Hello guys!
I am in need of some advice regarding my weakness with same sex attraction. So I have all my life basically dealt with this and I have never lost my faith in Jesus because I know how much he has sacrificed for me and accepted me even with my big failures in life towards that same sin. I cannot count the numbers of times I've messed up mostly with gay porn and sometimes but in more rare occasions, dealing with other gay guys secretly, although the Holy Spirit has never let me go too far with it... I am today 24 years old, still a believer in Christ and go to church and commute with all my partners in faith, even a leader in some small groups. But lately I've had this uncomfortable feeling inside because of a situation that is not easy for me...
So I have been always encouraged by my leaders and family that know about my background in homosexuality, not to reveal my struggles to the whole crowd of believers but only to close friends that are christian and that may help me grow. And recently I have met this guy who was a missionary and I helped translate for him for like 2 weeks here in Dominican. He left and I was trying to be really careful not to develop any feelings for this guy that was very outgoing and always expressed how much he appreciated my new friendship. He doesn't seem to have the same weakness as me, still I don't know, but since he left he has been talking to me a lot and he is very freindly and present at all times. He appreciates a lot my friendship and counseling in his life but I'm a little scared for me cause I feel like I'm getting strongly attracted to him and sometimes I find myself trying to not let my mind wonder about us together as something else than just brothers in Christ. He is a little younger than me and as he is not yet that much of a really close friend of mine, I dont want to just go and tell him yet about me. But its been so painful having to talk to him almost daily and hide away these feelings, and I wish sometimes I could just stop talking to him altogether, but that wouldn't make sens for him and I could cause a deeper problem in our relationship as friends and brothers in Christ.... I have been praying hard and crying in the presence of God for him to give me strengh and direction in this painful and complex case... My worst fear is that my new friend and brother in Christ may become in my mind a new distraction or even idol before Jesus because of the emotions he evokes in me from time to time when I think or talk to him or even fantasize about him...
I would love though to get your opinion on how to treat my brother in Christ. Do you think if this goes on and we speak as frecuently I should tell him about me so that we take measures to protect my heart or at least so he knows about my situation? Or another suggestion you may have?
I am in need of some advice regarding my weakness with same sex attraction. So I have all my life basically dealt with this and I have never lost my faith in Jesus because I know how much he has sacrificed for me and accepted me even with my big failures in life towards that same sin. I cannot count the numbers of times I've messed up mostly with gay porn and sometimes but in more rare occasions, dealing with other gay guys secretly, although the Holy Spirit has never let me go too far with it... I am today 24 years old, still a believer in Christ and go to church and commute with all my partners in faith, even a leader in some small groups. But lately I've had this uncomfortable feeling inside because of a situation that is not easy for me...
So I have been always encouraged by my leaders and family that know about my background in homosexuality, not to reveal my struggles to the whole crowd of believers but only to close friends that are christian and that may help me grow. And recently I have met this guy who was a missionary and I helped translate for him for like 2 weeks here in Dominican. He left and I was trying to be really careful not to develop any feelings for this guy that was very outgoing and always expressed how much he appreciated my new friendship. He doesn't seem to have the same weakness as me, still I don't know, but since he left he has been talking to me a lot and he is very freindly and present at all times. He appreciates a lot my friendship and counseling in his life but I'm a little scared for me cause I feel like I'm getting strongly attracted to him and sometimes I find myself trying to not let my mind wonder about us together as something else than just brothers in Christ. He is a little younger than me and as he is not yet that much of a really close friend of mine, I dont want to just go and tell him yet about me. But its been so painful having to talk to him almost daily and hide away these feelings, and I wish sometimes I could just stop talking to him altogether, but that wouldn't make sens for him and I could cause a deeper problem in our relationship as friends and brothers in Christ.... I have been praying hard and crying in the presence of God for him to give me strengh and direction in this painful and complex case... My worst fear is that my new friend and brother in Christ may become in my mind a new distraction or even idol before Jesus because of the emotions he evokes in me from time to time when I think or talk to him or even fantasize about him...
I would love though to get your opinion on how to treat my brother in Christ. Do you think if this goes on and we speak as frecuently I should tell him about me so that we take measures to protect my heart or at least so he knows about my situation? Or another suggestion you may have?