Aging

LoveConquers · Mar 19, 2014

akmom said:
True. But what about the new stressors? Like aging parents, health problems, saving for retirement? Does not each stage have stressors?

I think those are new stressors that are often faced in that age range -

However, because people have so much life experience by that time, I think they are better prepared to handle lifes trials and do better at not allowing it to affect them as much.

Inkachu · Mar 19, 2014

LoveConquers - I agree. Right now, so much of my focus and energy and time and emotions are invested in my immediate family; my husband, my son, our home, our finances, etc. I pray that no big crises come along right now, because I honestly don't think I could handle it, my plate already feels so full! I also have a dad who had me when he was 50 years old, so even though I'm only in my 30's, my dad is probably in his last days, and that's a huge stressor for me as well. I have a mixed bag of feelings about getting older; I look forward to life being more "settled", but not so much to the wrinkles and gray hair and stuff. Sigh.

ProudMomxmany · Mar 19, 2014

I discovered that once I hit 40, I started caring less and less about what others thought of me. That was the decade of "hell" though...my mother's illness and death, my husband's illness, some major life upheavals...I made it to 50 as of yesterday and I've discovered that I REALLY don't care anymore. I take care of myself, keep my hair something close to its original color, try to stay "done" BUT...I don't care much about many things. I no longer feel it necessary to be the perfect wife or mother, I really don't care much about the superficial things.

I'm rather liking getting older...physically I'm still in good shape, mentally I still think I'm about 16, and life is great!

Hetta · Mar 19, 2014

Belated happy birthday wishes ProudMom.

It's not so bad in the fifties. After the first shock, I stopped even thinking about it.

I'm rather liking getting older...physically I'm still in good shape, mentally I still think I'm about 16, and life is great!

I feel very much the same!

Inkachu · Mar 19, 2014

You ladies encourage me! Keep it up lol.

I about had a nervous breakdown when I hit 30. I hope it doesn't happen again at 40.

ValleyGal · Mar 19, 2014

Happy Belated Birthday, ProudMom! I'm turning 50 this year too, and I'm going through a bit of a time with it because of where I am in life. After my identity (and all my savings) were stolen, I had to start over. I'm not where I would have been had that not happened, and in my 40's I was in college as though I was just starting out at age 20. So it's been a bit of a struggle coming up on 50 and not being where I should be at this point in my life. I also struggle a little with my disabilities - walking is a challenge because of my accident and my genetic condition, and the older I get, the more of a challenge it will likely become. So my challenge isn't turning 50. My real challenge is coping with my disability.

ProudMomxmany · Mar 19, 2014

ValleyGal said:
Happy Belated Birthday, ProudMom! I'm turning 50 this year too, and I'm going through a bit of a time with it because of where I am in life. After my identity (and all my savings) were stolen, I had to start over. I'm not where I would have been had that not happened, and in my 40's I was in college as though I was just starting out at age 20. So it's been a bit of a struggle coming up on 50 and not being where I should be at this point in my life. I also struggle a little with my disabilities - walking is a challenge because of my accident and my genetic condition, and the older I get, the more of a challenge it will likely become. So my challenge isn't turning 50. My real challenge is coping with my disability.

I sorta know what you mean...the older I get the more my busted foot makes my life miserable. I really hate that I can't wear heels anymore at all and look like a real goober wearing tennis shoes all the time. However, being 50 now also helps with my refusal to put up with any baloney. My excuses are that I'm "too old, too fat, too grumpy and too impatient"!

And...thank you for the b-day wishes!

ValleyGal · Mar 19, 2014

ProudMomxmany said:
I sorta know what you mean...the older I get the more my busted foot makes my life miserable. I really hate that I can't wear heels anymore at all and look like a real goober wearing tennis shoes all the time. However, being 50 now also helps with my refusal to put up with any baloney. My excuses are that I'm "too old, too fat, too grumpy and too impatient"!

And...thank you for the b-day wishes!

lol! I hear you! I'm becoming much less tolerant of certain things, too.

I can't wear heels anymore either. My break was tib/fib jagged fractures on an angle just above and at my ankle, and several places in my foot. What a mess. Of course, the scars are so ugly that even in the middle of summer when it's 800 degrees out, I still wear long pants to cover the scars. It gets a little painful especially when it's cold/wet out. On those days, Yeah, I feel older than 50.

ProudMomxmany · Mar 19, 2014

ValleyGal said:
lol! I hear you! I'm becoming much less tolerant of certain things, too.

I can't wear heels anymore either. My break was tib/fib jagged fractures on an angle just above and at my ankle, and several places in my foot. What a mess. Of course, the scars are so ugly that even in the middle of summer when it's 800 degrees out, I still wear long pants to cover the scars. It gets a little painful especially when it's cold/wet out. On those days, Yeah, I feel older than 50.

Oh honey, don't hide those scars!!!! Just don't! Wear your battle scars with pride. They show you are a survivor. If people get weirded out about them, TOUGH STUFF!!!!

I have scars on my left knee in a few spots from repeated arthroscopies, an ACL replacement and an ACL revision. When its 110 degrees out and I have my shorts on...they are VERY obvious. I don't give a HOOT!!! I survived and rehabbed from an injury that sidelines professional athletes for longer than I was down!

Be loud and proud for being a survivor!!! The only scar that nobody sees is the roadmap of stretch marks courtesy of my children. BUT...if I wasn't so fluffy (as in an extra 60lbs of fluffy) I just might show those off too!

ValleyGal · Mar 19, 2014

If it was just the operational scars, I would not be so upset about it, but I have a buildup of subcutaneous scar tissue where it was compounded (the bone was exposed outside my skin. And where the infection drained, there is a very large area where necrosis is now happening (tissue death makes it turn black) which is also subcutaneous. Honestly, it is hideous. Maybe I'll post a picture on the women's forum.

I got kinda "fluffy" since my accident, too, which doesn't help the pain, which is why I don't exercise as much as I should....and it all spirals out of control. *sigh*

Autumnleaf · Mar 19, 2014

Younger people are poorer because they have not lived long enough to start making good money, they inherit less money than older people and the jobs out there for younger people don't pay well these days.

Poor = stress.

akmom · Mar 20, 2014

I can believe that money alone might be a big stress factor, since people usually don't make much when they start out.

We started with very little when we got married, but it wasn't a point of stress for us. I think that was because we were used to living that way, and we knew what we could and couldn't afford. And honestly, we didn't think we'd be in that situation for long, and we weren't. Now that I look back, I don't think I could live at that income again without tremendous stress. And I also think getting out of it involved more luck than we realized at the time. So yes, I agree starter incomes might be a common source of stress for 30-year-olds.

Inkachu · Mar 20, 2014

VG - I would've said the same thing (don't hide those scars, be proud!), but since you said that necrosis is currently happening, I'm assuming the surgery was relatively recent and you're still healing? I CAN understand wanting to keep that covered for now.

I had to chuckle at the comments about high heels, I haven't been able to wear those since I was in my 20's lol. I developed plantar fasciitis (chronic heel pain) when I was just 22 years old, so after that, high heels were OUT for me. I can't even wear flats or most dress shoes unless they have major cushioning or gel insoles. Even with sneakers or specially designed shoes, I'm in pain most of the time. Talk about feeling old way before my time! I've gotten so used to the pain, though, it really doesn't phase me unless it's really bad.

And happy belated birthday, ProudMom!

Annessa3 · Mar 20, 2014

happy birthday Proud Mom!

VG- and everyone else- please don't be self-concious about your scars. They're just Not Important.

I have been obese for most of my life. I decided way early that it wasn't going to stop me from wearing a bathing suit on the beach, shorts to the store, etc. If other people have a problem, it's their problem, not mine.

Comfort, that's my style. Heels- pish! I have been a nurse for 30+ years and trust me when I tell you that wearing nursing shoes with good support and comfort is far more important on those 12 hr shifts-- and that wearing those shoes for so many hours, so many years makes high heels not possible. And I don't miss it! Dress up means a 2 in wedge max, or a low heel. Stiletto girl I will never be again.

I'm getting close to 60, just divorced and have a knee in need of replacement. What others think of the way I look doesn't matter. I miss my stamina walking- I'm only good for a mile now a days before the pain gets crippling.

And 'they' weren't kidding-- everything starts to fall apart at 40!

Inkachu · Mar 20, 2014

Nooo, don't tell me that! I want more than a few more years before I start falling apart! OH, who am I kidding? I'm already falling apart

ValleyGal · Mar 20, 2014

Oh, yes! I was 43 when I had to get reading glasses.

Inkachu · Mar 20, 2014

I haven't been able to see clearly since I was maybe 21? LOL I just refuse to acknowledge any of this stuff. I plow ahead like a mule. Problems? What problems?

ProudMomxmany · Mar 20, 2014

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.

Somehow, some evil bug has gotten hold of me today. I do not like you little bug, I do not like you at all. Little bug, you need to go away, go find another host.

Inkachu · Mar 20, 2014

Evil bug as in, like a bad mood, or like a sickness? I hope it's not the latter

ProudMomxmany · Mar 20, 2014

Inkachu said:
Evil bug as in, like a bad mood, or like a sickness? I hope it's not the latter

Sick. Headache, sore throat, feel like crud. Time for more Nyquil and Motrin and go back to bed.

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