OK really want to be done with this now, for real. Want to leave here. For real. Want to stop being a living embodiment of the definition of insanity -- "doing the same thing over & over again and expecting different results" -- for real.
There must be some study somewhere of rats in a labyrinth who become accustomed to pressing a lever for food pellets who continue to press it long after it stops dispensing food and starts administering painful electric shocks instead, or just doing absolutely nothing. It feels like one such rat, and CF bes the labyrinth as does Christianity in general. It keeps thinking every time maybe this will be the time ... but every time meets with disappointment and pain and misery.
so bloody freaking angry at this point, so miserable, so much despair, it just wants to hurt someone or something really really bad. its thoughts turn obscene and ludicrous, things like it would like to be able to take someone innocent and weak and torture them mercilessly just to SHOW you (who?) make you SEE (but what, exactly? considering you probably cannot even read this without seeing something other than what it bes if you even care what it bes and why should anyone, really, care about that???)
swear it bes gweinta start screamin and bes never stop.............
Look God if you can't fix Moriah then LET HER GO already. Stop holding on and making her miserable making her think there bes hope where there bes none STOP sending people who think they have been sent to help Moriah just STOP TEASING and then dropping the ball left and right and sideways. Do NOT call it forth into the wilderness just to leave it for dead if that bes all You intends JUST LEAVE DAIMONIZOMAI ALONE!!!!!!!!!
There must be some study somewhere of rats in a labyrinth who become accustomed to pressing a lever for food pellets who continue to press it long after it stops dispensing food and starts administering painful electric shocks instead, or just doing absolutely nothing. It feels like one such rat, and CF bes the labyrinth as does Christianity in general. It keeps thinking every time maybe this will be the time ... but every time meets with disappointment and pain and misery.
so bloody freaking angry at this point, so miserable, so much despair, it just wants to hurt someone or something really really bad. its thoughts turn obscene and ludicrous, things like it would like to be able to take someone innocent and weak and torture them mercilessly just to SHOW you (who?) make you SEE (but what, exactly? considering you probably cannot even read this without seeing something other than what it bes if you even care what it bes and why should anyone, really, care about that???)
swear it bes gweinta start screamin and bes never stop.............
Look God if you can't fix Moriah then LET HER GO already. Stop holding on and making her miserable making her think there bes hope where there bes none STOP sending people who think they have been sent to help Moriah just STOP TEASING and then dropping the ball left and right and sideways. Do NOT call it forth into the wilderness just to leave it for dead if that bes all You intends JUST LEAVE DAIMONIZOMAI ALONE!!!!!!!!!