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Any secular justification for "Defense of Marriage"?

Roonwit

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Ok, fair enough. But you must at least acknowledge that this is your preference, having considered the evidence. Other people are entitled to a different preference. And, from a secular point of view, neither preference is particularly better than the other.

What impacts marrage more is people marrying in haste, or thinking they can change their spouse after marrying them. I have seen more bad or ruinned marrages from this then anything else. You want to save marrage, focues on that and not SSM.
I'd see it as both/and rather than either/or.

Roonwit
 
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Cearbhall

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With regard to US law, you are right that I am not familiar with the recent case law on the subject, so I was dealing with the common law heritage shared with the UK.
That's perfectly understandable, but I'm informing you that this is not how US law works. Shared heritage does not trump modern precedent.
This website makes me feel sheltered, ironically. I know that this mindset exists, but I fortunately have not really encountered it. What on Earth...
 
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Those arguments are extraordinarily poor. Stupid even, basing it all on the consent of animals as if animals consent to anything period including their capture and detainment from nature.

Also, siblings could simply adopt. It's no different then gays, but there is a moral issue in it even still where you say isn't in homosexuals.

Essentially, you base the reckoning of gay marriage based on the sheer desire for one to want it legal, the same as if society became bent on wanting horses and men to marry.

It doesn't affect my marriage at all, and neither does a crime downtown, a pink teacup orbiting Mars or a standoff in Mexico. That's just a complete non-argument.
 
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Paulos23

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Having considered the evidence, I see no reason to make it illegal. And that is all you have given, is preference and opinion, not much fact.

I'd see it as both/and rather than either/or.

Roonwit

Fair enough. But I say it still stands that both reasons are bigger threats to the inistution of marrage then SSM.
 
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Paulos23

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So what? Just because you interpreate the Bible to say that SSM is a sin that it should be illegal? You have shown no harm. I have shown harm for the other two. You haven't even given that.

Like I said, it does no harm, it can help stablize society by having more couples that can adopt and/or have one stay at home. There is no downside to this.
 
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Cearbhall

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What I do know is that the European Court of Human Rights, which is possibly the most liberal court in the world, refused to rule that there is a right to same sex marriage in countries that have not explicitly permitted it by statute.
That's fine, in my opinion. Every country has a different culture, different constitutional rights, and different precedent regarding marriage. In the US, however, we don't have anything in place that justifies banning SSM.
It's particularly notable that the federal government was even willing to overstep its boundaries and force interracial marriage on the few remaining states that forbade it.
 
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The majority of HIV exists among homosexuals. Trying to say it is natural is an exercise in futility, which is why it is virtually non-existent in nature and why the psychology books were basically forced into submitting homosexuality as something different for anti-discrimination.

There is a major downside to it, as it's going against nature. Homosexuality tripled over the past thirty years, it's bad influence on culture altogether. Men and women becoming so adversarial that homosexuality has become the fallout for many people. Society should be trying to fix the former and not support the latter.
 
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Paulos23

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This website makes me feel sheltered, ironically. I know that this mindset exists, but I fortunately have not really encountered it. What on Earth...

It is out there, even in the big cities. I still run into it, which is a shock.
 
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Paulos23

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You should look at the numbers, by this argument all women should be lesbians since they have the lowest number of HIV cases in the US. And across the world this is just untrue with the largest numbers of infections being from Hetrosexual contact.


It is clear you are stuck in church propaganda from the 80's and 90's. I remember when my Christian friends told me this. Then I had them meet some gay folks and they rethought what they where told.

The reason gays are adversarial, is because Christians are advesarial to them. When Christians stop being advesarial, they will stop as well.
 
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Roonwit

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Paulos23 said:
For the US you may want to look up Loving v. Virginia, in the US it is the primary case used to show that marrage is a right. Most of the arguements you have used had been used in that case, except it was for not allowing interracal marrage.
Interesting. In truth, I'm not sure how they managed to use the 14th Amendment to support that case, although there is a difference with SSM in that the Virginia laws were statutes that were introduced by Virginia, and therefore it could be enquired into the reasons for doing so, and those reasons could be judged unconstitutional as they were against the spirit in which those constitutional provisions were enacted. That cannot be done with marriage as a whole, which is an institution whose origins go back long before the existence of the US, UK or even the Roman law (out of which UK law first arose), and was certainly not framed with regard to the specific exclusion of SSM. Moreover, there is no reason to suppose that discussion of marriage in the constitution was intended in a sense other than that of one man and one woman, since that would have been the universal understanding of the term at the time.

You say that the arguments I have used were used in that case, but I can't see how they would be the same, since it is physically possible for an interracial couple to bear a child, while it is not physically possible for a same-sex couple to do so.

Anyway, it is interesting that some judgements have used this case in reference to SSM, although also interesting that some judgements have refused to do so. It'll be interesting to see what the Supreme Court makes of it. As I look at it, from a brief skim through, it seems like such a judgement would have to be based in ideology, not with any real basis in law or the constitution. I think if the court makes a judgement here it is probably overreaching itself. This is a matter for the legislature, not the courts.

Roonwit
 
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Queller

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How in the world is "some people don't want to make the change" an argument against SSM?


Traditional marriage is still the norm in society. Likely it will always be. 2nd marriages, step-marriages, same-sex marriages, post-child-bearing marriages, childless by choice marriages, etc. will always be non-normative. That those arrangements are not the norm isn't an argument that justifies making any one of those arrangements illegal.

By changing the definition of marriage, you change the ideal, because you introduce a type of marriage that can never, even in principle, meet that ideal.
Just as 2nd marriages, step-marriages, post-child-bearing marriages, childless by choice marriages, etc. don't meet that ideal.

That doesn't follow. Why can't a same-sex couple be considered a "second-best" option like adoption and step-parenting?

[quotw] As I said, in a secular society, if the people want to change their definitions in this way, they can. But I think the people should be made properly aware of the changes they are making before they make them, which in the UK has not happened. It is claimed that allowing SSM doesn't affect heterosexuals at all, but that's not true.
[/quote] Why not? Give one example of how same-sex marriage has affected heterosexuals in the context of this discussion.

This is a change that profoundly affects the way society thinks about marriage, parenthood and child-rearing, and it should be properly thought through before being enacted.
I disagree with the part in bold because a same-sex couple raising a child is no different than other adoptive parents or step-parents.

I also disagree with your implication that people who support same-sex marriage haven't thought it through first.
 
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Queller

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Except that it isn't the only way for same-sex couples have children. One member of a same-sex couple can have a biological child and the other can adopt that child. Exactly like two step-parents.
 
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Queller

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I am justified in saying that unless we also include consideration of polygamy, and can explain why marriage should be changed to allow SSM but not polygamy, then we should keep the definition of marriage unchanged.
Sorry but that doesn't logically follow.

For one thing, polygamous marriages will require rewriting every law that pertains to marriage. Same-sex marriage does not require anything more than changing the words "husband" and "wife" on a marriage license to "spouse 1" and "spouse 2".
 
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Cearbhall

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It is therefore reasonable for people to enquire into the nature of that change, and ask whether that is a change we really want to make. And many don't.

You asked for a secular argument against SSM. That is a pretty solid one.
Not in the United States of America, thank goodness. You need an actual reason, not just a desire.
 
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Queller

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Ok, well since I have provided a solid secular justification for rejecting SSM, the thread could really now be closed. And proponents of SSM should stop claiming that only religious people can have any objections to it.
Where did you provide a "solid secular justification for rejecting SSM"? It can't be anything to do with children because having children is not a requirement for children nor are children the reason the government sanctions marriage. It also was definitely not in post #108.

You have given no reason to think that same-sex marriage would be any worse for children than 2nd marriages, step-marriages, or any other type of legal marriage other than first marriages. You have just asserted that it is so.

I don't recall marriage having been defined to exclude interracial marriage. It may have been socially unacceptable in some places, but it would still have been understood as marriage.
Interracial marriage was explicitly forbidden by law for more than 200 years in many states in the US.

The discussion is about what kind of norms we want to have in our society (in the US at least).

Why do you exclude 2nd marriages, step-marriages, etc. from your argument? They have the exact same effect on children being raised by their biological parents as does same-sex marriage.

Earlier you were claiming that unless proponents of same-sex marriage also considered polygamy, we should let marriage stay unchanged. By your logic then, unless opponents of of same-sex marriage also consider 2nd marriages, step-marriages, post-childbearing marriages, and childless by choice marriages and explain why they should not be made illegal but same-sex marriages should be illegal, then we should change the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples.

There is nothing special about the number two in marriage in and of itself. However, the entire legal framework of marriage is based on their being only two participants. If that entire framework can be successfully changed to encompass multiple partners, I have absolutely no problem with polygamous/polyamorous marriages. But don't pretend that changing the law to encompass them is a simple as it is for same-sex marriages.

Moreover, you should also explain why marriage is still being regarded as something for life.
Because (most) people who enter into marriage desire it to be that way.

That statement goes to the very heart of the problem, at least in the US. Here, no state offers a civil union that exactly matches the rights, privileges, and protections as those offered by marriage.

Also, here in the US most people have a cultural distate for any governmental institution that smacks of "separate but equal".
 
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Queller

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It isn't based on their sexual orientation, it is based on the fact that the relationships they want to have recognised do not fulfill the conditions required for a marriage.
What, specifically, are the conditions required for marriage?

Please note that if a condition is required for marriage, then marriage cannot happen without it.
 
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Cearbhall

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Cearbhall,

That there is nothing in statute defining marriage is irrelevant.
It's really not. It's all that matters. We are not legally obligated to make sure that our intentions match up with centuries-old traditions. You seem to be in favor of enlarging the government's role when it comes to marriage.
Therefore ancient traditions don't need to be codified to be understood. Murder isn't defined in statute either, but we all know what it is.
Murder is prosecuted according to codified murder laws, just like anything else.
 
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Queller

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No, it doesn't suck, it's just that you don't like its conclusion. It's actually a pretty solid argument.
It is not a solid argument because you don't apply it to all similarly situated couples equally.
 
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Cearbhall

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You said it yourself: two people. I don't understand why you think that two same-sex people brings us any closer to a three-person marriage than an opposite-sex couple. 2 and 2 are exactly the same distance from 3.

The key here is that I don't want to change anything. We don't need to. An opposite-sex legal marriage isn't any more about procreation than a same-sex legal marriage, so a same-sex marriage doesn't lead us to polygamy any more than an opposite-sex marriage. Legalizing SSM does not take away from the focus on children, because that focus doesn't exist in a legal sense in the first place. Current opposite-sex marriages are about love. Current same-sex marriages are about love. If some people attach additional meaning to their marriages and the institution in general, that's fine, but it is not legally recognized.
 
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