confused

poetry · Feb 23, 2005

I really need help. I have been a Christian for ten years. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a few months. I have abstained from any type of sexually relationship and felt very encouraged about this. One evening things got a little heated and we fell into sexual immorallity. I feel very discouraged about this and feel at times when the situated got heated that I voiced that I didn't think this was a good idea. I felt I wasn't listened too. I love and care about him greatly, but I feel we need to separate. Everything was going so well until this. I don't understand what happened. I felt that I could've married this man, but now I'm not sure what I should do. Help!

psalms 91 · Feb 23, 2005

no one can tell you, follow the leading of the spirit but i wouldnt throw away an otherwise good relationship because of guilt over sin, have you asked forgiveness and purposed not to do this again, then as far as god is concerned you are right with him. god bless and feel free to pm me if you want to talk further. welcome to cf

Organist · Feb 23, 2005

It sounds as though the guy does not respect your wishes, and so therefore not a good relationship. If he would do that, he may do other things too. You better have a good heart to heart talk with him, and if he is not open to your wishes, then it would be better to separate, and get right with God again.

Sweet Pea · Feb 23, 2005

Welcome to Christian Forums

Chrystal-J · Feb 23, 2005

Hello & Welcome to Christian Forums!

ysl_75 · Feb 23, 2005

poetry said:
I really need help. I have been a Christian for ten years. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a few months. I have abstained from any type of sexually relationship and felt very encouraged about this. One evening things got a little heated and we fell into sexual immorallity. I feel very discouraged about this and feel at times when the situated got heated that I voiced that I didn't think this was a good idea. I felt I wasn't listened too. I love and care about him greatly, but I feel we need to separate. Everything was going so well until this. I don't understand what happened. I felt that I could've married this man, but now I'm not sure what I should do. Help!

Well, I think that maybe you should pray before making any decision ya..

LiekTotally · Feb 23, 2005

You're going to hell. God hates you.

LiekTotally · Feb 23, 2005

Go to totse.com

that will confuse the ****in' hell outta ya.

Brutus/HisCatalyst · Feb 23, 2005

Welcome to the 4ums, poetry!

AdJesumPerMariam · Feb 23, 2005

WELCOME!

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace."

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bliz · Feb 24, 2005

Without knowing more about the situation, it's hard to know what happened and where things went wrong.

Clearly the two of you were alone someplace where the situation could get heated, and you didn't say "No." to that. Guys often feel that girls send mixed signals - "There is "No! No!" on your lips but there is "Yes! Yes!" in your eyes!" You wanted to remain pure, put the two of you put yourself in a situation where is was way too easy not to be.

You both made a terrible mistake. But mistakes can be forgiven and the relationship can be restored, hopefully by two people who will be wiser. I would encourage the two of you to get some counseling together. Talk about the situation and your feelings of not being listened to and where you want your relationship to go from here.

poetry · Feb 24, 2005

Thanks for everyone's advice. I've prayed a lot about it. We will talk tonight and set up some boundaries. Thanks again. Greatly appreciated. -Poetry

Babymine · Feb 24, 2005

There is one thing I see here..."I felt I wasn't listened to" Wow, that is a HUGE statement. Are you saying he raped you?
If so, what is there to think about?

Are you saying he intimidated you?
If so, is that something you can deal with/handle? If he intimidates you in (or into) a sexual relationship, is he or can he intimidate you into other things?

Are you saying that you refused at first and then gave in? If so what made you do it? Curiosity? Lust? Want of Acceptance? Fear?

Feelings of not being heard bears heavily on matters of respect. I hope that you both also talked about respect when you talked about boundaries. You wouldn't want to marry a man who did not listen to you. You would not want to marry a man who did not respect that you knew what was right for YOU.

I don't know what else to say. I guess in your talk you came upon what went wrong, I hope that both acknowledge it and assure that it won't happen again. At the same time, do not close your eyes to forewarning.

IDS · Feb 26, 2005

Love isn't something you take
or a game you play
Love is who is left when
others walk away

Love isn't about myself
and what you can give me
Love is when I value you
and treat you tenderly

Love isn't lust
and runaway passion
Love is intimacy
and heartfelt compassion

Love doesn't leap
without a parachute
Love moves slowly
and often is mute

Love isn't science
or chemistry
Nor is it a novel
or mystery

Love fulfills
and sets you free
without the pressure
of sexual expectancy

Love is about you
and who you are
Not what you have
and if you will go "far"

Users are losers
pretending to be winners
Too often "true love"
is camoflauged sinners

Love will respect
honor and cherish
Love never demands
your dignity perish

Love values you
and what you feel
Love never negotiates
for the "best deal"

Love is a seed
planted in two hearts
Tended by GOD
the journey starts

.....peace.....

nuarc · Feb 28, 2005

Praying for you.

ukok · Feb 28, 2005

Moderator Note:

This thread has been moved from Christian Advice so as to receive more appropriate responses from others who are in a relationship.

God Bless.

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