Escapism

Left · Mar 5, 2017

I spend a lot of time at the computer and reading books. You could say I sometimes use them as a form of escapism. But time is also limited in life. So I might escape my life so much, that pretty soon, I will be old and all my family will be gone - you never know when someone is going to get cancer, etc.

I'm torn on what to do. I have a love/hate relationship with most of my family. The "hate" part comes in in that there's a lot of conflict and I end up finding it better to get another hobby than to pay much time with them. The "love" part comes in in that deep down, I always want them around, to be with them. Because I wouldn't know life as it is without them.

What are your thoughts on such matters of faith? Should we spend as much time possible with our families? Or just be a bit more introverted/reserved and focus on ourselves? Is it best to strike a balance?

miknik5 · Mar 5, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
I spend a lot of time at the computer and reading books. You could say I sometimes use them as a form of escapism. But time is also limited in life. So I might escape my life so much, that pretty soon, I will be old and all my family will be gone - you never know when someone is going to get cancer, etc.

I'm torn on what to do. I have a love/hate relationship with most of my family. The "hate" part comes in in that there's a lot of conflict and I end up finding it better to get another hobby than to pay much time with them. The "love" part comes in in that deep down, I always want them around, to be with them. Because I wouldn't know life as it is without them.

What are your thoughts on such matters of faith? Should we spend as much time possible with our families? Or just be a bit more introverted/reserved and focus on ourselves? Is it best to strike a balance?

Do you have a job

Earatha · Mar 5, 2017

About seven years ago I was in the same place. I spent hours and hours playing games or watching anime. I didn't engage with the outside world except as necessary. While I still game and watch anime, I don't do it to withdraw from the world. I do it to relax. And I do a lot less.

I would examine your life seriously. What are your goals? How are your relationships? What do you want to do?

What finally brought me out was when I decided to go back to school. I had a dream and a goal, and I decided to persue it. It was that I was finally taking care of myself. I have my own intellectual and, for lack of a better term, spiritual needs.

Left · Mar 5, 2017

"What are your goals?"

1. Land a good job.
2. Preach.
3. Get smarter

"How are your relationships?"

Okay but the more time I spend on them, the worse they seem to get.

"What do you want to do?"

Go to heaven. (Not right now though haha.)

rockytopva · Mar 5, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
"What are your goals?"

1. Land a good job.
2. Preach.
3. Get smarter

"How are your relationships?"

Okay but the more time I spend on them, the worse they seem to get.

"What do you want to do?"

Go to heaven. (Not right now though haha.)

Preparing yourself for ministry....

S.O.J.I.A. · Mar 5, 2017

if you want to be more of a social person then you should take the steps necessary for that to happen. if not, then don't.

don't allow people to shame you into doing something you don't want to do but don't deny yourself the things you desire either. take the initiative, but do it because you want to do it and not because you think you're supposed to.

Left · Mar 5, 2017

I guess what I'm saying is, I want time to myself, but as time passes, the world changes around me. I am scared of change. And change introduces new good things usually, like a family of your own or a new baby, but it also introduces heartache and nostalgia, like a family member dieing or missing the "old days" looking back on them. In reality I can probably handle change because it tends to come slowly, but in my mind when I think about it all, it's pretty overwhelming. Do you ever get that feeling?

S.O.J.I.A. · Mar 5, 2017

personally, such feelings don't bother me any, but if they bother you then you need to ask why and what you should do about it. maybe it's a sign that the life you're living isn't the life you want and that you need to make changes.

Left · Mar 5, 2017

THE W said:
personally, such feelings don't bother me any, but if they bother you then you need to ask why and what you should do about it. maybe it's a sign that the life you're living isn't the life you want and that you need to make changes.

Then how do I make a change in such a way that I feel positive not holding onto the past/present? Just try to advance my life and fill myself with happy thoughts?

S.O.J.I.A. · Mar 5, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
Then how do I make a change in such a way that I feel positive not holding onto the past/present? Just try to advance my life and fill myself with happy thoughts?

why are you holding on to the past and the present if doing this is negative for you? what do you feel you cannot let go of and why?

all questions you need to be asking yourself.

rockytopva · Mar 5, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
"What are your goals?"

1. Land a good job.
2. Preach.
3. Get smarter

"How are your relationships?"

Okay but the more time I spend on them, the worse they seem to get.

"What do you want to do?"

Go to heaven. (Not right now though haha.)

26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
29 That no flesh should glory in his presence. - 1 Corinthians 1

I believe you would make a good lady evangelist if God called you for that purpose!

Left · Mar 5, 2017

rockytopva said:
I believe you would make a good lady evangelist if God called you for that purpose!

I'm a man?

rockytopva · Mar 5, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
I'm a man?

Gentleman evangelist then, apologies.

Left · Mar 5, 2017

rockytopva said:
Gentleman evangelist then, apologies.

Nothing gentle about me.

(I'm just bored and ribbing tonight. I see what you mean though and thanks for the comments.)

ananda · Mar 6, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
I spend a lot of time at the computer and reading books. You could say I sometimes use them as a form of escapism. But time is also limited in life. So I might escape my life so much, that pretty soon, I will be old and all my family will be gone - you never know when someone is going to get cancer, etc.

I'm torn on what to do. I have a love/hate relationship with most of my family. The "hate" part comes in in that there's a lot of conflict and I end up finding it better to get another hobby than to pay much time with them. The "love" part comes in in that deep down, I always want them around, to be with them. Because I wouldn't know life as it is without them.

What are your thoughts on such matters of faith? Should we spend as much time possible with our families? Or just be a bit more introverted/reserved and focus on ourselves? Is it best to strike a balance?

Isn't it really just all about dukkha/suffering?

GrowingSmaller · Mar 6, 2017

Sounds like you would be happy if you weren't so guilty. relax.

Earatha · Mar 6, 2017

TheoryofForms said:
Then how do I make a change in such a way that I feel positive not holding onto the past/present? Just try to advance my life and fill myself with happy thoughts?

Accept that loss and pain are inevitable. Accept that everything you have is transient and secondary to your self and your goals. Stuff is meaningless. You are not. The most precious thing in your possession is your life, your mind, your dreams.

Change is hard. And it's going to involve pain. Most likely a lot of it. But if it's what you want then it is worth it. It is better to really live feeling the pain and joy than to stay in a virtual world feeling numbed despair.

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