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Conflicted about joining SA

Lost Angel

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Hi!

I attended two SA meetings this week. This is my first exposure to any 12 step programs. I sought them out to help me recover from my pornography addiction.

The two meetings were very nice and welcoming. They were at two different sites, but I favored the first. The members seemed to be a much smaller group and intimate.

Anyway, I have two problems:
1. I am agnostic, and am uncertain of the existence of God or any higher power.

2. I have lived with my girlfriend for four years, and we occasionally have sex. SA calls for the only acceptable sex is with one's spouse. There are several reasons why we can't get married at this time.

Any wise words would be appreciated.
 

If Not For Grace

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For the purposes of the 12 steps-a higher power is a power greater than you. That just means that there is something or somebody out there somewhere (maybe in that group) that knows more than you do.


Living together in some states is considered a legal civil union in 11 states and is referred to as "common-law" marriage-don't know if that applies to you or not.

What reaction does the GF have to the porn? Why do you think it's a problem? Are you an addict?
 
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Lost Angel

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My girlfriend is strongly opposed to porn. She finds it disgusting. I have hidden it from her for our entire relationship. I told her about it last week.

Am I an addict? I don't know. I have battling this demon for most of my life. I once thought that I could just stop on my own. I have gone for weeks and months, but that is about it. I suffer from bipolar, and I can spend an entire night MB to porn when I am manic. There are times that I just want more, more, more.
 
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Prosper4Him

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Wow! I respect you for being so open and honest! I too have suffered from this.

I am bipolar too. For years I scoured the web in search of various types of porn. I became so obsessed with it, I even learned to hack some sites!

Many times it was the only thing that replaced the feelings of loneliness and even curiosity. I started doing this at the age of 18 as I did many bad things back then.

I really hope SA can help you. For me... I had to find ways to replace the need or desire to watch porn. I found a few good hobbies that helped. It will take time and if or when you decide what faith you want to follow you can make better use of your time by studying. That may help to
 
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Lost Angel

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Thanks for the encouragement.
 
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