Breaking up...

Peculiarone · Dec 19, 2004

This is not easy at all. I had to come out and say it. I decided not to be unequally yoked with my SO in Jamaica.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its so sad.

I know that I had to break up because he was not saved anymore and the distance was just a strain on our relationship. He wanted sex still and was not willing to wait. However, we loved each other soo much and the relationship was fine until I decided to go back into the church and walk with Christ and ALL HE has to offer.

But now I am feeling so sad and wondering if I made the right decision.Hmmm He says he will not give up with out a fight. He said I am the best thing and he felt he lost it.

Lord what to do and say about this?
CF..your thoughts?

This_Beautiful_Grace · Dec 19, 2004

From what you said, it sounds like you made a very important and wise decision. Staying with him could have dangerously affected your relationship with God. Personally, I think God will be pleased with your decision. He knows how hard it was for you - and He will bless you for your obedient heart.

Rosa Mystica · Dec 19, 2004

Peculiarone said:
He wanted sex still and was not willing to wait.

Doesn't sound like he was very loving if that was the case.

I say that you're deserving of better. In time, when you've healed from this pain, you'll be able to look for that special guy.

hugnluvable · Dec 19, 2004

Peculiarone said:
I know that I had to break up because he was not saved anymore and the distance was just a strain on our relationship. He wanted sex still and was not willing to wait. However, we loved each other soo much and the relationship was fine until I decided to go back into the church and walk with Christ and ALL HE has to offer.

Aw, honey - I feel for you really I do. There are some unequal relationships that can work but in every relationship there can be strain - and strains that we dont need in certain points of our lives. It sounds like you made the best possible decision.

But now I am feeling so sad and wondering if I made the right decision.Hmmm He says he will not give up with out a fight. He said I am the best thing and he felt he lost it.

Maybe this might make you feel a teeny bit better.....GOD LOVES YOU GIRL! And now that you're single YOU ARE ALL HIS! No need to feel awkward about going to church, doing what God wants you to do, fulfilling every potential that God has created you for... Boyfriends/girlfriends can be quite demanding and can hold us back from being as close as posisble with our creator - my advice to you now is really really get to know God and yourself before you start another relationship with someone else.... IMHO you made the right decision - keep on keeping on... tell your ex how you feel about the relationship then and tell him what you want in a relationship - If he really loves you then he'll realise that he cant offer you what you really really need....

Love, hugs and prayers
Erica
xxx

FaithfulServant · Dec 19, 2004

First I want to give you a BIG HUG!

The next few days are going to be the hardest. You're going to feel lonely, and constantly want to pick up the phone and call him. If you want to make this a clean break, and you're serious about leaving him and seeking after our wonderful Lord, you've got to think about whether you should ignore his phone calls. In most cases, it will make it much much more easy for you to get over him and focus on what's most important at this stage of your life right now (building your relationship with God)....if you don't call him and don't answer his calls.

Of course he feels like he lost the best things hes ever had, you're a great gal, but YOU know that one day you are going to want a husband who will be able to be a spiritual leader, or at the very least, join you in going to church, worshiping, and raising your children (if you have them) in moral and Godly ways. This man wouldn't have provided that, and you should be happy you realized that now before it was too late (if you two got married or something).

PM me if you ever need anything

Peculiarone · Dec 19, 2004

Thanks for the replies..and I wouldn't mind FURTHER REPLIES please.

I am thinking now of something I posted here and I will post it again now and repeat it...may you be blessed with it as well.

Let it go for 2005
-by T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that,
They came out from us that it might be made manifest
that they were not for us.
For had they been of us,
no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can't make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye.

It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have
He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your
worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents .
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship....
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves..
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ....
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to
handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you
need

to...

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2005!!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then
LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

sculpturegirl · Dec 19, 2004

I think that it was a wise decision on your part. Let God heal you! God will find you a mate that is just who you need and someone who loves and serves the Lord. Settle for nothing less!

caitlincares · Dec 19, 2004

Peculiarone said:
This is not easy at all. I had to come out and say it. I decided not to be unequally yoked with my SO in Jamaica.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its so sad.

I know that I had to break up because he was not saved anymore and the distance was just a strain on our relationship. He wanted sex still and was not willing to wait. However, we loved each other soo much and the relationship was fine until I decided to go back into the church and walk with Christ and ALL HE has to offer.

But now I am feeling so sad and wondering if I made the right decision.Hmmm He says he will not give up with out a fight. He said I am the best thing and he felt he lost it.

Lord what to do and say about this?
CF..your thoughts?

Congratulations

I truly know how you are feeling.
I broke up with my fiance back in June because he had grown away from the Lord
and we were no longer on the same page - we were "unequally yoked".

You did do the right thing.
Keep doing what you know is right in God's eyes.

Praying for you.

Rosa Mystica · Dec 19, 2004

caitlincares said:
Congratulations

I wish you wouldn't "congratulate" her on her break up. I've had it done to me on this board by several people, and I felt it to be most insensitive on their part. Personally, I think that it's best to break up w/ anyone who's putting sexual pressure on you (like this guy was), but still, by congratulating her, you're making it sound like she was doing something she ought to be ashamed of.

caitlincares · Dec 19, 2004

Rosa Mystica said:
I wish you wouldn't "congratulate" her on her break up. I've had it done to me on this board by several people, and I felt it to be most insensitive on their part. Personally, I think that it's best to break up w/ anyone who's putting sexual pressure on you (like this guy was), but still, by congratulating her, you're making it sound like she was doing something she ought to be ashamed of.

I am congratulating her for having the courage to do it.
I know how hard it is and how long it took me to make the final break.

FaithfulServant · Dec 19, 2004

In reference to the above 2 posts^
Breaking up with someone you still have feelings for takes a lot of courage, and deserves a congratulations.

Peculiarone · Dec 19, 2004

Well he wasn't and never has pressured me for sex, but he just lay down the line that he wants it and doesn't see himself saved any time soon. Plus he says..marriage won't be till 5 years and he still doesn't see himself getting married. He would want to have kids, but not necessarily in marriage. No offence taken in this thread.

I on the otherhand, see marriage then intercourse. I want to have kids in marriage. I don't think I might even wait 5 or more years for him to come to his decision...neither was I willing to have sex and be out of CHRIST for that long either.

So...I had to do this..........no matter how hard it has been and still is. I am away now for a season in this melanchony room. I am trying to get a praise, maintain the praise and give thanks.. I am trying.

(sorry to burden you down with my sadness, but...I needed somewhere to say it to and I don't really have much christian friends to say it to and to get a biblical support.. so thank God for y'all. I asure you that in the future when this season has ended...if it ends... I'll be a much more cheerful poster..

Glorianna · Dec 19, 2004

This_Beautiful_Faith said:
From what you said, it sounds like you made a very important and wise decision. Staying with him could have dangerously affected your relationship with God. Personally, I think God will be pleased with your decision. He knows how hard it was for you - and He will bless you for your obedient heart.

I agree. I'm sorry that you're hurting so much but God has someone better in store for you.

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Breaking up...

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