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Distraught-----------

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NewSong

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This past Wednesday was my Birthday, not just any birthday but my 50th birthday. I always make a big deal out of celebrating family and friends birthday's by taking them to dinner, having a party, card shower or something and needless to say, I did not even receive a birthday cake. I am very hurt.

So then I go to the ladies retreat with my church.. and I got my bed all made up and came back to find the ladies officers in there giving my bed away and left me to sleep on a couch with no privacy and being told off because I couldn't believe that it was happening. They feel so right and I feel so violated. None of them could say Happy Birthday either. I went to my pastors wife and told her how violated I felt and hurt and she laughed it off. It is no laughing matter to me.

I am in this depression since it all has been happening and feel that I have been hurt by family, "friends" and church family and it hurts. I have no desire to come out of my shell and let anyone get close to me again. I am very hurt.

Where is GOD in all this and why GOD? I am so hurt.
 

thenewageriseth

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Wow, that is so sad. It makes me angry that ppl take advantage and use others like that! I am so sorry that happened to you. When was your birthday by the way? I feel you fa real. It has been hard to let anyone get close to me, before. Cause I have been hurt and it's no picnic to forgive those who have hurt me like that idiot Aaron I had a crush on...him and his personal space... Stinking bigshot that he is LOL
 
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NewSong

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You know I am so blessed by the CF forum and now this thread has blessed me too. I no sooner posted this and my brother called me up to take me out to eat. Then I got to speak to my daughter ...It has been one emotionally rough week and I think I am blatting over everything but I got a laugh out of the cake and the bed here and I have been so blessed by the encouragement here. Thank you so much.

 
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NewSong

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Well the birthday part got better and us women all made up and I am through whining and yet for some reason, I need a little extra TLC but I don't know why. I know those things hurt but I also know that I am ready to move on and to forgive and love regardless. I am tired of being a bad Christian and blaming my attitudes on someone else because I react so badly inside. Thanks for being there.
 
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NewSong

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Thank you so much for the posts and letting me unload. It was a rather difficult birthday and yesterday I finally got around to being thankful after several days of feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it is my new job that brought the awareness of what a true orphan is. I work for a foster care, delinquent, and orphanage for youth and some stories are absolutely heartbreaking. I do not have their stories. I have family that either couldn't be here to help celebrate or was just a wee late in helping celebrate but I know they love me regardless. So now I am thinking of perhaps that I am thankful that I am not one of my clients.
 
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Jimmy West

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Newsong, my wonderful friend. I just don't know what to say. I can't even count the number of times I've prayed for you. For whatever reason, God is obviously ignoring and neglecting our prayers for your healing and deliverance. When I ask him why, he tells me that he is testing you. I told him that when testing becomes destructive, it may be time to back off. I know you are on the verge of throwing in the towel. I know you can not take any more. I pray that god will hear my prayers this time, for I believe your testing is finished. Why is he testing you? He may have a special plan for you. I stand in for you and take on your burden. Most Heavenly Father, I pray for my friend, Newsong, once again. I believe that she is a child of high spiritual character. I believe that she has given her life to you, 100%, mind body and spirit. I believe thet she wants to live to be a blessing to you. I believe that she loves you with a love of unending magnitude. Sweet Lord, I pray for her complete deliverance, healing and restoration. I rebuke Satan and his curse on her body and mind. I pronounce healing to her mind and body in the name of Jesus. Please Lord, hear our cries. Please hear our pleas. Please know that we are your loving children and as such are asking our Father for all of the Love, kindness and mercy that he has. I pray this in the Name of Jesus, to The Father, Amen!!
 
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NewSong

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Thank you Jimmy for your prayers. I am indeed overwhelmed and going through a lot. Tonight am so sick that I could just curl up in a corner if I didn't feel so bad and forget about anything else. I, am so concerned with my dad, as you know and I want his results to turn out favorably on Tuesday when the doctor tells him his results of the CT and PET scan. I want to hear my dad has been healed of cancer and that he and mom will be together and well.

So tired of being sick and afflicted.

Thank you special brother for your encouragement.

NewSong
 
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