Differences between Presbyterian (PCA) & United Methodist?

Albion · Mar 29, 2017

Lily5 said:
Any other church suggestions are welcome. PCA and United Methodist are ones that I know are very nearby, so that's why I was mostly looking into them at the moment.

I was wondering about that, but whenever that kind of question gets asked, it puts us in an awkward situation because we don't know what other churches you might consider. How far you'd think it reasonable to drive, and so on. Or certain doctrines or worship practices you'd definitely not go for. If you have several other possibilities besides the PCA and UMC, do mention them and we'll see.

chevyontheriver · Mar 29, 2017

Lily5 said:
Excuse my ignorance, I didn't know what the Benedict Option was so I googled it and briefly read this page (https://world.wng.org/2015/06/rod_dreher_explains_the_benedict_option). The problems with America (for example, gay marriage) is partially why I want to get involved and involve my daughter in the church. I am unsure how the Benedict Option can help decide on a church, but I think a church that agrees with the school of thought I read in the article is one I want to be a part of.

The idea for it came from the last lines of a seminal book by philosopher Alisdair MacIntyre named 'After Virtue'. He closed the book wondering if we were at the beginning of a new dark ages where the old Benedictine monks preserved the best of Greco-Roman civilization and helped to give birth to the European civilization. How could that work again? We know that the gates of hell will not prevail against the Church. We also know things could look very different from what they look like now. Change is upon us. What do we do to be faithful to Jesus? The Benedict option is one idea.

People discuss how the Benedict option can best be implemented. Some say to go out and find a monastery in a rural area and move next door and start farming. Others say something can be done right in the big city. Lots of variations and angles. Some are politically engaging and others promote disengagement. Rod Dreher is the guy that wrote the book on the 'Benedict Option' so watching for conversations by him or about him will let you see how all of this is developing.

My parish has no particular stated opinion about the Benedict Option even though many many Catholics are talking and thinking about it. The ND and UM congregations (or the PCA or some other one) might or might not have a stated opinion about it. But if you ask the pastor and they are clueless or maybe even hostile to the need to resist the dominant culture it might be a bit of a red flag. If they engage with a different version of the Benedict Option, fine, you have found a place with a living faith. The question then is can they actually preserve it in that particular community.

Here are some variants of the Benedict option, and of course you can always spin your own: Benedict & the Omnibus of Options

Lily5 · Mar 29, 2017

There is a nearby Baptist (SBC) church. I haven't looked too much into them because they don't have a site so I don't know anything about them. I also went to a youth group occasionally in high school in a baptist church and didn't feel very well connected. It may have just been the group though. It was also a number of years ago.

Albion · Mar 29, 2017

Lily5 said:
There is a nearby Baptist (SBC) church. I haven't looked too much into them because they don't have a site so I don't know anything about them. I also went to a youth group occasionally in high school in a baptist church and didn't feel very well connected. It may have just been the group though. It was also a number of years ago.

They definitely wouldn't approve of baptizing your child and would consider all the other family members' baptisms to be invalid. Also, they would consider the Lord's Supper to be only a symbol. IOW, I see some problem areas there for you and your family based upon what you've told us so far. So maybe you should just study up on the PCA and attend a couple of services there and see what that tells you before putting too much on your plate right now.

Big Drew · Mar 29, 2017

Lily5 said:
Hello! My husband and I live very close to a Presbyterian (PCA) church and a United Methodist church and are thinking about visiting each.

Can anyone explain the main differences?

Others have done a good job of explaining the differences...I can say from personal experience that I've felt more welcomed in a UMC church than a Presbyterian...but, that doesn't necessarily speak for the denomination as a whole as it does for the particular congregations.

If you don't mind me asking, what is it that has made your husband and you want to leave the traditional churches you were raised in? I would think, in order for us to help you find a home we'd first have to know what it was about the previous one you didn't like.

Lily5 · Apr 2, 2017

Just wanted to give an update.

We went to a completely different denomination than discussed in this thread because the church site said there was a room for families with young children to watch the service without disrupting others. It's been very hard to keep our little one quiet and still during church so we wanted to check it out. It turns out they actually didn't have that space though. She was fussing part way through and we just left. I felt horrible disrupting the service.

Albion · Apr 2, 2017

Thanks for the update. I don't know how this church you visited can rationalize advertising a "cry room" and then not actually having one. That's sure to take them out of consideration for any visitor with children who trusted that there was one, all considerations of such matters as good preaching or sound doctrine aside.

Lily5 · Apr 3, 2017

The site says there's an area where families can go with children and watch the service on a tv. I saw the room there but no tv was on. The church seemed nice but my daughter would not sit still or be quiet so we decided to leave 45 minutes in.

There's a church somewhat nearby that does have a "cry room" (I asked them about it) so we may try there.

I wish churches around here had better options for young children. I don't want to take her to the nursery but I also don't want her interrupting worship for everyone else.

chevyontheriver · Apr 3, 2017

Lily5 said:
The site says there's an area where families can go with children and watch the service on a tv. I saw the room there but no tv was on. The church seemed nice but my daughter would not sit still or be quiet so we decided to leave 45 minutes in.

There's a church somewhat nearby that does have a "cry room" (I asked them about it) so we may try there.

I wish churches around here had better options for young children. I don't want to take her to the nursery but I also don't want her interrupting worship for everyone else.

We had a 'nursery' for a while but don't do that any more. We do have a large atrium with a closed circuit TV, which works for overflow and for unhappy loud children. The pastoral attitude is that children are not a problem in the church and that others should just get used to it and not be snobs. A modicum of fussing is simply tolerated, but a full bore screaming child can be walked out to the atrium.

I've seen other places with almost soundproofed glass rooms. Others who insist on a nursery. I kind of like the expectation we have that children are a part of the community even if they make some noise.

I do remember my own children and the challenge it was. We did avail ourselves of the 'nursery' not always but often enough when it existed. Now I think other people should just get used to the idea of children in church and all that entails. They are part of the community.

Lily5 · Apr 3, 2017

chevyontheriver said:
We had a 'nursery' for a while but don't do that any more. We do have a large atrium with a closed circuit TV, which works for overflow and for unhappy loud children. The pastoral attitude is that children are not a problem in the church and that others should just get used to it and not be snobs. A modicum of fussing is simply tolerated, but a full bore screaming child can be walked out to the atrium.

I've seen other places with almost soundproofed glass rooms. Others who insist on a nursery. I kind of like the expectation we have that children are a part of the community even if they make some noise.

I do remember my own children and the challenge it was. We did avail ourselves of the 'nursery' not always but often enough when it existed. Now I think other people should just get used to the idea of children in church and all that entails. They are part of the community.

I agree with you, but I feel uncomfortable disrupting service, especially as a visitor.

All churches seem to have a nursery for infants but I'm not going to leave my young child there. I usually stay with her during service then leave partway through to go to the nursery with her, and then my husband is left in service without us. I don't like our family being split.

chevyontheriver · Apr 3, 2017

Lily5 said:
I agree with you, but I feel uncomfortable disrupting service, especially as a visitor.

All churches seem to have a nursery for infants but I'm not going to leave my young child there. I usually stay with her during service then leave partway through to go to the nursery with her, and then my husband is left in service without us. I don't like our family being split.

It's an uncomfortable time of life, and if you are going to have multiple children the issue will go on for many years. So solving this is actually a big deal. A place that welcomes little noisemakers is probably better than one that insists on adults only worship.

Albion · Apr 3, 2017

Lily5 said:
I agree with you, but I feel uncomfortable disrupting service, especially as a visitor.

All churches seem to have a nursery for infants but I'm not going to leave my young child there. I usually stay with her during service then leave partway through to go to the nursery with her, and then my husband is left in service without us. I don't like our family being split.

I think you're right about that, so you're probably well-served by making your search a careful one, including finding a congregation that does have a cry room. Usually, this will mean 1) a fairly large and relatively new building, and 2) a denomination that doesn't have the mindset that says the children should be mixed in with the adults at all times and under all circumstances as a matter of principle.

There are also some churches which make it a policy to have the little ones be in the sanctuary during worship but then taken out en masse to something like Sunday School or what they may call "Children's church." Or, alternately, kept together in Sunday School UNTIL some part of the main worship service occurs and then be brought back into the sanctuary to be with their parents.

Lily5 · Apr 3, 2017

Even if a church says children are welcome in worship, I don't feel comfortable being there while she's squirming/making noise, and playing the "leave and come back" game has been exhausting. The churches we have visited usually have no children during worship or few (1-2) very little babies because of the use of the nursery. It actually makes me dislike that all the churches have a nursery! Personally, I would prefer the "cry room" that we can step into and not feel uncomfortable about her making a bit of noise while still hearing/seeing the service.

Dave-W · Apr 26, 2017

IMO you would probably be more comfortable with the Methodist church. I have seen from other posts of yours that you have a Catholic background. I think the doctrines and "feeling" of Reform Calvinism in the Presby churches would be very unsettling.

You could post this question in both the Presbyterian and Wesley folders to get a more detailed description.

Lily5 · Apr 26, 2017

I actually quite liked the PCA church because of the conservatism. But after a lot of prayer, I decided I would like to go back to the Catholic Church. It's going to be a tough road with my husband as he is resistant (and will definitely not convert).

Albion · Apr 26, 2017

It's a tough road, as you said, but there are couples for whom it works, and I hope it does for you as well.

Padres1969 · May 9, 2017

chevyontheriver said:
We had a 'nursery' for a while but don't do that any more. We do have a large atrium with a closed circuit TV, which works for overflow and for unhappy loud children. The pastoral attitude is that children are not a problem in the church and that others should just get used to it and not be snobs. A modicum of fussing is simply tolerated, but a full bore screaming child can be walked out to the atrium.

I've seen other places with almost soundproofed glass rooms. Others who insist on a nursery. I kind of like the expectation we have that children are a part of the community even if they make some noise.

I do remember my own children and the challenge it was. We did avail ourselves of the 'nursery' not always but often enough when it existed. Now I think other people should just get used to the idea of children in church and all that entails. They are part of the community.

Honestly this is one of the things that appealed to me about my parish. Our Dean takes the view that children's noise is "joyful" noise and it is most welcome. But if a parent does feel the need to remove the upset child from the church they pipe all the vocals to the church courtyard. And beyond that they have a nursery for those who want to remove their children completely from the equation. Having all three options has made attending mass a breeze as far as having little ones goes.

Padres1969 · May 9, 2017

Lily5 said:
I actually quite liked the PCA church because of the conservatism. But after a lot of prayer, I decided I would like to go back to the Catholic Church. It's going to be a tough road with my husband as he is resistant (and will definitely not convert).

Would your husband partake of Catholic Communion? My understanding is that the RCC does not object to Orthodox partaking of Catholic communion (even if the GO would object). Your husband might find the situation a bit awkward long term if he isn't at least willing to partake in communion bein that he'd essentially be excluding himself from 50% of the mass.

I saw this weigh on my dad for years as he is Catholic but hasn't been to confession for about 40 years and as an "unforgiven" Catholic he wouldn't take communion and eventually just stopped going.

Differences between Presbyterian (PCA) & United Methodist?

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