Before I start, let me tell you that my friend is a wonderful woman. She is kind hearted, beautiful, and has a very deep love for God.
Several years ago her husband moved the family out of the state where she had grown up. Once gone, her husband started doing unspeakable things. She was very miserable, and very lonely. She eventually had enough. She could take it no longer. So she packed up her children, and she moved back home. She thought that maybe the seperation would do them good.
She worked hard. Both day and night. She struggled to make ends meet, but yet she always put her children first. She lived for those kids. She doesn't believe in Daycare, so she took on a job where she could also bring them. She didn't make much money, so on the weekends she would take on odd jobs of catering, or cleaning someone elses house. Always the children would pitch in. The three of them were one happy family, and when you were around them, you could feel the love they each had with each other.
One day my friend sat in front of me and told me that she had met a man. Mind you, she is a christian woman, and this is totally out of her character. But yet this man made her happy. When she was with him her eyes woud sparkle. She would laugh. And you could tell that they were very much in love.
But yet, she was a Christian. And when she wasn't with this man, she was consumed with guilt. So when the year was over, she packed up her bags, and she went back to her husband. Never seeing her lover again. But she never stopped loving him. Sometimes she would just sit staring out the window with this far away look on her face, and you could tell she was thinking about him. But she stayed true to her husband, and never once looked up this other man.
Years later they moved back to her home town. The kids are grown now. All she has is her husband and her love for God. But she is very unhappy. Her husband leaves her constantly. At least five nights of the week he is out with the guys. Sometimes not even coming home until the wee hours of the morning.
The other day I was over at her house, and her telephone rung. It only rung once. Just a very short ring. When I looked over at her she had this wistful smile on her face, and tears were coming from her eyes. When I questioned her about it, she informed me that she had found this man that she once loved. She hadn't seen him, nor did she talk to him. All she did was call him and let the phone ring once. It was always there way of letting the other know that they were being thought about. When one was busy at work, and couldn't talk, the other would call and let the phone only ring once. It was silly, but it was there thing.
My friend is totally unhappy. Her husband treats her with utter disrespect. She misses her children, and she just found out that she is sick. She made a committment to God years ago to never betray her husband again. And she has stuck by that committment through thick and thin. But she is so unhappy. She lifts up her arms, and she praises God, but there is no joy in her eyes. She's totally given up everything for what she believes in.
I want my friend to be happy. She has always been her for everyone. She has (almost) always done the right thing. She constantly puts others first. And everyone seems to constantly put her last.
I myself don't believe in divorce. Nor do I believe that cheating on your spouse is something one should do. But it breaks my heart to see her so unhappy. And it breaks my heart to know that the man she loves is still out there, and he still loves her. I want so bad to tell her to go to him, but yet that would go against everything we both believe in. So what should I do? How can I help her? Right now she is battling right and wrong, and I just don't have the answers for her. Please help, and please don't judge my friend. Like I said, she is one of the most wonderful women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Several years ago her husband moved the family out of the state where she had grown up. Once gone, her husband started doing unspeakable things. She was very miserable, and very lonely. She eventually had enough. She could take it no longer. So she packed up her children, and she moved back home. She thought that maybe the seperation would do them good.
She worked hard. Both day and night. She struggled to make ends meet, but yet she always put her children first. She lived for those kids. She doesn't believe in Daycare, so she took on a job where she could also bring them. She didn't make much money, so on the weekends she would take on odd jobs of catering, or cleaning someone elses house. Always the children would pitch in. The three of them were one happy family, and when you were around them, you could feel the love they each had with each other.
One day my friend sat in front of me and told me that she had met a man. Mind you, she is a christian woman, and this is totally out of her character. But yet this man made her happy. When she was with him her eyes woud sparkle. She would laugh. And you could tell that they were very much in love.
But yet, she was a Christian. And when she wasn't with this man, she was consumed with guilt. So when the year was over, she packed up her bags, and she went back to her husband. Never seeing her lover again. But she never stopped loving him. Sometimes she would just sit staring out the window with this far away look on her face, and you could tell she was thinking about him. But she stayed true to her husband, and never once looked up this other man.
Years later they moved back to her home town. The kids are grown now. All she has is her husband and her love for God. But she is very unhappy. Her husband leaves her constantly. At least five nights of the week he is out with the guys. Sometimes not even coming home until the wee hours of the morning.
The other day I was over at her house, and her telephone rung. It only rung once. Just a very short ring. When I looked over at her she had this wistful smile on her face, and tears were coming from her eyes. When I questioned her about it, she informed me that she had found this man that she once loved. She hadn't seen him, nor did she talk to him. All she did was call him and let the phone ring once. It was always there way of letting the other know that they were being thought about. When one was busy at work, and couldn't talk, the other would call and let the phone only ring once. It was silly, but it was there thing.
My friend is totally unhappy. Her husband treats her with utter disrespect. She misses her children, and she just found out that she is sick. She made a committment to God years ago to never betray her husband again. And she has stuck by that committment through thick and thin. But she is so unhappy. She lifts up her arms, and she praises God, but there is no joy in her eyes. She's totally given up everything for what she believes in.
I want my friend to be happy. She has always been her for everyone. She has (almost) always done the right thing. She constantly puts others first. And everyone seems to constantly put her last.
I myself don't believe in divorce. Nor do I believe that cheating on your spouse is something one should do. But it breaks my heart to see her so unhappy. And it breaks my heart to know that the man she loves is still out there, and he still loves her. I want so bad to tell her to go to him, but yet that would go against everything we both believe in. So what should I do? How can I help her? Right now she is battling right and wrong, and I just don't have the answers for her. Please help, and please don't judge my friend. Like I said, she is one of the most wonderful women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.