Crying

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 19, 2012

Lately I've been crying a lot. I know I haven't worked through a lot of feelings I have had from the rape. I can't hold it back though anymore. It's all just flooding over me and I can't help it. It feels so awful though. During the rape I started to cry and my attacker told me if I didn't stop crying he would hurt me more. Crying has not been okay since. Its been a almost 3 years since I was raped, but its still not okay.

NoddaProbBob · Apr 20, 2012

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way right now. Though my abuser didn't tell me I couldn't cry as yours did, plenty of other people in my life have made it clear that crying is not ok. I used to believe that lie but not anymore. I can remember growing up and making a mistake and as I was being scolded I would begin to cry. At my reaction, I got scolded even more. For crying. I hated that. I couldn't control that my natural reaction was to cry. But eventually I lost the ability to cry at all. After being condemned for so long about something my body was supposed to do, I couldn't physically cry anymore and it left me very empty. Now, 10 years later, I'm finally crying again. And sometimes, it sucks. After I gave up self injury I found that I started to feel things. Instead of eliminating my feelings with a cut I was forced to feel everything and I went through a period of about a week in which I cried all day everyday. So I guess my advice is to let yourself feel. Your feelings are more than valid and important. Crying is a way of expressing these things. You need to relearn that this is ok. There is much courage in allowing yourself to feel the things that you're enduring. Give yourself credit for the strides you've made. It is truly ok to cry.

joey_downunder · Apr 20, 2012

STAYING_STRONG4HIM said:
Lately I've been crying a lot. I know I haven't worked through a lot of feelings I have had from the rape. I can't hold it back though anymore. It's all just flooding over me and I can't help it. It feels so awful though. During the rape I started to cry and my attacker told me if I didn't stop crying he would hurt me more. Crying has not been okay since. Its been a almost 3 years since I was raped, but its still not okay.

I think you're getting STRONG. You're healing, the part of you that was so scared is losing its grip on you.

Now the part of you that knows he had no right over you, the righteous anger and deserved grief of what happened is coming alive as it should.

I pray that God gets you through this stage as gently and lovingly as possible, that you feel His peace and presence with you with you always.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 20, 2012

In my head...I know that crying is okay, but that lie that it isn't okay to cry is still there...and I know I still believe it. Lately I've been crying all the time though whether I believe its okay or not...it just comes. Feelings really are so so important. Just wish feeling didn't hurt so much.

NoddaProbBob · Apr 20, 2012

I agree. It would be nice if the pain wasn't so tough, but it is. I promise you, it takes much more strength to feel that pain than to feel nothing at all.
The only way to get through this is to go through it.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 20, 2012

I wish I felt as strong as people say I am. I feel s weak right now and so exhausted.

joey_downunder · Apr 20, 2012

It's a difficult process you're going through so no wonder you're feeling exhausted.

You are now in the middle of a tug-of-war between obeying that disgusting bully and giving yourself the rightful permission to express your emotions as is right for you.

Remember you have God on your side. He is on your team. That rapist will be defeated. Psalm 18.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 20, 2012

I got to see my best friend today for a couple minutes so at least that was nice. I have missed her a lot. Man o man, I am tired. hopefully I can sleep in tomorrow...some extra sleep would help.

paul1149 · Apr 22, 2012

Rest in the knowledge that God has you in the palms of His hands. He knows what you're going through and will not let you go.

Becoming re-sensitized is painful at times. It's like your leg recovering from falling asleep, as the blood rushes back in. Sometimes that can hurt a lot, but when you know it's temporary the perspective you gain calms you down and you get the victory "ahead of time".

It's the same way with repressed emotions springing back to life. It's overwhelming at first, but keep your perspective. It's part of the healing process. You are going to get through it, and on to victory. You are already overcoming as you go through the process.

Grace to you, and peace.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 25, 2012

Been having some really bad dreams. Haven't been doing well at all and now I'm havig trouble getting medications that I need. Life is so frustrating.

Johnnz · Apr 26, 2012

You need some help to associate your emotions with past events and how they affected you. Past pain is sort of 'seeping through' by way of dreams and tears. That need tracking down and resolving a bit better.

Bless you
John
NZ

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 26, 2012

I had a bad morning...my class this morning talked about rape and human trafficking and it was just way too much for me. I decided to go out with friends tonight thought it would help me feel better...I got some good laughs but at the same time some of my friends were joking about rape and I just really wasn't comfortable with that. I didn't say anything though because how could I? I know a lot of people joke around like it's not going to happen to them an such...but I wish they didn't have to joke about it around me. I just don't know how to tell them though.

RuthD · Apr 27, 2012

Sometimes people joke about stuff that is so tragic to avoid feeling bad about it. Most people feel bad about someone being raped. I am praying for you dear heart.

NoddaProbBob · Apr 29, 2012

I would challenge you to re-evaluate the people in which you associate. I understand that they may be more sensitive about rape if they were to know about your situation, but I think you put more harm on yourself if you continue to associate with these people. Rape is not a joke. Abuse is not a joke.
If you don't feel like you can break away from these people and feel as if they are essential to your circle of friends, then I challenge you further to just express your feelings to them about rape. You don't need to bring up your specific rape to them in order to do this. But I think it would be empowering for you to voice your opinion.

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 29, 2012

This particular friend that joked about it knew I was raped. and she knos I'm sensitive when it comes to that. I don't think she did it on purpose more like she forgot I was there. I tried to bring it up with her and she just didn't get it. I don't know what to do because me and her are close but lately I don't know. I feel alone enough as it is...I dont think losing one of my best friends is going to help.

NoddaProbBob · Apr 30, 2012

No, losing one of your closest friends isn't going to help. But, that being said, if she is a close friend then she needs to understand how that affects you. In my opinion, her response was not ok in joking about the rape. Since she knows, personally if it were me I would draw a clear and concise line by telling her that it bothered me. This gives her the chance to correct herself. I guess I'm just trying to convey that not talking to her about it isn't going to get you very far

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 30, 2012

I talked to her about it and she denied that she even joked about it. She DID joke about it. I told her I was upset that she would joke about something like that and she just denied the whole thing. REALLY?????? I don't even care anymore. It's over and done with...and if it happens again. I'm going to speak up immediately.

ldrkert4 · Apr 30, 2012

you need some good old joyce meyer. please check her out. she has dealt with this situation and is amazing. A true gift from god

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Apr 30, 2012

hmm...sounds interesting. I will have to check it out!

NoddaProbBob · May 1, 2012

ldrkert4 said:
you need some good old joyce meyer. please check her out. she has dealt with this situation and is amazing. A true gift from god

I recently began to follow Joyce Meyer on Twitter. I also went to Barnes and Noble and bought pretty much every book of hers on the shelf. She has so much to say. I am however cautious. I have a hard time following the whole "televangelist" thing. I am not a fan of Joel Olsteen or Rick Warren for reasons that don't belong on this specific thread. But that aside, I am very open to what Joyce Meyer has in her books. My problem with a lot of Christian self help books is that they state what must be done in order to alleviate whatever problem it is that is being talked about, but not how to do so. Whether it be subconciously or in the external, I think most people who seek self help books have an idea about what needs to be done for themselves, but have no starting point as to achieve the end goal. For example, obviously the Bible has instructed us that we must forgive as we have been forgiven. But I am hard pressed to find a Christian self help book covering such painful topics, like abuse, with a clear and concise way as to how we should forgive. I have found that this is not so much the case with my Joyce Meyer readings. At least not thus far. She is certainly worth looking into.

I talked to her about it and she denied that she even joked about it. She DID joke about it. I told her I was upset that she would joke about something like that and she just denied the whole thing. REALLY?????? I don't even care anymore. It's over and done with...and if it happens again. I'm going to speak up immediately.

I am so proud that you chose to speak to her. That denial is hard and I am sorry you experienced that. Good to have these bottom lines in case she conducts herself in this fashion again.
Though a specific quote comes to mind here, and it's just something to toss around in your head if you will.

"Standing your ground often means standing alone. But in standing alone, we become the most free"

I hope you're doing well today!

We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Crying

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

And step by step, You'll lead me...

big sister

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

And step by step, You'll lead me...

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

big sister

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

that your faith might rest in the power of God

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

Senior Veteran

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

blah blah blah

And step by step, You'll lead me...

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

And step by step, You'll lead me...

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

Newbie

Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

And step by step, You'll lead me...

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency