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If your loyalty is with Jesus Christ of Nazareth His Holy Spirit will guild you to those who are in Him and deserving of your attention. That being said, loyalty is a very high calling and your discernment should be sharp. Blessings.Recently God has bee pointing something out to me about the importance of being loyal. Growing up, I was taught that having friends wasn't important, was actually a bad thing, and as an adult, I ended up in several churches where I was being attacked from the pulpit and off of it by those in authority over me. I ended up getting out of those churches. Now, looking back, having uprooted and re rooted so many times, always following the leading of God, I find myself tired in a way and ready to stay in one place. Those churches where I was attacked from the pulpit are places I would have stayed if not for being attacked and not knowing how to defend myself further. Having found or hoping to find a healthier church, I wonder now how can I focus on building a sense of loyalty. My childhood friendships were kind of disastrous, fraught with lots of anger and jockeying for a "best friend" position that was often hurtfully taken away from me. Friendship in adulthood has been a minefield as God has removed people from me or shown me their true colors and I've been holding on to the Word of God to Work out my salvation with fear and trembling and that Evil communications corrupt good morals. Now going forward, how can I develop a sense of loyalty while still keeping the Word of God and honoring His Word foremost in my life?
The people and situations that warranted my loyalty were those I loved (agape) or believed in. My feelings for them/the circumstances exceeded the hardships and mistakes. That’s how I stayed put.
~bella
Thank you for reminding me to have sharp discernment. I think I have been a little too focused on what I can see. Your response was helpful and made me reflect. God brought to mind certain situations I went through, things that didn't add up, etc.If your loyalty is with Jesus Christ of Nazareth His Holy Spirit will guild you to those who are in Him and deserving of your attention. That being said, loyalty is a very high calling and your discernment should be sharp. Blessings.
Try to apply the beatitudes in your response to the transgressing party. Practice mercy, meekness and being a peacekeeper. You will be blessed in your efforts. The reaping of what you've sown is always greater than the actual sowing. A gardener can elaborate upon this concept, or a farmer. What comes from one seed is greater than the seed itself.
One thing I've found difficult in Christianity is finding people/churches that I've believed in.
In church I've seen extreme nepotism/favoritism, bullying, and extreme contradictions to God's word.
I think of Jesus, the kind, compassionate, good shepherd and it's hard to find a pastor like that. I know that no one's perfect but the spiritual bullying I've seen, allowing all types of immorality to go unchecked, the nepotism, it's been hard to withness that in God's house and not say anything and then when or if I say something, to deal with the repercussions.
Unless you’re previously acquainted they’re strangers. Why would you believe in them? That requires a consistent display of character that echoes your beliefs and moral compass. You need to see it over a period of time beyond a setting that inspires good behavior.
Everyone has favorites. Including me. It isn’t possible to like and love everyone identically. Because we’re different. There’s always someone in the group that gets you, speaks your language, etc.
I’ve never given it thought. But then again, I’m not looking for acceptance or leading with expectation. I take people as they are and go from there. Which results in a lot less hurt, disappointments and mind games.
Your pastor isn’t Jesus. He’ll always fall short. Even on his best day he misses the mark. We have an odd habit of putting them on pedestals or expecting the reincarnation of Christ or Paul and wonder why we’re disheartened. He’s fallible. Just ask his wife. She sees the person beyond the pulpit and if you pay attention you will too.
Why are you surprised by your experiences? You’ve been here since 2009. Do you read the posts? That’s who you’re dealing with. There’s a lot of brokenness. They’re the ones sharing their pain or looking for help. What about the rest? Understand? There’s your problem.
Churches are hospitals. They’re magnets for the sick and hurting. You need healthy people in the midst for ministry and examples. But when they’re not involved dysfunction runs amok and chaos follows. You can’t have oneness with a room full of islands under the same roof. They’re not connected.
Given your experiences your need quotient may be greater. Belonging is important. You need the right setting and it may not exist in mainstream traditions. I’d look for those that emphasize community and togetherness. They’re more nurturing and less likely to promote individualism. Look at the anabaptists.
~bella
Proverbs 15 has many good points on human relationships. If you're married, a spouse will provide many opportunities for practicing these verses.Any tips on how I can be a peacekeeper anyone?
Proverbs 15 has many good points on human relationships. If you're married, a spouse will provide many opportunities for practicing these verses.
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