Churches with an outside circle of friends

Churches with an outside circle of friends.

I want to know what people think about this...

This was the main problem with one of the churches I've been with for over 5yrs...till I left this year.

I've held myself with the help of God of keeping my virginity, I read the Bible every night, I suffer a lot of persecutions during Highschool and during the time I was part of that church. But my treatment within the church seems more like persecution from the inside, because it caused heaps of speculation.

Theres a group whom have friends they support, there are a couple of people from Sunday school that I know whom left God for their own bodily desires, but remain in that circle of friends, and their treatment is highly respected.

When being ignored, and rumours about myself, that I'm annoying spread within the church to the pastors whom also ignored me finally when asking questions with his teachings.

I asked one of the church goers part of the circle of friends whom are mostly non-Christians.

His excuse was "we're reaching out for non-Christians, it's what we're called for..."


Is this acceptable?

Foundthelight said:

Fundamentalist churches like to use the term "unequally yoked". Anytime someone has a friend outside the church thay are warned to break it off because they are "unequally yoked". What garbage.

Jesus had friends that were dishonest tax collectors, prostitutes, and who knows what else. He told us to reach out to the unsaved not the righteous. We are not obeying His command when we fellowship only with those who are approved by the elders.

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That wasn't my argument at all, at that time I had friends who were on drugs, and despite my attempt, I couldn't preach the gospel to them. They were stealing, committing disgusting acts, getting drunk....though a friend, I remained a Christian under a lot of stress.

What I was talking about, was how much the outside circle of friends influence the whole church... how a Christian was rejected for not being that part of the circle of friends. And how a pastor was influenced by the circle of friends rather than the motivation for the truth.

This isn't about reaching for the sinful, it's about how the sinful are non-repentant and influencing the church rather than the church influencing the sinful to repent.

Blessed-one said:

um, you mean allowing the sinful acts of the non-christians to continue and being christians, they do nothing to persuade and help them out of it right?

is it unacceptable... if it influenced the christian as well, then it really is a problem. If it did not, well, what to do is to keep being friends, pray and do what you can to help them out of it.

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Yeh, essentially thats how I see it... the church that I left, seems to be more influenced with it's decisions by the circle of friends outside, than from the inside.

One example:
Being told to shutup about my persecution during highschool, and to listen to an ex-Christian talk about going out to nightclubs and buying upgrades to pump up a car...
And the leader of the group did nothing.

Blessed-one said:

did it happen in the church setting or just a social gathering of old friends outside church?

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Those occurances happen within and outside...

Right now I just kinda want to bring closure to that issue.

Boanerge said:

If your friends are still non-believing, then something is wrong.

Your church is not growing, and it was a wise decision to leave it.

But you still need a church, you can not save your friends by yourself.

as for the pastor. i don't understand his decision.

well i have a female pastor. and females seem to be more understanding with the Youths, since she is a mother.

Male pastors seem to be immovable. NOT ALL though, many are wonderful.

IT just takes dicernment and guidence. This is where God comes in. Pray that He can help you find the right church. This way you can continue growing.

But no pastor is to ignore their members. This is very unheard of. but true none the less.

No pastor should ALLOW a SINNER to CONTINUE in their sins, so that the SINNER can feel that the church is nice and comfortable place, and therefore become a member.

This is False and A Decieving Method. This way of making Members is of the FAther of Lies.

But they do not see it. So it would not be wise to point at them and say "You Are of your Father Satan!"

Instead ask God to fill you with the right words to say.

You may not correct the whole church, but atleast you will rescue few from the trap of Lies and Deciet. and Few is extremely Significant to God.

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I've been thinking about this issue for a very long time. I never knew God from this church, I had known God from some other ways, such as reading the Bible, from the suicide attempt which was somewhat related to the churches incompetitant behaviour and from there God saved me(theres a story behind the whole issue)...

On the whole, I didn't see that church as my family.

The way I saw it was, when I was there, there'd be a group of friends who doesn't have to be Christians, they tell their Christian friends who have gained a lead position and reputation infront of the pastors, and hence they are direct influence to the pastor.

When I was there, I was always left behind. No one cared about me, they use excuses that I never attended the service, or that I never could communicate...like I mean, how could I communicate to people fallen in corruption. I didn't attend the service because I felt angry at the whole church.

Ever since I left the church, part of my mind was freed all of a sudden. I suddenly gained a position in becoming a mentor comittee member for CSE of UNSW, and now I'm Comittee Leader of EE&T at UNSW as well as being a Comittee member of CSE.

And also, I actually feel as if I'm climbing ranks in my new church...Unichurch. Because they saw me as a Christian that was contained...they help free whats within.

I think God has been great, since I'm Comittee Leader for EE&T and member of CSE, I would be in touch with over 600 or more students, and I could preach the gospel with a small percentage of them, lead a good leadership position and show them I'm a Christian....(Actually I just realised that!)

Oh well....

I feel as if I can bring some sort of closure now.........................


Thanks God, thanks all, helpers from Jesus!

Thanks Heaps

Jim!!!!