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1st for him, 2nd for me.

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dawnsday

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I have a 9 year old, whom my husband treats as his own. However, I am pregnant (on purpose this time! wooo!) and kinda laid back about it...I already know what to expect, and no matter what the situation will be easier then the first time around (no money, druggie boyfriend, no insurance)...so I'm feeling fine. He is not exactly "getting" it though...not like a bad thing, but it's obvious that this is his first time through, and I think I'm getting on his nerves by "informing" him of how it is.

Any advise how I can make him feel less alone in this, since it's his first time?
 

lucypevensie

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I'm not sure I understand the question you are asking.

Do you mean he is nervous/excited and you are less nervous/excited?

What do you mean you are getting on his nerves "informing" him how it is? In what way?

What do you mean he feels alone?
 
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white dove

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Regardless of how inexperienced he is in this area, I would probably (actually scrap that, I would definitely) relish in the fact that we were doing this together. It doesn't matter who has more experience or who's just not getting it. He's obviously not going to know what you know already. The joint experience is that you 2 are doing this together for the first time. Share in the excitement and connective opportunities you have. Seeing as your first pregnancy sounds less-than-perfect, enjoy the blessing that can be had in this one, where you actually have a loving, aware, supportive partner. If he feels alone, that might be because you're not bringing him into the experience.
 
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dawnsday

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lucypevensie said:
I'm not sure I understand the question you are asking.

Do you mean he is nervous/excited and you are less nervous/excited?

What do you mean you are getting on his nerves "informing" him how it is? In what way?

What do you mean he feels alone?
Click to expand...

yes he is more nervous and i'm less nervous, he's more excited, i'm not NOT excited, but not every new thing makes me jump up and down.

Like, when he tries to tell me I should or shouldn't do something (like lift something) and I inform him I am fine or when he thinks it's unnecessary to plan now, and I inform him of how much a baby really costs...he's lost, because he's never been there and I get the feeling he wishes I was as lost as him, instead of correcting him/sharing my experience...
 
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Birbitt

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Maybe you could just be excited with him, when he's excited because something is new maybe you could just be excited because he's excited or because it's the first time going through this with him. Just play along with him sometimes so that he doesn't feel as though he's an outsider?
 
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dawnsday

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mandyangel said:
god bless and so HAPPY for YOU!!! Do you want a boy or girl? How bout some names!!!
Click to expand...

thanks! I don't care, really, but I know he wants a boy...as far as names, I am not sure yet...lots of good names, but we're waiting til we know what it is.
 
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Robinsegg

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Have you considered getting a baby book (something like "What to Expect When You're Expecting") and going through it with him? Then you could leave it where he can find it, and get answers for himself, if he wants.

As far as the "not lifting" thing . . . that's kind of a common old wives tale around here. The idea that lifting things will cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby can be scary for him. Have you considered that maybe he's hearing a lot of misinformation that could be causing some of his irritation?

Rachel
 
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