Ephesians 5:22-23 “22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
Colossians 3:18-19 “ 18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”
I suppose the proper place to begin would be submission, as it seems to be the root problem to many Christian women.
The first experience I had discussing this on the Christian forum I referred to earlier, went as follows: a young woman of around twenty-six asked how other couples(mainly women) apply the above mentioned call to submission to their marriage. I responded with my opinion/interpretation, and it was very similar to every other response up til then.
However, that is when a woman I will name Ingrid came into the discussion. (We will be hearing from Ingrid a lot, I’m afraid to say.)
Ingrid responded with this(paraphrased) statement:”Hello, I see that you are twenty-six. Well, I have a daughter who is twenty-five, and as a Titus 2 woman, I feel it is my duty to inform you that you may be going down a path that will lead you away from God’s plan for your leadership within the marriage. ”
Ingrid went on to quote Katherine Bushnell(whoever she is), who basically said it was God’s intention for the woman to rule the household. Katherine came to this conclusion by the translation of a few Greek words. Now, I am no linguist, but I do believe in using the original languages of the Bible to better understand what’s written. However, Ingrid failed to provide what Katherine’s view is on 1 Peter chapter 3:
“1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
So, by a wife’s submission, gentle spirit and calmness of voice, a husband can be saved…Yeah. That’s what it’s saying there. Which, when you think about it, is a wonderous idea! Even though her husband is not a follower of Christ, by her continuous love, respect and support, he could be won to Jesus. This shows me that submission from a wife is extremely important, so much so that a man’s salvation could hang on it.
As the thread continued, Ingrid continued to misread and misunderstand nearly everything that was said in support of submission. She continuously took it to the extreme, saying, “But what if your husband decides he doesn’t want you to use birth control? What if he decides you should quit your job, even though you can’t afford it? What if he decides to move your entire family around the country to find his dream job? Putting the ‘final authority’ onto your husband is so one sided.’ Okay, but if we put the “final authority” onto the wife, it can be equally as dangerous, says I.
I did a minor study on the differences between the ways men and women solve problems, to see if there should be a “final authority” figure in the marriage. What I found was intriguing, to say the least. If a man and woman are given the same scenario or situation to solve, it’s not that either one is incapable of making a decision that is equal to the other, but rather that the way they go about making the decision can have a great, and sometimes negative, effect on the decision itself.
The woman, as studies showed, is completely capable of making a decision that is just as intelligent and logical as any man. What sets the woman apart is her tendency to apply personal experiences to the situation, which is sometimes good. But often this induces more of an emotional response, and can easily taint her vision to see things as one way, making her decision one of emotion, rather than logic. Men, however, see the situation as cut and dry; they look at it as it currently is, without emotion or other influences to distract him, and then solves the problem from there.
To me, this speaks volumes on many things. Firstly, I don’t think a submissive wife necessarily means there must be a final authority, whether male or female. Both genders have equally important, yet massively different, gifts to offer the relationship. Sometimes a more emotional decision is what’s needed, and if there is a “final authority”, it can easily be passed over and replaced with logic. However, the main issues marriages face tend to be more logical in nature(i.e. finances, real estate, bills, mortgages, retirement, insurance, etc.), therefore require a more logical outlook. This doesn’t mean the wife is excluded, or that she can’t make these decisions as well. As said in the study, a woman is just as capable as a man in solving problems and making decisions. And I believe this to be true.
However, since the first study made it clear that women use their emotions in problem solving, a second test was needed to see if women are more emotional than men. My second minor study produced this conclusion: men and women are equally emotional, but not equally expressive. Women are far more expressive with their emotions than men and, depending on the circumstance or problem that has arisen, can easily abandon logic to do what satisfies their emotional reaction to the situation.
Having performed this study, I have come to the conclusion that there should be no such thing as the “final authority”, in as simple as the title sounds. I feel that the circumstances should be examined, and that both spouses should be equally involved in the decision making process. Both should be heard out and their opinions/ideas considered. However, should there come a time when an agreement can not be met, I go back to 1 Peter; the wife should submit to her husbands leadership of the family. So, in a sense, he is the “final authority”, but only in such situations as no agreement or compromise can be reached.
To summarize before we move on:
1. Women are told to submit to their husbands in the Bible.
2. Men are more logical in their decisions, and don’t tend to use emotions in the process.
3. Women can be more emotional, but are still as capable as men to make equally logical decisions.
Moving on…please see the next post.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
Colossians 3:18-19 “ 18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”
I suppose the proper place to begin would be submission, as it seems to be the root problem to many Christian women.
The first experience I had discussing this on the Christian forum I referred to earlier, went as follows: a young woman of around twenty-six asked how other couples(mainly women) apply the above mentioned call to submission to their marriage. I responded with my opinion/interpretation, and it was very similar to every other response up til then.
However, that is when a woman I will name Ingrid came into the discussion. (We will be hearing from Ingrid a lot, I’m afraid to say.)
Ingrid responded with this(paraphrased) statement:”Hello, I see that you are twenty-six. Well, I have a daughter who is twenty-five, and as a Titus 2 woman, I feel it is my duty to inform you that you may be going down a path that will lead you away from God’s plan for your leadership within the marriage. ”
Ingrid went on to quote Katherine Bushnell(whoever she is), who basically said it was God’s intention for the woman to rule the household. Katherine came to this conclusion by the translation of a few Greek words. Now, I am no linguist, but I do believe in using the original languages of the Bible to better understand what’s written. However, Ingrid failed to provide what Katherine’s view is on 1 Peter chapter 3:
“1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
So, by a wife’s submission, gentle spirit and calmness of voice, a husband can be saved…Yeah. That’s what it’s saying there. Which, when you think about it, is a wonderous idea! Even though her husband is not a follower of Christ, by her continuous love, respect and support, he could be won to Jesus. This shows me that submission from a wife is extremely important, so much so that a man’s salvation could hang on it.
As the thread continued, Ingrid continued to misread and misunderstand nearly everything that was said in support of submission. She continuously took it to the extreme, saying, “But what if your husband decides he doesn’t want you to use birth control? What if he decides you should quit your job, even though you can’t afford it? What if he decides to move your entire family around the country to find his dream job? Putting the ‘final authority’ onto your husband is so one sided.’ Okay, but if we put the “final authority” onto the wife, it can be equally as dangerous, says I.
I did a minor study on the differences between the ways men and women solve problems, to see if there should be a “final authority” figure in the marriage. What I found was intriguing, to say the least. If a man and woman are given the same scenario or situation to solve, it’s not that either one is incapable of making a decision that is equal to the other, but rather that the way they go about making the decision can have a great, and sometimes negative, effect on the decision itself.
The woman, as studies showed, is completely capable of making a decision that is just as intelligent and logical as any man. What sets the woman apart is her tendency to apply personal experiences to the situation, which is sometimes good. But often this induces more of an emotional response, and can easily taint her vision to see things as one way, making her decision one of emotion, rather than logic. Men, however, see the situation as cut and dry; they look at it as it currently is, without emotion or other influences to distract him, and then solves the problem from there.
To me, this speaks volumes on many things. Firstly, I don’t think a submissive wife necessarily means there must be a final authority, whether male or female. Both genders have equally important, yet massively different, gifts to offer the relationship. Sometimes a more emotional decision is what’s needed, and if there is a “final authority”, it can easily be passed over and replaced with logic. However, the main issues marriages face tend to be more logical in nature(i.e. finances, real estate, bills, mortgages, retirement, insurance, etc.), therefore require a more logical outlook. This doesn’t mean the wife is excluded, or that she can’t make these decisions as well. As said in the study, a woman is just as capable as a man in solving problems and making decisions. And I believe this to be true.
However, since the first study made it clear that women use their emotions in problem solving, a second test was needed to see if women are more emotional than men. My second minor study produced this conclusion: men and women are equally emotional, but not equally expressive. Women are far more expressive with their emotions than men and, depending on the circumstance or problem that has arisen, can easily abandon logic to do what satisfies their emotional reaction to the situation.
Having performed this study, I have come to the conclusion that there should be no such thing as the “final authority”, in as simple as the title sounds. I feel that the circumstances should be examined, and that both spouses should be equally involved in the decision making process. Both should be heard out and their opinions/ideas considered. However, should there come a time when an agreement can not be met, I go back to 1 Peter; the wife should submit to her husbands leadership of the family. So, in a sense, he is the “final authority”, but only in such situations as no agreement or compromise can be reached.
To summarize before we move on:
1. Women are told to submit to their husbands in the Bible.
2. Men are more logical in their decisions, and don’t tend to use emotions in the process.
3. Women can be more emotional, but are still as capable as men to make equally logical decisions.
Moving on…please see the next post.