that you know of . . . they shouldn't have been looking for ONLY a pretty face in the first place.

InTheFlame said:

So often it's seen as some kind of charity to be seen through God's eyes. But someone who's honestly viewing people through God's eyes will see that person's faults as well, remember. Physical beauty fades... it's good memories which make a person's face seem beautiful over the years. So what if a person starts out gorgeous - they won't stay that way

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Mmm hmm. Isn't that the whole point? These loving, gentle, kind and committed to God are not perfect human beings. Someone who is physical attractive is not perfect either. One usually marries someone with an acceptable balance of BOTH. With the four loves, eros is only found in marriage. There is an acceptable and good reason for that.

I'm just tried of the "looks don't matter" crusade in Christian circles. The only reason someone would take that stance is because their idea of good looks match up more with what the world tells us than they (themselves) would like to believe. That is, they actually believe that there is a standard of beauty and this standard is what the world tells us (i.e. the woman on the cover of magazines). In order to combat this, they take the stance that looks shouldn't/don't matter. But the truth is, not everone is attracted to the women in the magazines. She is not the standard of beauty. No one is; beaut is different to every person. Only after realizing this can we then have an healthy perspective on physical attraction. (i.e.) Looks has it's place in romantic relationships. While we musn't be guilty of making it more that what it is, we should also be careful not to make it less than it is.

trust_faith said:

Is it true that Guys ONLY look for pretty girls? Those girls that are normal or below normal appearance, they won't even be bothered to know them?

I think guys normally pioritise girls' facial appearance first before knowing a girl.. right?

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The notions of "pretty girls" varies - especially with faces. Symmetry is always an attraction, and while I do think there may be a singular perfect face, guys vary a lot in the priorities and signficance they place on various perfections. For example, a little extra fat in a face and small eyes will probably make someone unattractive to me, but I don't mind a longer than average nose nor thin lips. Other guys wouldn't mind the extra fat and small-eyes.

If you're normal looking it's highly likely some guys will be very attracted to you because where you aren't perfect may be unimportant to them.

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder - everyone has their own definition of what they find beautiful. On a physical level, a woman's eyes are a woman's most attractive feature yet, what's much important is their heart - of course, it's easy to find people attractive, but i believe that we should discover someone's inner beauty. Attraction will start on a physical level and then become deeper and more meaningful when the beauty of the other person unravels before our eyes as we get to know them.