Can't stop crying...

Ember in the Darkness · May 19, 2005

In january my friend killed herself, she was only 14... And even now when I think about her I start crying and can't stop! I don't know how to get over losing her... can someone help me?
~Ember in the Darkness

Chloe Williams · May 19, 2005

I am so sorry to hear about your friend...
As far as getting better and feeling not so sad anymore, well pray about it for starters. I have heard of people writing letters to those who have passed away, which I don't know if that helps because I have never tried it but, it might be worth a try.
Another thing that is important is to not keep your feelings all bundled up inside, because eventually it will become to much for you....you don't have to talk to other people about it if you don't want, but you could try keeping a journal (if you don't already have one) to write in when you start to feel sad.
Last thing is, remeber it is ok to cry and grieve for your friend. Don't think that you have to "get over it" to soon.
I am praying for you! And if you ever need/want someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime!

heron · May 20, 2005

That's so sad. It sounds like she was close to you, a part of you.

Anti Existance · May 20, 2005

Maby you can tell us her story, talking,talking,talking (when you feel ready) wil be a first step in the eventual healing proces.

shakingthedustoffmyfeet · May 23, 2005

I had a close friend die recently, without warning. I have felt guilty about it because I thought I could have been a better friend. Many times when people die, we feel guilty because we think somehow we could have prevented it or could have done things differently. Continue to let your light shine, Ember. Ask God to reveal to you how to work through your grief. This is a natural process. I will be praying for you.

Manders2 · May 24, 2005

Yes talking will difinitly help!!! I have never lost a friend but I lost my son and it has helped me so much to talk about him. I made a webpage in his memory maybe you can do that for your friend...make a webpage in memory of your friends life. It helped me a lot to do it for my son and it has helped a lot of people around the world too because they then realized they werent the only one going thru the pain I was. You will probally help people out other people by talking about friend so they know they are not alone either. Just a suggestion!!! I am soo sorry for the loss of your friend...I will pray for you and her family!!!

Pinkwaterlily · May 29, 2005

Hello I'm so sorry for your loss. Talking about it helps, maybe you could start a journal here, as many people do and it's helped them and myself as well. Take care.

angel82 · Jun 3, 2005

Ember in the Darkness said:
In january my friend killed herself, she was only 14... And even now when I think about her I start crying and can't stop! I don't know how to get over losing her... can someone help me?
~Ember in the Darkness

I understand what you are are going through and I'm sorry you have to go through this tragic form of grief. I lost my son last year on 09 June 2004 and still have not come to a totally peaceful mindset as to why he took his own life. However I did find that I was not alone through the groups out there that support family and friends of suicides.My advice to you is talk about it, to her family if you can or anybody else that will listen. Everyones grief takes a different direction so there is no wrong to what you are feeling, however I would not like to see you get deppressed to the point of being ill yourself. Put your faith and prayers in Gods hands and believe that he will get you through it. I will be praying for you. Also check out those support groups ( they really do help)

Karli_romans828 · Jun 7, 2005

It is really sad when someone dies and with prayer and Gods help you will over power your sadness. I will be praying for you. Just try and remeber the good, your friend wouldnt want to see you hurting so bad.

angel82 · Jun 8, 2005

Just to let you know that after awhile the crying does get less and with the grace of God each day brings you closer to your friend. You will never understand why your friend did this just like I'll never know why my son commited suicide,but I do know that if we give ourselves and our broken heart to God he will lift us up and show us the road he has for us. It may help to do something special one day a month and later maybe one day a year to remember the joy your friend and you had together e.g. going to a movie that you know both of you would have liked,or to a park or recreation centre or even a mall, this is an idea of how you can keep her memory alive for you. God Bless You and I will keep you in my prayers

Ember in the Darkness · Jun 13, 2005

Anti Existance said:
Maby you can tell us her story, talking,talking,talking (when you feel ready) wil be a first step in the eventual healing proces.

My friend, Danny, had just broken up with her b/f... She wrote a note to all of us telling us not to be mad at her and that it wasn't our fault... But yet, I feel that it is my fault... That I wasn't there for her and that I could have stopped her... On her death certificate, when we all went to her memoral service, it said she was pregnent, I didn't even know, no one did... I feel like such a bad friend for not knowing this fact that maybe would have stopped her from killing herself.

~Ember in the Darkness

Mr.Cheese · Jun 13, 2005

*hug*

shakingthedustoffmyfeet · Jun 13, 2005

Guilt is something people almost always feel when someone they love dies unexpectedly, especially in a situation like you describe. The bottom line is that you would have done more if you could have, wouldn't you? Sometimes people to whom we are close stop letting us in. It hurts deeply. It does not matter how old or young you are, this type of grief is difficult to overcome. Jesus wants us to cast our cares upon Him. He understands grief because He experienced it for the entire world, for you and for me. When you cry, talk to God about this. Ask Him to heal your heart. Trust Him to do it. Walk through the process, and don't be afraid to feel sad. It is normal, and feelings of guilt are normal too. These feelings of guilt, though, are unfounded if you would have helped your friend if she had let you. It sounds to me as though you would have helped her. My heart goes out to you. I just experienced a very similar situation, so I will not forget to pray for you. God bless you!

ArmouredSaint · Jun 22, 2005

dear ember,i sent you a link--please visit us.i've lived this too. im praying.

Ember in the Darkness said:
In january my friend killed herself, she was only 14... And even now when I think about her I start crying and can't stop! I don't know how to get over losing her... can someone help me?
~Ember in the Darkness

angel82 · Jun 22, 2005

Dear Ember
Just to let you know, i've talked to many professionals about suicide
and found out that if you had stopped her she would have just gone through it at a later time, maybe a day, week or month. It is not something you can stop once they set their mind to it.
Please don't blame yourself you are not at fault no one knows what it is that makes the person finnally take their own life. You were a good friend and my prayers are with you. If you want you can PM me anytime to talk. It has only been a year since my son did this so I really do understand how you are feeling.

peacechild4 · Jun 24, 2005

Ask God to help you find peace.. He can be a real comfort to us when we are hurting so much and His presence can take away our pain.. Maybe in the future through this experience you can help others....

So many young people take their lives.. Maybe you might be able to be there for someone else because of what you have gone through.. Ask God to enable you and use you to help someone else..
Because suicide has touched you so deeply.. You have an awareness about it that so many of us don't.. Take positive steps forward.. your pain just might give you insight to be there for someone else.. This pain can have a purpose..
Yes.. your friend lost her life and it is a sad sad death.. but maybe through the loss of this one precious life you can save many others..

Dear God, thank you for the precious soul of this one who died.. I ask that you bless and comfort Ember in the Darkness for her sadness.. Father strengthen her and may she know hope in her heart once again.. Lord I pray she may be able to help others because of what she has experienced... I pray lives are saved and hearts uplifted because of this young woman... Her life counts for something.. amen and amen

Can't stop crying...

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