a question

i posted this in a few places cause i dont know the right place but



Well, i have a question to ask.

i have dysthimic depression and some other disorders.


i have not been taking medication the last year cause i cannot afford it and there is no adult medication program in alabama i can find to help me i cant even see a doctor

i do/have did drugs before marijuana and other things. and a question i got is this

i have always had a small fear of dark and think at times evil things is in the room with me. and i get scared when everything is silent and i feel like im in a old horror movie at night and times and i get very scared and wont even be in a room without the light on

and i have been thinking i see evil things/demons at times or "senseing them"

also, the last few months at times i have been seeing shadows/bugs in the corner of my eye and they not really being there

im wondering if i could possibly be starting to have schizophirc symptoms of issues i cant goto a doctor but it seems to get worse and worse what is you guys thoughts

do i sound like i am or am i just having normal thoughts or what

im very confused

my youngest son has dysthimic depression... he never has taken meds by his own choice. he just deals with it in his own ways. he says life is full of ups and downs. because he gets bored easy, he is into sports. because he hates sports, he picked volley ball. he enjoys the fun social atmosphere. he is quiet. stays to himself except the churches youth group. he does something everyday to keep busy. he has a high I.Q. so he needs lots of brain food... he tinkers with computers and is third year computer tech...... my point is it is low grade depression. you can be ok and function.

i have schizophirc symptoms and am bipoloar. i have mulitipul other problems too. i can not afford the meds i need. the cheep ones make me sick. ....... i have loads of ups and downs. somedays are very taxing. the county has counsellors i can talk to for free. but my problems are considered a disability. i qualify for public assistanc by social security. we choose not to do that though. maybe you can consult county phyciatic crisis. other than the medical balance... spiritual growth has helped me where meds could never. even in crisis. God's promises and hands make all the difference.

goldenviolet said:

my youngest son has dysthimic depression... he never has taken meds by his own choice. he just deals with it in his own ways. he says life is full of ups and downs. because he gets bored easy, he is into sports. because he hates sports, he picked volley ball. he enjoys the fun social atmosphere. he is quiet. stays to himself except the churches youth group. he does something everyday to keep busy. he has a high I.Q. so he needs lots of brain food... he tinkers with computers and is third year computer tech...... my point is it is low grade depression. you can be ok and function.

i have schizophirc symptoms and am bipoloar. i have mulitipul other problems too. i can not afford the meds i need. the cheep ones make me sick. ....... i have loads of ups and downs. somedays are very taxing. the county has counsellors i can talk to for free. but my problems are considered a disability. i qualify for public assistanc by social security. we choose not to do that though. maybe you can consult county phyciatic crisis. other than the medical balance... spiritual growth has helped me where meds could never. even in crisis. God's promises and hands make all the difference.

Click to expand...

well i dont think my depression is mild or my other disorders mix with it to make it hard for me to go outside or do the smallest of taks then idk

Newsboy1900 said:

well i dont think my depression is mild or my other disorders mix with it to make it hard for me to go outside or do the smallest of taks then idk

Click to expand...

well, i can tell from your post you are very smart. i didn't leave my house once for three years. it was just the Lord and i... i had a ton of support from my family though. eventually i got dragged into therepy by my family. in my opinion this isn't always bad. it helped clear my head of alot of craziness. however there is a time for everything. getting away, getting therepy, starting over, etc. do you have family support? if you can not afford counselling, i suggest you browse free counsel from a man/woman of God. it may feel like you are trapped and don't have a life... but that's just depression and feeling abandoned from help or aid. God will provide or enable you to do what you need to.

i thought this is really good for us who get depressed...


Highs and lows often affect the way we perceive our relationship with the Lord. If we are emotionally high, we have found favor with the Lord and for some reason feel more adequate to worship, more accepted. If we are low due to the circumstances of life, then we must have displeased the Lord and are somehow being punished and so we are spiritually depleted.
It concerns me that in these scenarios the perceived acceptance of the Lord is dictated by one's emotions. The truth of scripture must set us free. We are accepted by the Lord Jesus and we are in Him. Whether high or low our Lord awaits us and has accepted us. We are His beloved. It is a self-absorbed notion that our mood determines our position in Jesus. If that were so, we would all be desolate without salvation. The question we must ask ourselves is this: does my mood affect my devotion to my Lord? Is He Lord when things aren't going my way? Has he forsaken me?
Hand in hand with our emotions are our circumstances. Often our devotion to do the Lord's will in our lives is affected by our circumstances. If all is well and our environment pristine, we linger with the Lord in times of great intimacy and fellowship. Yet these times are all too few in our world. The other times when the slightest variation rocks our lives we are strewn into preoccupations and predicaments and our devotion to do the will of the Lord is set aside. Yet we are never too busy to do the will of God.
The truth is, it is in these times when our dependency upon Him is crucial. I am reminded of this: whether I am having a good day or a bad day, regardless of whether I feel happy or sad , I am always loved by my Lord. I am accepted by His love and grace. I am a chosen vessel set aside for good works. And regardless of my circumstances it is my privilege and call to do the will of the Lord Jesus who saved me. (author unknown)

I might of once had a hallucination which lasted very short I think because I was very tired... but overall I think maybe the marijuana and other drugs is causing it for you.