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Dad died 6 months ago

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Abiel

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I feel incredibly sad, but I just can't seem to let it out. Everyone else seems to have a greater need, a bigger problem- it never seems to be my turn. I am not allowed to behave out of character. I have to be kind, polite, caring- when in fact I feel none of the above. I listen to people's difficulties with sympathy- yet my heart screams out 'what about me?' I feel like I am dying inside.
 

meh

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Abiel, I lift you up to the Lord. My father died three years ago. I remember when it was six months. The grief was almost unbearable. I, too, had held everything in to be strong for my mother...trying to be the strong one during the arrangements and afterwards. One day, I had to let it out. I actually sort of beat up a pillow while sobbing. I cried out to God, I cried out to my dad, I let it out. It was cathartic.

I don't think you have to behave in any certain way. People must be allowed breathing room while in the midst of grief.

I am praying for you. And I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
 
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praying

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I know exactly how you feel. To always be on the giving end and expected to act a certain way and be a certian way. It can be very trying

Prayers and hugs for you.
 
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Ruth~

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I'm very sorry for your loss. Maybe you can take some time for yourself and be alone in your room or favorite spot. That's what I did and I had a good cry. I need to do more of that, too, I just lost my dad, too.

When my mom died I used to talk to her while taking a bubble bath and crying. It helped to do something good for me.

You deserve to heal and be heard, too. God bless you.
 
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daredheaded1

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Abiel,

I lost my father March 12th of this year. Though no one can ever know exactly how you feel, I do empathize with you. I was diagnosed with MS a few weeks before Dad died, and I haven't really even been able to let myself come to grips with that as I have been doing what is expected of a good daughter. I'm taking care of my Mom & such.

Try not to be too disappointed in your Mom. My mother had a very hard time on Father's Day even though he wasn't her father...he was the father of her children & it brought back memories of raising a family together.

I think that Father's Day really affected me, too. Only, it hit me the Wednesday before instead of on the actual day. I guess because I was helping my daughter pick out a gift for her Daddy and I realized it was the first time I wouldn't be.

I'm assuming you are an adult. What I really want to do is just disappear for a few days to allow myself to grieve. I'm thinking of renting a hotel room or a Bed & Breakfast room about an hour from home & just allowing myself to fall apart in private. Perhaps that would help you. I have to wait until I have the money to do it, but that's what I'm going to do.

I'm sure your family loves you and will understand that you need to just get away for a little while to yourself. If not, maybe you just need to do it anyway.

Know that I'm praying for you in your situation, and that others care about you. You won't be able to take care of everyone you love without caring for yourself...at least that's what my friends keep telling me!
 
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Ruth~

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Abiel, Losing a father is one of life's biggest losses. I am struggling with it, too. I can't seem to cry much. Tears come to my eyes but that's about it lately. I feel very sad that he is gone. I miss him. Give yourself time to sort it all out and allow yourself to feel your feelings whenever you can. I have to tell myself the same thing, in fact.
 
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