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Advice?

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Lady Knight

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I'm dating a guy who is in college going through with ROTC and when he graduates next may he'll be an office. Right now he's at ldac(?) for the month. We've been dating for 10 months now and this will be the longest we've been apart. I know its just a taste of whats to come when he has to get shipped off later but...Is there any advice on keeping sane while he's gone?

I have no car (due to a car wreck in dec, my boyfriend has been my primary source of getting around lately ), most friends live to far away(due to college) to come and hang out for the day, and my work hours have been cut drastically. I've got a letter to mail out to him but since its sunday I'll have to wait till tomorrow to send it....The only problem is some times I feel to clingy and I know he wont have time to answer the letters..I know I do have relationship issues due to previous issues..I just dont want to drive him insane while trying to keep my self sane XD if any of that makes sense...I'd appreciate the advice...
 

katautumn

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LadyKnight said:
Is there any advice on keeping sane while he's gone?
Click to expand...

This may sound incredibly trite, but perhaps you could take up a new hobby. When I was recovering from self-injury and struggling with my depression and agoraphobia, I found that the one thing that kept my mind somewhat distracted was knitting. That's why I started that hobby, as a means to keep me sane. Now I really love doing it and moved on to spinning my own yarn and dyeing my own fibers. It's a lot of fun. And a hobby doesn't have to be expensive, either. There are lots of things to distract your mind during those times that are totally free. Another thing that kept my mind from wandering was playing escape the room games at sites like Gamers' Hood.
 
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Luther073082

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Perhaps this is good for you in the long run. If you where clingy before this may teach you to exist without having your boyfriend attached to you at the hip.

I would say you need to have friends and hobbies. You will still definatly miss him, up until I got married my entire relationship was LDR. I was in Northern Indiana, she was in Flordia. I flew to see her about once every 2 months.

You will definatly have to find a way to keep yourself entertained while he's gone. But at the same time you can't get so caught up in the life you are living to forget about him. Its a difficult and delicate balance.
 
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M

moreruthlessjezebel

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Its hard to give specific advice without knowing what you're into or if there are any alternatives that even you might not know about or what your situation is in general -- city? country? What kinda college? How much green space do you have?

Sooo, I'll just shoot wildly into the darkness and hope I hit something. :D

My boyfriend and I don't get to see each other much due to working opposing shifts and distance, but he's constantly on my mind. I can't get enough of the dude, to be honest. If I could, I would club him over the head, throw him in my trunk and kidnap him but alas, it is for not... So, here's a few of my alternatives to drifting off into google eyed land.

- Running! -- I'm actually in my workout shorts right now about to walk/jog/run/collapse/wheeze a few miles. Bust out the TobyMac, Me in Motion and Highland bagpipes and I could go for a loooong while. It doesn't make me not think about him, but getting exercise and staying healthy (or getting healthier even) have too many benefits from keeping your hormones in check, skeletal-muscle support and generally feeling better.

Bible Study! !
Yeah, I know no one wants to hear it, but if you can get a copy of the ESV (or get it online), you could easily spend hours upon hours pouring over the Word of God. Seriously. Looking over at the clock and realizing its two am and actually HAVING to close it - yeah. o_o

There's also painting, drawing, sculpting, crochet, writing, cleaning and reorganizing the living space, gardening (though we're on the tail end of seed season for autumn veggies -- PLANT A WHITE PUMPKIN! Why? Coz. Theeey look cool. -nodnod- Otherwise getting some flowers neither of you are allergic too is an idea too I guess ), reading, studying, worshiping, volunteering, witnessing, praying, meditating and SO ON. I would not recommend lazing around on a video game all day though. D:

Remember though, that even in our relationships, God should come first ALWAYS. It sounds difficult I know, but consider the time away a blessing in that you can focus more on you and your Savior. That's why Paul adored being single so much, I think. He'll be home safe and sound with you soon, but time apart makes time together all that much more special.
 
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Lady Knight

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Luther073082 said:
Perhaps this is good for you in the long run. If you where clingy before this may teach you to exist without having your boyfriend attached to you at the hip.
Click to expand...
He'll never say i'm clingy, AJ(my bf) always just says its because I love him that much and dosent mind, but some times I wonder if he isnt just saying that. Also it some times stems from my past 2 relationships.


Probably the best put advice so far. Thanks I already do some of that but the exercising thing would help a lot. Epically since he plans on getting me to work out with him when he comes home XD
 
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danstar

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me and my gf are in a LDR its hard but lots of phone calls and seeing each other from time to time defintely does help, just keep yourself distracted it really does help to pass the time when your really missing him
 
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Lady Knight

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It wouldn't be as hard if I could talk to himevery now and then. But since He's going through LDAC( i think thats how to spell it? idk AJ never showed me XD) he's not allowed to have his phone and most of the time he's to busy to get to a pay-phone. I've written him a letter or two but I know he probably wont have time to answer, at least not for another week or so. He was supposed to have a PT test today, and ether wednesday or thursday landnav.
 
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