Dating with Different Denominations

Patrick Bateman said:

That sounds like quite the position to be in and I imagine it's very difficult.

One thing to consider that may be of comfort is that no matter who you date, I highly doubt you're ever going to find someone that believes every single theological nuance that you believe. And that's okay. But, like you have highlighted, there will be fundamental theological differences that we hold for good reason and if we hold them because we believe them to be true then it's only natural and right to hope our partner feels the same way.

I think you may need to sit down with him and have a serious discussion about where you both are theologically and how that may affect your relationship now and in the future.

Consider, for example, you have children. He seemingly affirms and would expect the child be baptised. You seemingly affirm and would expect the child take credo or 'Believer's Baptism' when they're of an age where they can in sound mind profess their faith in Christ.

That alone is something that could cause huge arguments and suffering to one party because it will ultimately result in someone compromising on a fundamental belief and worst of all, it involves the child.

It's probably not going to be nice, but yes, I suggest you sit down, put all of your cards on the table and discuss exactly where you are, where you want to be and how your theological differences can and do affect you now and how they will affect you in the future as well as potential children.

He is a man and that comes with huge responsibility, as does being a woman in marriage. He's to be the spiritual head and provide you and any family you have together with spiritual leadership. You're to be submissive to him.

Some food for thought. I'll be praying for you.

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DaveW-Ohev said:

I suggest you go over to the Wesley's Parish folder and ask this question of either Circuit Rider or RomansFiveEight. They are both United Methodist pastors. They may be able to give you some specific guidance on this.

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Soyeong said:

Hello,

I think in the life of everyone who grows up as a Christian there becomes a point where it becomes their religion rather than the religion of their parents, usually around the time when it becomes their decision about whether to continue attending church. It is important for everyone to be willing to investigate their beliefs to determine whether the things that they believe are really true, especially with beliefs that are most important to us. I think the reason why many Christians lose their faith when they go off to college is that they had only been taught what to believe, not why to believe it, and they are unprepared to defend their beliefs when challenged.

So I think it is important for you to be willing to investigate your own beliefs and choose to continue to be a Methodist because you have good reasons to think that it is the most correct denomination. Don't just look at non-denominational churches, but use this as an opportunity to investigate other denominations to learn why they believe certain things differently than you do, and try to determine as objectively as you can whether they have any merit. I grew up attending a Baptist church for 30 years, but eventually switched to Messianic Judaism because I was willing to undergo such an investigation and found that some of the things that I had believed were wrong.

Naturally things would go much smoother if you were both willing to undergo this sort of investigation. I can completely understand him not wanting to break from the denomination of his family, but I again stress the importance of making it his own religion rather than just what he was taught to believe growing up. Sadly, not everyone is at the stage where they can do this and some respond poorly when they are pushed in this direction. I always recommend that every couple sees a Christian marriage counselor before they get married even if everything is going fine, but especially if there is a problem, because there are many things that you might not even think of that are better to iron out beforehand than in the moment. They way to baptize potential children is a big one, but they should also be able to help you work through other related issues.

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