best way to deal with athiests?

HumanistKat · Apr 29, 2012

If you don't want to engage on such matters, a polite smile and saying 'I'd rather not talk about my faith. Is there anything else you would like to talk about?' would be a lot better than getting into an argument, or getting your blood pressure up. This states your position clearly, and gives them the opportunity to talk about sports or politics or whatever. If they keep at you, say you have said you don't want to talk about it and walk away.

Anyone that forces someone into a conversation they don't want to have, Christian or atheist, is not worth our time.

MissIndigo · May 31, 2012

As an ex-atheist all I can tell you is this.

There are three types of atheist. Feel free to add more if anyone knows any other.

1. The Insecure: The one who has to reaffirm his disbelief in God because he is fearful of the unknown, fearful of being wrong thus having to keep validating his disbelief to make himself feel that he is right. This is the most aggressive of atheists.

2. The Now: The one who doesn't care because his life is based in and on the worldly affairs of mankind SOLELY and cares about what people think, cares about being mocked, doesn't care about what happens because he doesn't want to think about it.

3. The Convinced: This is the group that is convinced or believes that there is no god because of a desire to understand the world around them or because of something which happened to them in their lives which they attributed to God's "cruelty" and rationalise that there must be "no god" or its a "fairytale" people make up. They might or might not listen. This is the easier of the three to rationalise with because they tend to be more mature if they are convinced by reasoning, or rationality.

The above can be mixed and matched. The convinced can be also insecure. The insecure can be the now - he doesn't want to think about it because he is insecure about his lack of understanding of the world around and of God.

What I can tell you is - the more aggressive they are, the less you can reason.

Why? Because you can descend into a huge shouting match if you're not careful and it would defeat the purpose about sharing the gospel or at least keeping others from assaulting your feelings when sharing your faith.

The first is to reason with them on their level and stop the personal abuse.
Tell them they can believe whatever they want to believe, but to descend into personal abuse only displays their ignorance or actual knowledge of the matter through ad hominem attacks.

Tell them you won't waste your time on childish attacks if they can't even discuss an issue maturely.

I personally wouldn't even bother entertaining these people if I can't handle them. Simply put, if you are easily riled then you either need to brush up on your ability to remain calm and rational in the face of such people.
Either that or just stop responding to them. Smile and say, "Its nice to know your opinion. I doubt atheism is the answer to Christianity but thanks for your input anyway."

Non sequitur · Jun 1, 2012

MissIndigo said:
As an ex-atheist all I can tell you is this.

There are three types of atheist. Feel free to add more if anyone knows any other.

1. The Insecure: The one who has to reaffirm his disbelief in God because he is fearful of the unknown, fearful of being wrong thus having to keep validating his disbelief to make himself feel that he is right. This is the most aggressive of atheists.

2. The Now: The one who doesn't care because his life is based in and on the worldly affairs of mankind SOLELY and cares about what people think, cares about being mocked, doesn't care about what happens because he doesn't want to think about it.

3. The Convinced: This is the group that is convinced or believes that there is no god because of a desire to understand the world around them or because of something which happened to them in their lives which they attributed to God's "cruelty" and rationalise that there must be "no god" or its a "fairytale" people make up. They might or might not listen. This is the easier of the three to rationalise with because they tend to be more mature if they are convinced by reasoning, or rationality.

The above can be mixed and matched. The convinced can be also insecure. The insecure can be the now - he doesn't want to think about it because he is insecure about his lack of understanding of the world around and of God.

What I can tell you is - the more aggressive they are, the less you can reason.

Why? Because you can descend into a huge shouting match if you're not careful and it would defeat the purpose about sharing the gospel or at least keeping others from assaulting your feelings when sharing your faith.

The first is to reason with them on their level and stop the personal abuse.
Tell them they can believe whatever they want to believe, but to descend into personal abuse only displays their ignorance or actual knowledge of the matter through ad hominem attacks.

Tell them you won't waste your time on childish attacks if they can't even discuss an issue maturely.

I personally wouldn't even bother entertaining these people if I can't handle them. Simply put, if you are easily riled then you either need to brush up on your ability to remain calm and rational in the face of such people.
Either that or just stop responding to them. Smile and say, "Its nice to know your opinion. I doubt atheism is the answer to Christianity but thanks for your input anyway."

(You could very well replace "atheist" with "Christian" in your "three types", above, and it could be equally true...)

It's incredibly shallow, insulting and conceited of you to say that atheists are either insecure, apathetic or angry and hurt...

MissIndigo · Jun 1, 2012

Non sequitur said:
(You could very well replace "atheist" with "Christian" in your "three types", above, and it could be equally true...)

It's incredibly shallow, insulting and conceited of you to say that atheists are either insecure, apathetic or angry and hurt...

I didn't mean it to come out as insulting.

I'm sure we'd all like to think we are all very individualistic and unique in every way (we are, but still again, can be categorised) but most of us, whether we are atheist or believers of any religion, tends to fit into a particular personality profile.

This is why profiling is prominent is every community - from police, army, etc.
Example is a personality test, psychologists use personality tests to categorise people into distinct groups that show certain traits.

While I don't profess to be a psychologist or anything of the sort, I was trying to help a fellow Christian analyse and assess a person/situation in the simplest way possible so as to prevent an unnecessary argument from taking place where it would end up being a moot argument or worse, just a silly argument of "yes they exist, no they don't" as opposed to a productive and respectful discussion.

In any given situation one devises ways and means to be able to assess and judge a situation or circumstance, and in the circumstance of the OP he claimed to have atheists "shove their views down" his throat which to me indicates he has issues handling atheists who might be too aggressive in their viewpoints but perhaps not mature enough to have a civil discussion or debate about the existence of God and religion without descending into ad hominem attacks. (e.g. him being accused of being a 'sheep', etc).

This causes him distress so my advice was to not even bother with arguments until he was sure it would be someone who might be more receptive and considerate.

If it were relevant I would post up Christian types too but then it would not contribute to the thread in any way.

I'm sorry but I don't think its "shallow" at all as it wasn't meant to be a put down at all. If it were, then perhaps your statement might be valid imo.

Non sequitur · Jun 1, 2012

MissIndigo said:
I didn't mean it to come out as insulting.

I'm sure we'd all like to think we are all very individualistic and unique in every way (we are, but still again, can be categorised) but most of us, whether we are atheist or believers of any religion, tends to fit into a particular personality profile.

This is why profiling is prominent is every community - from police, army, etc.
Example is a personality test, psychologists use personality tests to categorise people into distinct groups that show certain traits.

While I don't profess to be a psychologist or anything of the sort, I was trying to help a fellow Christian analyse and assess a person/situation in the simplest way possible so as to prevent an unnecessary argument from taking place where it would end up being a moot argument or worse, just a silly argument of "yes they exist, no they don't" as opposed to a productive and respectful discussion.

In any given situation one devises ways and means to be able to assess and judge a situation or circumstance, and in the circumstance of the OP he claimed to have atheists "shove their views down" his throat which to me indicates he has issues handling atheists who might be too aggressive in their viewpoints but perhaps not mature enough to have a civil discussion or debate about the existence of God and religion without descending into ad hominem attacks. (e.g. him being accused of being a 'sheep', etc).

This causes him distress so my advice was to not even bother with arguments until he was sure it would be someone who might be more receptive and considerate.

If it were relevant I would post up Christian types too but then it would not contribute to the thread in any way.

I'm sorry but I don't think its "shallow" at all as it wasn't meant to be a put down at all. If it were, then perhaps your statement might be valid imo.

I didn't have a problem with profiling, per se, but that you insinuate that there are only those 3 types.

"As an ex-atheist all I can tell you is this.

There are three types of atheist.."

While there may be those that do fall under that, leaving out any other non-negative possibilities is suspicious and seems dishonest/misleading.

If someone were having these issues with an African-American or woman, and I swapped out "atheist" for either one of those, that response would make it seem like they all fit into one of those categories - all of them negative.

BleedingHeart · Jun 13, 2012

"I didn't mean it to come out as insulting."

You say that, then why make them all negative? Trying to categorize the members of any group is going to leave something to be desired. What about the atheists that don't believe there is any evidence. The 3rd kind of atheist is the closest you came to being accurate but even then you had to talk about your perception of their perception of "God's cruelty."

jminnesota · Oct 7, 2012

show them the bible they will run lol

K9_Trainer · Oct 8, 2012

jminnesota said:
show them the bible they will run lol

Not necessarily true. A lot of atheists are highly knowledgeable about the Bible and Christianity; they simply don't agree with it. You can't "scare them off" with a Bible.

juliepeasandlove · Oct 19, 2012

I used to be a vegetarian... For some reason at age 13 I stopped eating meat. And I would constantly get people reacting to me when I casually mentioned that I did not eat meat - I never shoved it down anyone's throat or preached or anything! But I would still get reactions. Anyhow, your post, which is also something I deal with as a christian, somehow reminded me of that period in my life. I eat meat now, but was veggie for 12 years. I think the reaction from atheists to Christians is somehow similar. They are confused and searching, and when you casually mention your beliefs, in whatever framework, it stirs something in them where they feel guilty or lost or something for not having faith or beliefs. So they get defensive and then try to berate you or belittle you.
It is difficult, but keep your faith, and pray for them. And maybe broach this subject when they berate you. Tell them how they are making YOU feel, and remember that no one can argue with a question!!! So ask the question - why do you feel the need to belittle me? Maybe you can turn it into a discussion that is more honest. Good luck.

Isambard · Oct 31, 2012

Fire has long been the non-believers' enemy.

crixus · Nov 13, 2012

Pray for them!

AshleyWillow · Dec 6, 2012

^ I pray for my brother sometimes. He doesn't consider himself an athiest, but is "rejecting christianity" which I find to be the same thing. His views don't really bother me, but it does when he says I'm being brainwashed.

fratbrat · Jan 6, 2013

Love is the answer. Just love them and pray for them. You may be the light they need someday. I'm not always good at this but it's the right answer bro. Good luck!

fratbrat · Jan 6, 2013

AshleyWillow said:
^ I pray for my brother sometimes. He doesn't consider himself an athiest, but is "rejecting christianity" which I find to be the same thing. His views don't really bother me, but it does when he says I'm being brainwashed.

We're you both raised in a Christian home? He may come back to Christ on his own terms. He needs to know that not all Christians are real. He can come to his own understanding of it.

bbfantastic · May 21, 2013

Matt 28 v 19. I dont believe the "speak when spoken to" approach works in regards to this. So I think shutting up about "religion" unless asked a question isnt very productive. Also, I dont believe in religion. I believe in a loving and lasting relationship with God xx (I know that probably didnt answer ur question but it was a comment I wanted to make) xx

BlueLioness · May 25, 2013

gusbus48 said:
I cant tell you how many have insulted me for what I believe in and insult God. They say more than hurtful things as though they are smart for not believing and I am just a sheep who cant shake the "lies and superstitions that I have been taught since childhood"quote]

You know I feel the same exact way about THEM. I've felt sickend and angered at non-Christians before, maybe I shouldn't.

Cearbhall · May 29, 2013

I know this thread is really old, but to anyone who is facing any sort of intolerance regarding beliefs and values, just try to remain respectful and keep discussions calm. If your friends don't show you the same respect, then find other friends.

bbfantastic said:
Matt 28 v 19. I dont believe the "speak when spoken to" approach works in regards to this. So I think shutting up about "religion" unless asked a question isnt very productive. Also, I dont believe in religion. I believe in a loving and lasting relationship with God xx (I know that probably didnt answer ur question but it was a comment I wanted to make) xx

Yes, everyone is free to express religious beliefs, but remember to expect the same in return.

Gnarwhal · May 30, 2013

gusbus48 said:
It seems that everyone my age is an athiest. Not only that, but they try to shove their views down my throat.

I cant tell you how many have insulted me for what I believe in and insult God. They say more than hurtful things as though they are smart for not believing and I am just a sheep who cant shake the "lies and superstitions that I have been taught since childhood"

I try to tell them to leave me alone and/or ignore it, but then I get bottled anger.

I also try to explain that every christian has pondered about the validity of the stories in the Bible, and that he isnt superior or smarter than me for not believing. I try to explain that it is the MESSAGE that gets to me and teaches me to live a good life.

I almost want to call them ignorant and stupid for thinking they know me or for thinking not believing makes them better.

How should I handle this? I am definitely a leader amongst the kids at my college being a football player etc, and I want to handle this the right way.

Granted, this post is a couple of years, old I still felt like addressing it...

I don't think we need to approach the situation as "how do we deal with atheists" because that kind of reduces who they are as people to something of a nuisance or pest.

I understand that some atheists can be hostile, perhaps attacking from a place of pain, but then there are indeed Christians who do the same thing to atheists.

In your specific situation, assuming that you're not provoking any kind of aggression from your atheist peers, I think the simple question of "why are you trying so hard to change me?" may give them pause (hopefully).

I've known plenty of wonderful atheists who take the same "live and let live" approach that I do, there is room for co-existence and harmony amongst Christians, Agnostics, Atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists... you name it. We just all have to afford each other the same courtesies we would expect to be given to ourselves.

I hope by now the situation has improved, I wager by now you have graduated or are close to it. Either way, hope things are going well for you.

PeterJB · Aug 22, 2013

I've met quite a few hostile atheists in my time (most of which over the Internet here they feel protected by a sense of anonymity), and while they think they're giving a logical response against religion, they're in fact giving an emotional response. They express an unwillingness to believe because of moral restrictions more than not being convinced of God's existence of Jesus' divinity. It's no surprise that one of the first issues that's brought up is that of sexual freedom.

The majority of the secular community I have encountered are what I'd call 'practical' atheists, people who are atheists not because they have been debating it for several or subscribing to atheist literature, but because God or religion is something that has never really been a big part of their life. These people are easier to discuss it with because they have fewer hostilities towards religion already in place than explicit atheists, and probably a poorer understanding of it religion too.

Whereas explicit atheists will rarely accept what you have to say, and it will refuse most of it on moral grounds instead of logical ones. It surprises me when I debate with atheists how much stuff we agree on about morality, and history and evolution, and yet we come up with completely opposite conclusions about God, as if one is walking on a knife-edge.

What I want is for everybody to get along, regardless of belief. but there are people on both sides of the fence that are making that very difficult. There is the threat of radical Islam on one side, and the encroaching social and political secularization of the western world on the other. I am not one to decide who is and isn't going to Heaven, I'll let God be the judge of that.

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