Ok, this may seem like a strange question, but I want to know if we are allowed to pray to have someone else. Let me clarify, please read on...
I am a devoit Christian. Unfortunately, I am not free of sin. I try to pray everyday for an hour or more. I usually pray the Rosary, my own prayers, and Christ's prayer given to St. Brigit.
I am a male of 28 years of age and I have to admit unfortunately that I have had problems in my past with lust and have had issues with touching yourself. Although I'm happy to say I'm breaking free of these urges, I've been praying hard and have become clear of lust (maybe 99% free so far). Anyways... I am still a virgin and am saving myself for when I get married.
My life long goal has been to find a soulmate. I've had this goal since pre kindergarden (strange isn't it?!
). I've always felt lonely in life ever since I was a little kid. I feel as though there is someone out there for me and I've felt this way ever since I could think.
I have tremendous love for our Lord Jesus Christ and our Dear God as well as the Virgin Mary and all that is Good. I don't feel deprived of love from my Eternal Father, Our Lord, or our Queen Mary.
But I do feel an emptiness in me which I have always known would be filled by a soulmate (wife) in this world.
I saw this young lady in church and she is a very devout Christian. She is also extremely beautiful. I am preparing myself (I know that sounds wierd) to be able to meet her and perhaps see if things can lead further.
What my question is is that is it ok to pray to have someone? I have asked God if she could be my soul mate in this world. Is this wrong?
I'm not lusting over this young lady. Interestingly enough, I don't look at her that way. If you ask me what size chest she has, I have no idea even though I see her each Sunday in church. I can tell you that she's skinny, but I have never looked over her physical body in the way I may have when I was younger. The only thing I really can remember about her is her face. Her smile and her eyes. I keep thinking about how incredible it would be for us to be soul mates.
Most guys day dream about their wedding night and "consumating" the marrige. I'm dreaming about my wedding night and praying with her. I keep dreaming about praying the rosary together and teaching each other different prayers and praying in union together praising the Lords Name (Amen!
) and doing so for the rest of our lives together.
Is it wrong to ask for such things or is it ok? My intentions are on the purest of levels.