Clueless and naive, please help

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guest 101 said:

How does one proceed with divorce? What are the steps that are needed in order? (or is there an order?)

When would I get a lawyer?

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From the get go...an attorney is a good idea...

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It depends on if he wants a divorce too. If he does then do the paperwork yourself and save yourself a ton of money. If he doesn't get a lawyer and be ready for an exhausting fight to legally destroy your marriage.

You should be able to get in touch with a Legal Aid society near you, or some such agency, I'm not certain what you have in your state or area. They can at least direct you toward someone with expertise in FAMILY law, which is what you will need. You are completely within your rights to choose the lawyer YOU want on your side. I would counsel to choose someone you get on with well, who you feel is thinking most from your perspective, who you can trust is thinking in ways similar to yourself.

Practical things you can do in the meantime:

*get your cell phone, or A cell phone in your name, if you don't already
*open a bank account in your own name, again is you don't already
*begin keeping a journal of his actions, especially if there are children involved, specifically regarding his time with them and the nature and essence of their visits.
*get people around you who are supportive, trustworthy and healthy to be advisors and get loving support
*keep a spare set of car keys, house keys and any pertinent documents (birth certificate, copy of your driver's license, social security card or number) in a safe place NOT in your home. Keep it somewhere immediately accessible if you need them in a hurry, like at a trusted friend's home, or at your workplace.