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feeling a bit better today. One thing that seems to help is a very simple matter: staying inside instead of hours outside. The pollen count is awfully high this year and I have had problems with ears and sinus since I moved to Tennessee. I was treated for allergies with shots for one year, but they are not really gone.

Anyway, when I spend time outside, the next day I'm stuffed up and dizzy and take alot of anti-histimines and decongestants and meclizine for my dizziness and those medicines seem to trigger despair, confusion, and anger in me.

Yesterday I spent no time outside except to get in and out of the car to go to the grocery store; put air conditioner on while driving.

I don't need the allergy meds today and I feel more stable. I don't think it always has to do with being bipolar. Also, I'm going through premenopause, and it is weird. I have hot flashes and then I'm cold and putting a sweater on. But the hot flashes are much more noticeable and bothersome. It feels weird and I've never had them until the last few months or so. I need to go to the doctor for pap smear (haven't had one in 3 years), a mammogram (have never had one) and to see if I need estrogen therapy or something. Oh, the many needs and complexities of womenhood

I want this to be a good day for my kids and my husband. I want to be stable and calm and have joy and peace through tough times.

The more messed up I am in my mind, the more overwhelming my circumstances seem. My emotions should not be given the right to rule my world. Jesus is supposed to lead, not my feelings.

Help me to overcome day by day in your power and your Word, Lord, Amen.
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