Breakup - Devastated and Discouraged

Parathodoxy said:

Good evening, brother. Blessings and God's peace be upon you tonight as you go through this great trial now. May Christ strengthen you and open your eyes to see His will in His good time, but also grant you perserverance and understanding in the meantime. In Jesus name, amen.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding- Proverbs 3:5

Aside from prayer and testimony, there is little I am qualified to offer you, but hopefully, it will help.

I have been down this road. I know the eye blurring pain of this kind of loss. The love of my life, my wife of 14+ years, literally walked out on me over night, leaving with nothing but a letter declaring an end to everything and that she was going to stay with another man across the country, about as far away from me as she could get.

Like your situation, she had been a Christian, but my wife decided to renounce it all and throw it all away. Who I was and the life I had was obliterated at that moment. I couldn't even breathe. For a few moments, I felt a small taste of what Job had been through, though he lost far more than me. It still felt like I lost everything in that moment. I couldn't even speak for a few hours after it happened.

But, this turned out to be a lesson from God. He used the wickedness and hardened hearts in this situation to lift me up and set me on a new path. I had asked God for help not a week before my wife left, and the response rocked my world. I was changed. I leaned on Him more. I gained innumerable experiences and the privilege of being able to share this story with some authority on the topic.

Did it hurt like nothing I had ever felt before? Of course. But, what Satan had planned for evil, God definitely turned to good.

I, too, prayed as much as I could for her to come back for 6 months, but through it all I said "not my will, but your will be done, God." And eventually, I gained peace and understanding. I forged new relationships and cherished the ones I already had. Out of the ashes of complete and utter devastation, new life began to grow just like forest fires make way for new seeds to sprout. True cleansing comes through fire.

My wife never returned to me and as to what she is doing with her life, it's in God's hands and her own to decide whether she will turn from sin or not. But, that doesn't mean it's the end for me. It took a long time to be at complete peace, but I am forever thankful for God holding my hand through this whole ordeal. I am stronger for it, a bit more understanding, and I have made more of the tragedy than I ever thought possible.

That is how God works. He makes beauty arise out of the hideousness of sin and suffering.

So, when it is extraordinarily difficult, remember to lean not on your own understanding and spend time on God and what He wants for you and everyone else involved. The answer to your prayers may not be what you initially desire, but He will always work things for our good.

I'll be here when you need to chat.

Peace be upon you.

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Trayalc said:

... I’ve been hanging on for far too long. I’ve prayed for her every day since last June, but apparently it’s not working.

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Trayalc said:

Back towards the beginning of January, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was a nonbeliever when we started dating, but thankfully God spoke to her through me and other means, and she is now a Christian. I thought she’d change her old lifestyle. I was partially right — only in that she’d do it while still in relationship with me.

I recently found out since not long at all after our breakup, she started hooking up with some guy she had been seeing as friends for a while, and now they are dating. I am devastated. Here I have been really missing her, reflecting on our relationship, and honestly hoping God would bring us back together. And there she is already sleeping around with a new guy. I feel forgotten and replaced.

She is holding onto her faith, but making terrible choices, it sounds like. The guy she’s dating is an atheist, and since she is only a Christian of 6 months, I know that cannot be good for her spiritual well being. I texted her good Christian friend about this concern, but her friend said “he’s very supportive of her faith, and if anything he’s strengthening her faith in Jesus. I assure you Jesus is still #1 in her life.” I call bull crap. She doesn’t know what’s been going on between them. This relationship can’t be good for her. I hate it so much.

I have never felt in my life more of a combination of disappointment, hurt, and jealousy. My heart hurts so much that it wakes me in the middle of the night. Am I so easy to move on from? Am I so easy to forget? What can I do?

She needs prayers, obviously, but I need prayers to truly move on from this. I’ve been hanging on for far too long. I’ve prayed for her every day since last June, but apparently it’s not working.

Click to expand...

Trayalc said:

Back towards the beginning of January, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was a nonbeliever when we started dating, but thankfully God spoke to her through me and other means, and she is now a Christian. I thought she’d change her old lifestyle. I was partially right — only in that she’d do it while still in relationship with me.

I recently found out since not long at all after our breakup, she started hooking up with some guy she had been seeing as friends for a while, and now they are dating. I am devastated. Here I have been really missing her, reflecting on our relationship, and honestly hoping God would bring us back together. And there she is already sleeping around with a new guy. I feel forgotten and replaced.

She is holding onto her faith, but making terrible choices, it sounds like. The guy she’s dating is an atheist, and since she is only a Christian of 6 months, I know that cannot be good for her spiritual well being. I texted her good Christian friend about this concern, but her friend said “he’s very supportive of her faith, and if anything he’s strengthening her faith in Jesus. I assure you Jesus is still #1 in her life.” I call bull crap. She doesn’t know what’s been going on between them. This relationship can’t be good for her. I hate it so much.

I have never felt in my life more of a combination of disappointment, hurt, and jealousy. My heart hurts so much that it wakes me in the middle of the night. Am I so easy to move on from? Am I so easy to forget? What can I do?

She needs prayers, obviously, but I need prayers to truly move on from this. I’ve been hanging on for far too long. I’ve prayed for her every day since last June, but apparently it’s not working.

Click to expand...

Trayalc said:

Back towards the beginning of January, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was a nonbeliever when we started dating, but thankfully God spoke to her through me and other means, and she is now a Christian. I thought she’d change her old lifestyle. I was partially right — only in that she’d do it while still in relationship with me.

I recently found out since not long at all after our breakup, she started hooking up with some guy she had been seeing as friends for a while, and now they are dating. I am devastated. Here I have been really missing her, reflecting on our relationship, and honestly hoping God would bring us back together. And there she is already sleeping around with a new guy. I feel forgotten and replaced.

She is holding onto her faith, but making terrible choices, it sounds like. The guy she’s dating is an atheist, and since she is only a Christian of 6 months, I know that cannot be good for her spiritual well being. I texted her good Christian friend about this concern, but her friend said “he’s very supportive of her faith, and if anything he’s strengthening her faith in Jesus. I assure you Jesus is still #1 in her life.” I call bull crap. She doesn’t know what’s been going on between them. This relationship can’t be good for her. I hate it so much.

I have never felt in my life more of a combination of disappointment, hurt, and jealousy. My heart hurts so much that it wakes me in the middle of the night. Am I so easy to move on from? Am I so easy to forget? What can I do?

She needs prayers, obviously, but I need prayers to truly move on from this. I’ve been hanging on for far too long. I’ve prayed for her every day since last June, but apparently it’s not working.

Click to expand...

Trayalc said:

I feel forgotten and replaced.

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