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A Need To Process Our Experiences

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blessedwoman

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So I told my husband a little while ago that I had some bad news to share with him and was he ready to hear it. He said, 'NO' in his goofy voice. I told him I had been sitting on it for days and we needed to deal with it sometime. At his agreement, I told him. He pretty much didn't react. Just a few questions. That is his way and I respected that.

I told him that she needed to be confronted with what happened and I was letting him decide if it was going to be him or me.

As for boundaries and/or consequences, I have few choices as to consequences. The boundary is she is not to do it EVER again for either of my children. At this point I think the consequence is that with that warning in hand, I will bring charges if she does. There really aren't many other options, and she and her sister thrive off of no consequences. They are adults and can do as they please, even in our home.

How is everyone's Sunday??
 
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Joyandpeace

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blessedwoman said:
Ok, I'll be watching. I haven't been to a study in a long time. Went to one briefly in the spring and it's been about 3 years before that. I used to lead one for family and friends in my home.

So, you share, I'll listen, ok?
Click to expand...

Why thank you! I would LOVE to do that!
 
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Joyandpeace

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You husband is such a calm man, isn't he? He takes everything in stride. That sounds like a true man of God to me.

I have to say when I read the words - "bring charges"- I kind of gasped. But after thinking about it, I would do anything to protect my children too. In fact I put my beloved nephew out of my home (to go I knew not where) for sleeping with a girl he just met the night before in my house and lying to me about it). I didn't want that influence around Emily. If he had been offering her drugs - I would have either banished him from association from us at all - or pressed charges.

Very tough to have to face this kind of thing between children. Your husband seems determined to not let this pull you two apart and I so praise Him for that!
 
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Joyandpeace

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Have you been frustrated in your Christian experience? Do you feel God has a more abundant life for you than you have experienced? Do you desperately want Him to direct your path, your life, your work, your ministry? Have you experienced tragedy, a broken life? Do you want to hear Him when He speaks to you? Do you want to change and grow in Him?

Consider these verses:

John 15:5 - I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5.
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Colossians 2:6-7 – So, then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
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You want the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in you? Are you rooted in Him? The relationship between the root and the branches is key. The relationship with the Saviour is key. Are you considering that "the nothing" in the Scripture aboves refers to anything that has eternal purposes – can come only from Him? Are you busy but barren?

John 17:3 – Jesus said – “This is eternal life; that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”
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In order to portray God – we have to be plugged in and know Him ourselves. How do you emulate someone you don't know intimately?

John 14:26 – The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things
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John 7:17 – If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own.
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The Bible is God’s Word to you. The Holy Spirit honors and uses God’s Word in speaking to you.

Ephesians 3:20 – He “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”
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Do you want God to spell it out to you? Do you need a roadmap? Can you handle moving one step at a time – not knowing where the next step will lead you? Do you have that kind of faith?

John 14:6 – I am the way and truth and the life.
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Consider Abram (later called Abraham):

Gen. 12:1-5 – the Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.”
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No roadmap was given.


Who has the power to accomplish these things? Abram or God? You or God?


Did Abram obey in every area that God said? Do you? Do hold onto something that you need to let go of?[/quote]

Matthew 6:33-34 – But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
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Is God trustworthy? Do you trust Him?

If not, confess this and claim this verse. Trust Him to do this in you.

Philippians 2:13 – It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.
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Does the word repent have a negative or positive connotation to you? Why? (Picture a fire and brimstone pastor saying it from the pulpit)

Repent means to turn away from evil and to turn TO God.
What is negative about that?
 
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Shesjr

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TenderWarrior1 said:
I thought everyone your age knew about protection.
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You know TW I love living on the edge!

Oh last night we gave Danny his first bath. Connie is so wonderful. She is really making an effort to include me in each little thing. She wanted me to come over to give him his bath; she is looking to me for experience and I am very happy to offer my help.

So Adam just came home and I have dinner ready for him. Gotta run for now.

Hey could you all pray for Ronnie. He is far from Christ now and he is living his life as if he never knew him.

More later...
 
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Shesjr

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Ronald is my husband. Mike is Danny' father. Do you know they are almost exactly alike. God help my daughter why would she choose a man who is just like Ronald? He is not her bio father but he has been in her life since she has been about 8 years old. She is now 20. Her bio dad is very active in her live and actually he and I get along super good. I went from bad to worse when I left him and married Ronnie. Oh well, can't focus on the past, right?
 
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blessedwoman

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He IS a calm man. He is such a blessing.

I know, the charges seems harsh. I sat and talked with him late this afternoon. Filled him in on the rest of the conversation that I had had with my son. I told him what I wanted conveyed to his daughter. I also told him I had no desire to press charges, but that given the circumstances felt they were the most reasonable consequences. He seemed to fully agree. I told him he could convey, or I would. If I did I wanted him to be present so that the words would not be twisted in later tellings.

He came downstairs shortly after with his phone in his hand. He was going to call her already and tell her! But he said he'd wait until after the football game was over. He amazes me. He avoids confrontation until the very last second. I'm so proud that he was ready to do this!

On another front, a former friend of my son's came in while another young person was here. They aren't on bad terms, but this guy is from the old church, as was the young lady who was here to see me. He openly defied and disobeyed something I told him multiple times! My son told me today. When he came in, I made a certain condition of his being here clear. He asked several times about it and I repeated my stance.

Honestly! I just wrote to him to let him know I knew of his defiance and that it is not acceptable. That if people choose to be in this house they choose to submit to our authority so far as the people and the things in it goes.

What the heck??
 
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blessedwoman

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JR, how wonderful to be able to share those experiences with her! I remember bathing my older son for the first time while my mom watched! Though I really didn't need much hands-on help (I was 28), it was of great emotional support to have her there with me in the beginning!

You know, they say we marry our parents. Of course there are exceptions and who really knows how true it its. To large extent, I married my dad first time around. My husband now is nothing like that.

As an aside note, my one sister has been married three times. We all tried to talk her out of the first two. My baby sister just once, and they have their struggles. But here is the curious thing....all three of our husbands are very similar in personality!! It's the weirdest thing! And they are nothing like our dad!

It is a hard thing to watch your husband drift from Christ. It makes for hard living. I found it painful. I often wonder now how I would handle it should it happen with C someday. I pray God continues to mold me into a strong enough woman to deal with it as He'd want me to.

God's blessings to you and your sweet family!
 
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Joyandpeace

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blessedwoman said:
Good stuff in that Bible study, JP. Is that this week's lesson?
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Yes it was. Probably not making much sense as I'm not good at that kind of thing - I don't think teaching is my strength.

Man you have your hands full with rebellious folks now don't you? What do you think that means? God is testing you somehow?
 
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blessedwoman

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Joyandpeace said:
Yes it was. Probably not making much sense as I'm not good at that kind of thing - I don't think teaching is my strength.

Man you have your hands full with rebellious folks now don't you? What do you think that means? God is testing you somehow?
Click to expand...


Could well be testing, also growth. I know I am learning to discern rebellion and unacceptable behavior where before I would have just rolled over and let it eat me or defeat me!

Also, there was not much 'opportunity for learning' about conflict situation in my upbringing or marriage. I had parents who walked away in pain and an ex who stomped on people. Now I am learning a much better way.

And being astonished in the process!!
 
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blessedwoman

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Joyandpeace said:
Yes it was. Probably not making much sense as I'm not good at that kind of thing - I don't think teaching is my strength.

Man you have your hands full with rebellious folks now don't you? What do you think that means? God is testing you somehow?
Click to expand...

I found it VERY WELL put. Lots of room for thought and learning in there! I was first especially struck by "Are you busy but barren?" I was busy for years learning and doing. That's when God knocked me down and got me to really listen and live!!
 
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blessedwoman

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I am carrying the battle cry flag and the shield of prayer.

It has largely been a solo flight for me. Well, solo so far as other humans go. I had two awesome older Christians come along side me as things went bad a few years ago. We don't talk much anymore, but they are there whenever I need them. They both said they felt very clearly called to help me. I was pretty well broken when they did. Before then, I had little understanding of God's transformation for me. I was just reading and studying and always walking each step as I thought He would have me do. Problem is, I was unknowingly dragging a whole lot of baggage along with me.

My poor husband, getting to walk along with me in this journey! He met me at my lowest, when I was all but dead. But he stuck with me anyway. At the time he said he could see what I could become, and liked what I was even then. As I told you before, he took my hand and has never let go.

God has protected me.

I just 'spoke' with the young man I wrote about earlier. He apologized for his actions, agreed that C and I are in authority in this house and family and would submit to that in the future. Amen to that! I had emailed him and told him I was astonished by his behavior.

Ok, this isn't a gag question.... Is this what everyone's life is like?? It seems there has been so many 'events' in our lives these last couple of years. Literally one thing after another. Added to the mix is the 'family fun' and other conflicts. Do other people go through these sort of things all the time?

Why do you ask, BW?

I ask bc I largely lived in my home, with my sons or in my books. I was involved in all aspects of their lives, but not involved intimately with people. It's what I knew. The complexity of social interaction sometimes confounds me!
 
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