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resigned :(

Ive pretty much resigned myself to the fact im gonna go up and down in God, but what really hits me is the higher i go the harder i fall. I let this flood of depression and dissipation in, and im pretty much resigned to the fact that eventually my minds gonna be put to confusion again, im gonna forget that everything alright i only need wait on God, im gonna fail my spiritual warfare and crash.

But still, God told me to rest in the night a long time ago, why can't i just get that down, it was like the first and beautiful thing he said to me golly i praised him for that i even considered painting it. His pictures used to be so beautiful its like ive let that beautiful spirit-feeling go that causes them to look better, before i remember i had the choice to see pictures rapidly or beautifully i remember, now my rare event is seeing them 100% and being able to look around and blink at them.