Where is god?

Does he even interact with the world nowadays? What about the crusades... Would he really have let that happen? And if he did, how is he good? Why are there wars? why are there diseases? Why would he let us destroy our planet and ouselves when he created us to interact with him? Howcome churches are so big? is it because they had money to fund them? and why would followers have to pay so much for an institute based on a book created by man? How can we know for sure that this is all true... We can not obtain proof, we can only beleive, we can only hope that we chose the right religion. What if the hindus were right? The jews? Scientologists? Muslims? why do those words express hate in your hearts?

Are you asking yourself the right questions?
Did you even chose to follow your religion or was it only where you were born that decided which beleifs you had?

And will this post be deleted or am I allowed to express myself?