Churches view on women keeping last name after marriage

Alessandra · Aug 15, 2004

I was just wondering if the Church has a view on women keeping their original last name after they get married or hyphenating last names. Also, what is the Churches position when children are born.

I know I personally would like to hyphenate my names. Say I marry a man with the last name of Rossi, I would prefer to go by Alessandra Maldini-Rossi as opposed to Alessandra Rossi. Is the church against this? The reason I would like to do it is because I see myself after being married as being a part of two families and would like to keep both names as a symbol of this. Also, I was born a Maldini and would like to keep that name.

Secondly, is the church against Children being given hyphenated names of both the mother and father? I also want them to have both names as they are jsut as much my child and a part of my family as they are with his.

Is there an offical opinion?

ProCommunioneFacior · Aug 15, 2004

Well considering that different cultures have different practices in this regard I doubt that the Church has said anything about this.

Servant of the Kingdom · Aug 15, 2004

In Spain women have kept their names for centuries and centuries, that's why we have 2 names in Spain, for example I'm Miguel de Luis y Espinosa, (de Luis) comes from my father and (Espinosa) from my mother.

ej · Aug 15, 2004

I don't know the answer though I plan to find out!

A lot of women in my profession keep their maiden name. Personally, I plan to change mine - I think it would feel more traditional, more respectful to my husband, and make the family more family-like.

And besides - my family name is a naturalised name and has only been in existence for 3 generations.

stray bullet · Aug 15, 2004

It seems to be dependent on the culture. Personally, I'd be concerned about a woman that wanted to keep her last name. It shows me that there is some reluctancy to give everything up for one's marriage, you are still holding something back.

It isn't even my last name that is important. If I moved to a country where a man gave his name up, you can be sure I'd do it.

geocajun · Aug 15, 2004

Allesandra, are you planning to get married? I thought you did not want to have any children, ever.

As far as the teaching of the Church on changing ones last name, I believe that is a purely cultural practice, and the Churches teaching on Marriage and its nature sufficently explain the roles of the couples without difference to changing names.

Carrye · Aug 15, 2004

The Church hasn't, and really doesn't need to, weigh in on this. As others have said, it's a cultural practice.

I, like Emma, plan to receive (not take) my husband's surname. I wouldn't want all those babies we'll be having to get confused (or not be able to spell their name until high school)

Filia Mariae · Aug 15, 2004

clskinner said:
I, like Emma, plan to receive (not take) my husband's surname. I wouldn't want all those babies we'll be having to get confused (or not be able to spell their name until high school)

Good point Carrie. Like the Eucharist, marriage is a gift, and I will receive the gift of my husband's name, not take it.

InnerPhyre · Aug 15, 2004

It is my opinion that women should take their husband's last name, not out of submission, but to show that the two are now one flesh.

Cjwinnit · Aug 15, 2004

Mine is hyphenated so I don't know what my wife will want to do

Carrye · Aug 15, 2004

InnerPhyre said:
It is my opinion that women should take their husband's last name, not out of submission, but to show that the two are now one flesh.

Just playing devil's advocate here for a minute: why would it have to be the husband's last name?

Benedicta00 · Aug 15, 2004

clskinner said:
Just playing devil's advocate here for a minute: why would it have to be the husband's last name?

Because

Like it or not, God took woman from Adam because it was not good for him to be alone. The man is the head of the family and it should be that way. Its only because of the fall we care that he is. If we never fell, we could care less that he is over us in this sense. The fall did not place him over us, the fall just made us mad about it.

Carrye · Aug 15, 2004

Shelb5 said:
Because

Like it or not, God took woman from Adam because it was not good for him to be alone. The man is the head of the family and it should be that way. Its only because of the fall we care that he is. If we never fell, we could care less that he is over us in this sense. The fall did not place him over us, the fall just made us mad about it.

Oh, I agree. And I agree that a woman should take her husband's name. I was trying to point out the logic in IP's argument: If two become one flesh, then why would it have to be the husband's last name? ... if two are one, then which "one" do you pick? That might not make any sense.

stray bullet · Aug 15, 2004

clskinner said:
Oh, I agree. And I agree that a woman should take her husband's name. I was trying to point out the logic in IP's argument: If two become one flesh, then why would it have to be the husband's last name? ... if two are one, then which "one" do you pick? That might not make any sense.

What if in our culture, it was the woman's last name that became the family's? Would you keep yours then?

Benedicta00 · Aug 15, 2004

clskinner said:
Oh, I agree. And I agree that a woman should take her husband's name. I was trying to point out the logic in IP's argument: If two become one flesh, then why would it have to be the husband's last name? ... if two are one, then which "one" do you pick? That might not make any sense.

The husband. Some women may think that's not fair or that its oppresseive or what ever but the only reason why we would even care is because of self love and a puffed up sense of pride that says, "No Lord, I will not serve." We serve Christ when we serve our husbands. I know that is foreign language Im speaking in this day, but it is not as drastic or dramatic as it sounds. We are supposed to receive all people in then name of Christ, especially our husbands and all the children God desires to send.

Carrye · Aug 15, 2004

Shelb5 said:
The husband. Some women may think that's not fair or that its oppresseive or what ever but the only reason why we would even care is because of self love and a puffed up sense of pride that says, "No Lord, I will not serve." We serve Christ when we serve our husbands. I know that is foreign language Im speaking in this day, but it is not as drastic or dramatic as it sounds. We are supposed to receive all people in then name of Christ, especially our husbands and all the children God desires to send.

So receiving our husband's name is one way of receiving him. And by receiving him, we are serving Christ. But a husband is to serve Christ too, by serving his wife.

I guess I just don't see a strong religious argument for this, which may be why it has never been standardized. God places man over woman in the beginning. But then two become one in marriage. The question is: "what do we call this 'one'?"

I agree with everything you're saying Michelle, but I'm just trying to formulate a good argument so as to explain it to someone who might not see things the way we do.

geocajun · Aug 16, 2004

stray bullet said:
What if in our culture, it was the woman's last name that became the family's? Would you keep yours then?

what if in our culture, women walked on their hands?I wonder what the Church would teach about that... hmmm

Rufus T Firefly · Aug 16, 2004

Well, I got married in a Catholic church over twenty years ago, and my wife kept her maiden name, and there's never been any trouble. They're both Irish McC names, so similar that you wouldn't bother changing. No one gave us any static about it, apart from my mum, but that was no drama in the end. The kids both have my surname, and I basically don't see why there'd be any problem either way.

ufonium2 · Aug 16, 2004

I have both my mom's maiden name and my dad's name (mom took dad's name, but they gave the kids both) and it's been a total hassle. There's no way to put that on a form, I never know where I'll be alphabetically, people assume I'm a feminist because I have two last names, etc. Generally, I omit my mom's maiden name from forms, to the point that I go for months without seeing it on anything. Sometimes I forget I even have two last names.

PeterPaul · Aug 16, 2004

I have both and I don't have a problem with it. Its like representing both clans of the family.

Ferrer i Sallent.

Churches view on women keeping last name after marriage

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