Hi all,
After a couple of really tumultuous weeks filled with peace, joy, frustration, and grief, I wanted to run a few thoughts by the group.
Just when I thought all was well with my brain, I had a terrible spike of thoughts that occured when I was out sick (I hate sick days, being alone with my thoughts and no strength to distract myself or deal...). The "one-up-manship" of ocd left me confused, embarassed, and ashamed before God. It was like a "bottoming out" experience, because I had no energy to even react. Maybe that was a good thing therapeutically.
Anyway, I did something so uncharacteristic for my overactive brain during a spike. I gave up and turned on the TV to just "veg". I had no energy for anything else. I settled on a show that I had never seen before - "Nanny 911." The show featured these kids that were monsters, yellling back at their parents, defying them, etc. The house was in chaos, but it was nonetheless a family built on love. It made me think about my own interactions with God. OCD aside, I am just like those unruly little creatures - prone to act out against and disobey the very hand that feeds and has created me.
The significance of the repeated Gospel theme of our "adoption" by Christ to be His children became clearer than ever. Although my mind can "throw tantrums," and rebell - intentional or otherwise, that does not change the relationship to which I have been called to Christ as His child.
I appreciate more deeply this sense of God's adoption. As his children we attempt to mature, but in doing so we meet greater challenges, leading us to realize how awesome of a God we need and indeed have. We have a God who seeks us to call Him "Father." We are infinitely fortunate beyond description to have an unbreakable bond with our Heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ.
"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15)
Have a great weekend brothers and sisters!
Marc
After a couple of really tumultuous weeks filled with peace, joy, frustration, and grief, I wanted to run a few thoughts by the group.
Just when I thought all was well with my brain, I had a terrible spike of thoughts that occured when I was out sick (I hate sick days, being alone with my thoughts and no strength to distract myself or deal...). The "one-up-manship" of ocd left me confused, embarassed, and ashamed before God. It was like a "bottoming out" experience, because I had no energy to even react. Maybe that was a good thing therapeutically.
Anyway, I did something so uncharacteristic for my overactive brain during a spike. I gave up and turned on the TV to just "veg". I had no energy for anything else. I settled on a show that I had never seen before - "Nanny 911." The show featured these kids that were monsters, yellling back at their parents, defying them, etc. The house was in chaos, but it was nonetheless a family built on love. It made me think about my own interactions with God. OCD aside, I am just like those unruly little creatures - prone to act out against and disobey the very hand that feeds and has created me.
The significance of the repeated Gospel theme of our "adoption" by Christ to be His children became clearer than ever. Although my mind can "throw tantrums," and rebell - intentional or otherwise, that does not change the relationship to which I have been called to Christ as His child.
I appreciate more deeply this sense of God's adoption. As his children we attempt to mature, but in doing so we meet greater challenges, leading us to realize how awesome of a God we need and indeed have. We have a God who seeks us to call Him "Father." We are infinitely fortunate beyond description to have an unbreakable bond with our Heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ.
"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15)
Have a great weekend brothers and sisters!
Marc