ok...maybe you people are tired of me doing this...but I want to know what your response to this beginning is. Does it make you want to read more?
Does it raise any questions? If so, what questions does it raise?
What do you think of the character?
And of course add any other comments. This is a work in progress...so I will be making changes.
ok...now finally here it is:
A thin stream of blood dripped down Dragonflame's face--blood filled with memories. Hastily, she wiped the blood away, drawing her cloak closer around her raw skin to protect it from the evening wind. How long had it been since she was last here, in this spot? How long?
Dragonflame couldn't remember.
Carefully she wiped away another trickle of blood that had broken through her tattered skin.
It had been a long time.
Tears filled her eyes as she sunk down at the base of a tree; had the world always been so beautiful? Or did her new freedom cause her to see things in a way she never thought possible. Perhaps she had forgotten the simple beauty of a forest.
The forest. This forest. How many years had passed since that day? Since TiramTiram. The name that seemed to rise from the forgotten depths of her memory seemed so familiar.
But why?
Who was Tiram?
Who was Dragonflame?
She was sure that the name was hersit was all she had to hold on to.
"Dragonflame." She whispered the word, just to hear it. It sounded like such a strong name; she could hardly believe that it could belong to a battered girl stumbling through the woods in a stolen cloak.
She climbed to her feet gingerly, wincing as she pushed against the tree for support. Dragonflame knew that she probably wouldnt be able to go on for much longerbut she had to continue; she was not going to give up her hard-earned freedom.
Her life was going to end soonthat Dragonflame was sure ofbut she wasnt going to let herself die in the clutches of those monsters.
So she had to keep going.
Feeble step by feeble step she limped, driven only by the knowedge that if she stoped she would be captured.
Dragonflame.
Tiram.
Would she ever understand the mystery?
It seemed unlikely.
This forestit was a piece of the puzzle. So were Tiram, Dragonflame, and fire.
But how did they fit together?
Why did they fit together?
Were those voices?
She froze. Yes, those were voices. People were coming.
She wanted to hide. She didnt want to have anything to do with these people; they could be looking for her. Maybe they wanted to take her back.
But something compelled her to stay. A forgotten memoryanother piece to the puzzle? Or was it a trick?
She didnt care. She pulled the hood of her cloak up to hide her disfigured face, and hid behind a tree.
But she was too late. A young woman found her and approached cautiously. "Are are you hurt?"
Dragonflame shook her head and stepped back, wary of this gentle newcomer.
"Please. I want to help you."
She shook her head harder. "No."
"Let me help youdo you want to die out here?"
She didnt respond.
"I cant let you die."
She took another step backwards, but stumbled and fell. She didnt notice that the hood fell back revealing not only her beaten face, but her bright red hair.
She didnt notice, but the young woman did. The newcomer stared in disbelief, fumbling for words. "Dragon?" she finally said. "Dragonflame, is it really you?"
This girl. A kitten. A frozen lake. A castle. Dragonflame was with this new girl, the girl who now stood silent with tears in her eyes. And Tiram. Tiram was there. And then she understood: Tiram was the key. He was the one who could help her put this puzzle together.
"Where wheres Tiram?" Dragonflame forced the words out, and then became aware that she was falling. Was she dying? She didn't know.
She was faintly aware that she was numb with fear before everything went black.
Does it raise any questions? If so, what questions does it raise?
What do you think of the character?
And of course add any other comments. This is a work in progress...so I will be making changes.
ok...now finally here it is:
A thin stream of blood dripped down Dragonflame's face--blood filled with memories. Hastily, she wiped the blood away, drawing her cloak closer around her raw skin to protect it from the evening wind. How long had it been since she was last here, in this spot? How long?
Dragonflame couldn't remember.
Carefully she wiped away another trickle of blood that had broken through her tattered skin.
It had been a long time.
Tears filled her eyes as she sunk down at the base of a tree; had the world always been so beautiful? Or did her new freedom cause her to see things in a way she never thought possible. Perhaps she had forgotten the simple beauty of a forest.
The forest. This forest. How many years had passed since that day? Since TiramTiram. The name that seemed to rise from the forgotten depths of her memory seemed so familiar.
But why?
Who was Tiram?
Who was Dragonflame?
She was sure that the name was hersit was all she had to hold on to.
"Dragonflame." She whispered the word, just to hear it. It sounded like such a strong name; she could hardly believe that it could belong to a battered girl stumbling through the woods in a stolen cloak.
She climbed to her feet gingerly, wincing as she pushed against the tree for support. Dragonflame knew that she probably wouldnt be able to go on for much longerbut she had to continue; she was not going to give up her hard-earned freedom.
Her life was going to end soonthat Dragonflame was sure ofbut she wasnt going to let herself die in the clutches of those monsters.
So she had to keep going.
Feeble step by feeble step she limped, driven only by the knowedge that if she stoped she would be captured.
Dragonflame.
Tiram.
Would she ever understand the mystery?
It seemed unlikely.
This forestit was a piece of the puzzle. So were Tiram, Dragonflame, and fire.
But how did they fit together?
Why did they fit together?
Were those voices?
She froze. Yes, those were voices. People were coming.
She wanted to hide. She didnt want to have anything to do with these people; they could be looking for her. Maybe they wanted to take her back.
But something compelled her to stay. A forgotten memoryanother piece to the puzzle? Or was it a trick?
She didnt care. She pulled the hood of her cloak up to hide her disfigured face, and hid behind a tree.
But she was too late. A young woman found her and approached cautiously. "Are are you hurt?"
Dragonflame shook her head and stepped back, wary of this gentle newcomer.
"Please. I want to help you."
She shook her head harder. "No."
"Let me help youdo you want to die out here?"
She didnt respond.
"I cant let you die."
She took another step backwards, but stumbled and fell. She didnt notice that the hood fell back revealing not only her beaten face, but her bright red hair.
She didnt notice, but the young woman did. The newcomer stared in disbelief, fumbling for words. "Dragon?" she finally said. "Dragonflame, is it really you?"
This girl. A kitten. A frozen lake. A castle. Dragonflame was with this new girl, the girl who now stood silent with tears in her eyes. And Tiram. Tiram was there. And then she understood: Tiram was the key. He was the one who could help her put this puzzle together.
"Where wheres Tiram?" Dragonflame forced the words out, and then became aware that she was falling. Was she dying? She didn't know.
She was faintly aware that she was numb with fear before everything went black.