Dealbreakers

Antonin · May 10, 2009

My past, and tendency towards depression.

I also enjoy thinking more than I enjoy actually doing (most) things. So I'd rather debate politics than play soccer together, or something. Most people are the exact opposite.

Wren · May 10, 2009

BeckyH said:
I wish that I hadn't made this thread, seems kind of negative to me lol. Sorry guys.

I like this thread. I think it's a good thing to look at what about ourselves might be an issue for others. It's also nice to maybe get feedback from others on what you've listed as deal breakers.

People focus so much on what are deal breakers for themselves (i.e. what's important to them), but it's a good idea to take a good look at yourself (and see what may be important for others) when it comes to dating too. It doesn't have to be sad/depressing. Or maybe I just like to analyze things too much

Stravinsk · May 10, 2009

Oh Gee...time to feel bad about myself and future prospects. Ok..

In the generally bad/turn off catagory:

I smoke (though plan to quit)
I drink alcohol (a little too often and too excess sometimes)

In the *I don't think these are bad, I don't care, though they may be a deal breaker for some*

I have a low income job(though I meet my own needs from it and don't struggle)
I'm very picky about what I eat - semi health nut/enthusiast
I spend a good deal of time writing and playing music
I'm a Sabbath Keeper and am leaning towards keeping the Feasts as well - which puts me at odds with alot of Christians.

Edit: May be a major deal breaker for some, but unless I can be absolutely sure the female is not a materialist or wants expensive,unnecessary things that she cannot aquire on her own steam - I'd likely ask for a pre-nup. I don't fancy broken vows and infidelity (which is the only time a pre-nup takes effect) to be a way to grab what I do have in the way of assets *that she had no part in working for/aquiring prior to our life together*. I'd have no problem signing one myself if the situation were reversed - and I don't want to be one of those men who has to work an extra 20 years because he lost his place to an adulterous woman who is now copulating in it with some other man.

_sunshinegirl · May 10, 2009

I also don't want to bare children, so I know there are men out there that find the a "deal breaker".

Tinkerbell33 · May 10, 2009

- I am a vegetarian.
- I am into animal rights.
- From a low income family.
- No job, not yet anyway.
- Still in education.
- My mum has mild bi-polar and some guys might not be able to cope with that but they would be dating me and not her so shouldn't be a big problem. She is mostly fine now anyway.
- I am a christian trying to commit my life to God.
- I am quiet, like to think before I speak.

Wren · May 10, 2009

BeckyH said:
- I am a vegetarian.
- I am into animal rights.
- From a low income family.
- No job, not yet anyway.
- Still in education.
- My mum has mild bi-polar and some guys might not be able to cope with that but they would be dating me and not her so shouldn't be a big problem. She is mostly fine now anyway.
- I am a christian trying to commit my life to God.
- I am quiet, like to think before I speak.

I'm not a guy, but at 20 years old, I think it's perfectly normal for you to be in school and not have a job. However, now that I think about it, at 30 years old that may be looked down on.

Pyrogenesis · May 10, 2009

I'm of the opinion that one person's deal-breaker is another person's deal-maker For example, Windmill's sarcasm and 'lite debates', both great traits.

I have a militant mindset, I like heavy metal, I spend too much time on the computer, I work a 12 hour night shift, I occasionally smoke cigars. Heck, I'm probably too rebellious according to some and too serious about God according to others!

As I sit here having a meat pie and a bourbon and coke for breakfast at midday, it occurs to me that I am unashamedly me

Niels · May 10, 2009

My political views aren't aligned with a party platform, I'm more interested in core concepts than random facts, my hair isn't that great, some of my hobbies and interests are nerdy, I'm a Christian, and I couldn't care less whether so-and-so wears makeup or not.

Of course, to the right woman, these things won't be dealbreakers.

Tinkerbell33 · May 10, 2009

Historia said:
I'm not a guy, but at 20 years old, I think it's perfectly normal for you to be in school and not have a job. However, now that I think about it, at 30 years old that may be looked down on.

Thanks, I guess it is normal and my education will get me the job I want (hopefully :o...there is no guarantee after all).

Any guy who looks down on you for learning about a subject you are passionate about, building towards a future and for pursuing your interests is not worth knowing.

Lots of people go back into education later on because it takes a while for them to figure out what they want to do.

Wren · May 10, 2009

Miles said:
My political views don't line up with a party platform, I'm more interested in core concepts than random facts, some of my interests are nerdy, I'm a Christian, and I couldn't care less whether so-and-so wears makeup or not.

Of course, to the right woman, these things won't be dealbreakers.

Are you saying that it might be a deal breaker if you don't care if a woman wears makeup?
I would think that a lot of women would like that. It leaves the decision up to them and they wouldn't feel pressured one way or the other. When I first saw that statement I wanted to post this >, definitely not a deal breaker for me.

mina · May 10, 2009

i'm quiet
i have a hearing loss in one ear and don't like being in crowds b/c i can't hear and it bothers me.
Sometimes i can be negative when i get discouraged.
i have a weird nose.
my job doesn't excite me and i don't care enough to pursue something else- it's just a paycheck to me.
i'm a homebody.
i'm thin
i don't drink
i'm a Christian.
I can be lazy.
i'm old fashioned.
I like antiques and vintage anything.
i don't stay up with current music, or celebrities.
i can be sarcastic.
i hate talking on the phone for long periods of time.
i'm thrifty and shop at Goodwill- i know some people that have a problem with that.
i try to act like a lady.
i'm artsy fartsy.
i can be critical and detail oriented.
I read entirely too much- books have completely ruined my disposition.

trentlogain2 · May 10, 2009

Absolutely not. I have more flaws than I could ever imagine. Space Angel said it before I did though.

Niels · May 10, 2009

Historia said:
Are you saying that it might be a deal breaker if you don't care if a woman wears makeup?
I would think that a lot of women would like that. It leaves the decision up to them and they wouldn't feel pressured one way or the other. When I first saw that statement I wanted to post this >, definitely not a deal breaker for me.

What I meant was that I don't put much weight on how others choose to adorn their bodies. That would certainly include my significant other. It wouldn't be a dealbreaker if she went without makeup, but it also wouldn't be a dealbreaker if she dyed her hair bright purple and slathered on the eyeliner. Some Christians come across as self-appointed style police, confusing personal taste with moral conviction. Those types wouldn't get along with me for long... even though my personal style is fairly ordinary. Basically, this pet peeve of mine might be a dealbreaker for some, especially in Christian circles.

Tinkerbell33 · May 10, 2009

mina said:
i'm quiet
i have a hearing loss in one ear and don't like being in crowds b/c i can't hear and it bothers me.
Sometimes i can be negative when i get discouraged.
i have a weird nose.
my job doesn't excite me.
i'm a homebody.
i'm thin
i don't drink
i'm a Christian.
I can be lazy.
i'm old fashioned.
I like antiques and vintage anything.
i don't stay up with current music, or celebrities.
i can be sarcastic.
i hate talking on the phone for long periods of time.
i'm thrifty and shop at Goodwill- i know some people that have a problem with that.
i try to act like a lady.

Same here but I think some of these are good points. Guys want to date a woman who acts like a lady with polite manners.

I hate long telephone conversation, I am hardly ever in the mood for them. If I phone my best friend its to arrange something and to ask how her day was but I don't want to be there on the phone for an hour talking about things that we could just say in person.

Tinkerbell33 · May 10, 2009

trentlogain2 said:
Absolutely not. I have more flaws than I could ever imagine. Space Angel said it before I did though.

Everyone has flaws, join the club!

I am sure that you have some good points though.

mina · May 10, 2009

BeckyH said:
Same here but I think some of these are good points. Guys want to date a woman who acts like a lady with polite manners.

I hate long telephone conversation, I am hardly ever in the mood for them. If I phone my best friend its to arrange something and to ask how her day was but I don't want to be there on the phone for an hour talking about things that we could just say in person.

I don't know; being ladylike and having manners doesn't seem to work for me , lol. I think some people think i'm prissy, but that's not what i aim for. I just try to treat people and myself nice.
yeah i hear ya. I don't think I open up on the phone- it takes real face to face interaction to make me feel relaxed and myself with someone. I have a hard time just talking on the phone constantly. But with some people it just works on the phone with me, so i guess it depends who it is.

Stravinsk · May 10, 2009

mina said:
i'm quiet
i have a hearing loss in one ear and don't like being in crowds b/c i can't hear and it bothers me.
Sometimes i can be negative when i get discouraged.
i have a weird nose.
my job doesn't excite me and i don't care enough to pursue something else- it's just a paycheck to me.
i'm a homebody.
i'm thin
i don't drink
i'm a Christian.
I can be lazy.
i'm old fashioned.
I like antiques and vintage anything.
i don't stay up with current music, or celebrities.
i can be sarcastic.
i hate talking on the phone for long periods of time.
i'm thrifty and shop at Goodwill- i know some people that have a problem with that.
i try to act like a lady.
i'm artsy fartsy.
i can be critical and detail oriented.
I read entirely too much- books have completely ruined my disposition.

None of what you listed would be a dealbreaker for me, though the ones in bold would depend on what degree. The ones in blue I consider positive.

Thunder Peel · May 10, 2009

BeckyH said:
Everyone has flaws, join the club!

I am sure that you have some good points though.

Is this a thread where we can list our flaws? Because if so, I'm not sure there's enough space here to list all of mine.

Sketcher · May 10, 2009

In response to the OP: Heck yes.

puffca · May 10, 2009

mina said:
i'm quiet
i have a hearing loss in one ear and don't like being in crowds b/c i can't hear and it bothers me.
Sometimes i can be negative when i get discouraged.
i have a weird nose.
my job doesn't excite me and i don't care enough to pursue something else- it's just a paycheck to me.
i'm a homebody.
i'm thin
i don't drink
i'm a Christian.
I can be lazy.
i'm old fashioned.
I like antiques and vintage anything.
i don't stay up with current music, or celebrities.
i can be sarcastic.
i hate talking on the phone for long periods of time.
i'm thrifty and shop at Goodwill- i know some people that have a problem with that.
i try to act like a lady.
i'm artsy fartsy.
i can be critical and detail oriented.
I read entirely too much- books have completely ruined my disposition.

BeckyH said:
Same here but I think some of these are good points. Guys want to date a woman who acts like a lady with polite manners.

I hate long telephone conversation, I am hardly ever in the mood for them. If I phone my best friend its to arrange something and to ask how her day was but I don't want to be there on the phone for an hour talking about things that we could just say in person.

Stravinsk said:
None of what you listed would be a dealbreaker for me, though the ones in bold would depend on what degree. The ones in blue I consider positive.

Mina, I think you should wrap up what you wrote, walk out of the door, turn right, there's a positive thread there, and you can dump all of them to that thread without changing one single word.
(Yeah, including the "being lazy" claim. Who knows how annoying an "unlazy" woman would be like.)

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