Angry/Guilty/Frazzled

epiclesis · Sep 7, 2011

When I started taking good quality b-complex vitamins, I started doing a lot better.

I've struggled a lot. I couldn't nurse, I hated that I couldn't... I got pregnant about 4 months post partum and am going to have 2 kiddos 13 months apart. (I'm due in about 3 weeks) ... I've been there. the meltdowns, the screaming, the everything.

Combine some vitamins with babywearing and it might get a LITTLE bit easier.

FaithPrevails · Sep 16, 2011

JRSut1000 said:
It's definitely possible, though I haven't actually been checked for it. I have an appointment next week with my OBGYN about a matter, so maybe he is the one to ask?

Did you ask your doctor about postpartum depression?

How is your baby doing? Any less fussy? If eating and sleeping are issues, I'm sure you are both frazzled. I've been praying that things have been getting easier for you.

One thing that we used to do when I worked with special needs infants was to supplement their bottles by adding some baby cereal to give them some extra calories. Has your pediatrician given you any helpful suggestions for dealing with the eating issues? I'm guessing sleep issues for the baby will resolve more when the eating issues can be addressed.

JRSut1000 · Sep 16, 2011

THank you so much for thinking of me! It's been a rather frustrated day, so my response is probably not going to be as chipper as normal. My little one pulled down a stand and lamp and got a pretty nasty cut near her eye. It was so unnerving, poor kid! And my husband blames me whenever she gets hurt because he thinks I need to watch her like a hawk and *sighs* I'll stop now and get back to the original topic.

She IS sleeping much better. Still gets up 1-2 times a night, but I can handle that. She's taking more formula but she basically refuses to swallow food (she'lll put it in her mouth, spit it out, touch it, and try to give it to me). I don't know what her weight is right now, can't remember but I do know that she's doing OK (still bordering that 5th percentile).

I was just thinking today and looking back on the pasts months with her and I can definitely say that for myself, I'm out of the cave of postpartum depression. I really do feel SO much better the last couple months, like I'm in a routine that works. The feeding thing is still the most frustrating thing on my plate (no pun intended) right now, but I'll manage and so will baby.

Thanks again SO much for asking!

FaithPrevails · Sep 16, 2011

Is she refusing finger foods, pureed baby foods, or both? My DD hated pureed baby food and refused to eat it. But, she didn't cut teeth until she was close to a year, so I had to wait to introduce finger foods. Fortunately, she loves food now, but I was worried when I was trying to introduce baby foods. If your DD is refusing both, I would discuss texture issues (research oral tactile defensiveness) with your pediatrician and consider a referral to a speech therapist to address the issues if you can't resolve them at home).

I'm sorry your DD got a cut. They can be so quick, even when we are right next to them and being extremely attentive.

Is this your first? Our DD is my hubby's first and I was the one watching her when she got her first injury when she started walking. The way he reacted you would have thought I intentionally let her bump her head. lol He's relaxed a little in that dept now.

JRSut1000 · Sep 16, 2011

All foods including baby food and finger foods. She will maybe take a bite or two, maybe swallow 2 spoonfulls, then she'll do the spit out, touch, hold out thing. I hope nothing is wrong, for about a month or two around 7-8 months, she was doing REALLY well with jar food (after much distraction of course), but not since then. She's pretty much on formula only.

Yes, this is our first child. She got a bruise (more like a black eye) on the same side like 2 weeks ago, and now a pretty intense cut (took like 5 minutes for the bleeding to completely stop). I'm sure we'll both loosen up as she gets older and especially when we have more children. But ya, he asked me what I was doing when she fell and I told him hanging pictures and he blamed me for not watching her. I know we mothers would go nuts if we had to prevent every bump n bruise, it's not just possible. But I'm sure he'll relax, just gotta give it time. He's a little uptight about things sometimes, but then again what am I talking about, so am I!

FaithPrevails · Sep 16, 2011

JRSut1000 said:
All foods including baby food and finger foods. She will maybe take a bite or two, maybe swallow 2 spoonfulls, then she'll do the spit out, touch, hold out thing. I hope nothing is wrong, for about a month or two around 7-8 months, she was doing REALLY well with jar food (after much distraction of course), but not since then. She's pretty much on formula only.

Check this out. Oral tactile defensiveness is not unusual and can typically be overcome with the right intervention.

Refusal of First Foods: Oral Sensory and Motor Feeding Problems in Infants and Children

Yes, this is our first child. She got a bruise (more like a black eye) on the same side like 2 weeks ago, and now a pretty intense cut (took like 5 minutes for the bleeding to completely stop). I'm sure we'll both loosen up as she gets older and especially when we have more children. But ya, he asked me what I was doing when she fell and I told him hanging pictures and he blamed me for not watching her. I know we mothers would go nuts if we had to prevent every bump n bruise, it's not just possible. But I'm sure he'll relax, just gotta give it time. He's a little uptight about things sometimes, but then again what am I talking about, so am I!

If he fusses at you, disarm him by saying, "I know, I know! I'm planning on wrapping her in bubble wrap so she won't get any more boo-boos." lol

JRSut1000 · Sep 16, 2011

Aww that's a perfect soft answer, thanks for the idea! (Instead of screaming back at him... )

I will do more research on the oral tactile defensiveness, it's one I have not yet looked up.

FaithPrevails · Sep 16, 2011

I'm certainly not attempting to diagnose your DD, but even if she doesn't have OTD, the strategies recommended for addressing it may be helpful.

I'm a "yeller", so I would probably yell back, too. lol

ex-pat · Sep 16, 2011

JRSut1000 said:
THank you so much for thinking of me! It's been a rather frustrated day, so my response is probably not going to be as chipper as normal. My little one pulled down a stand and lamp and got a pretty nasty cut near her eye. It was so unnerving, poor kid! And my husband blames me whenever she gets hurt because he thinks I need to watch her like a hawk and *sighs* I'll stop now and get back to the original topic.

Ouch. I think they all do that...I know I did, my brother did, my goddaughter did, her twin did....seconds of shocked surprise, then screams. We call it the learning curve.

I'm glad your little one is sleeping better, and I'll keep you in my prayers. It's so much easier when they get old enough to communicate! When my youngest goddaughter was maybe 8 months old, we had an "interesting" time over some variety of baby food I was supposed to be feeding her at a church event. She was never one to hide her opinions...one bite, and her little mouth sealed itself permanently...all the while her eyes were laughing at my attempts to get her to eat (you know, the airplanes, mimicking, telling her how good it really was, etc.) SO funny to see her just shake her head, sealed tight mouth, and laughing, laughing eyes. Even when the teens at church were trying to make her laugh or open her mouth, nothing doing. At 8 months, she just sat there, laughing at all of us. They have their own minds, for certain! I finally went up to her mother and asked if I could forget the tropical blend mush and go with another. The little monkey listened to my concession speech, then allowed me to feed her every last bit of the NEW baby food.

It's easier when they are laughing than when they are fussing, but it does get easier when they can give you some idea what's going on in their minds.

FaithPrevails · Sep 16, 2011

One little girl that I worked with refused to eat anything but pureed carrots. They can most definitely be finicky little stinkers.

ex-pat · Sep 16, 2011

And then their noses turn orange from the beta carotene! LOL

FaithPrevails · Sep 17, 2011

ex-pat said:
And then their noses turn orange from the beta carotene! LOL

Sure enough!

FaithPrevails · Sep 17, 2011

BTW, I've been awake since about 3:45 thanks to a teething toddler. I'm so napping when she naps this morning!

epiclesis · Sep 18, 2011

I introduced food to my kiddo a bit before 6 months. He wasn't having it. I tried so incredibly hard to get him to eat real food. Then for awhile he started to eat anything that WASN'T a puree. He really didn't like purees. Finally at about 11 months old, he started eating. And eating, and eating. And now he's 13 months and he doesn't stop eating!

Sometimes they're just not ready. It's not necessary for them to eat until a yearish.

FaithPrevails · Sep 18, 2011

That was pretty much the same experience I had with DD. It freaked me out a little bit b/c my boys were both "eaters" from an earlier age. But, I agree that each child is different.

ex-pat · Sep 18, 2011

"Experts" say that it can take SEVENTEEN tries before a baby decides if it likes any given food. Mind, I've never noticed this, nor have I even THOUGHT of counting the tries it takes before a baby agrees to eat the food without exploring taste, texture, and inherent "spitability" quotient, but it seems one can get grants to study anything.

Godsgirl79 · Oct 15, 2011

JRSut1000 said:
I'm married and have one child - the perfect life and what I've always wanted.

But I'm not coping well with the challenges at all. I've spent the better part of today flustered and yelling at my husband and baby. I have a low weight 10 month old and eating is a horrible battle all the time and sleeping can be too many times. It seems I've never had a phase or stage where I can say "I think I have this motherhood thing down, I'm good!". I just can't handle all the crying and the constant battles. I originally wanted more kids, we both did. But now I find myself not wanting ANY more kids if it's going to be like this. How on earth did I get like this? I feel horrible!

I wonder if the underweight thing is stressing you out? I suggest to not worry so much about the weight and trust the the baby will eat when he/she's ready to. I always got stressed out when bf because my babies never ate as long as wut the experts said they should, and at one point in time one lost more weight than the md wanted her to. However after several babies i've discovered that my babies were find they just didn't require as much and other than that one time there was no other concerns. But I got so stressed out and was so miserable because I had an expectation of how it should be. Once again I say (not knowing the whole situation) just try to leave your concerns at God's feet and instead of expecting things to be a certain way thank god and enjoy for the way they are. God Bless.

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