Dear Lord,
Today has been rather confusing. It is my fault. Last night I did something that I should not of. I went somewhere I didn't belong. I am not sure what led me down that path to where I ended up. Was it curiosity? Was it a desire to catch up with the past? Has the desire to fit in again over riden my natural sense of self? Was I too focused on my own pity party that I jumped at an opportunity that I soon regreted? I am not sure what happened. It wasn't like me to do such a thing and yet in a sense, I knew it was bound to happen or in a weirder way needed to happen.
Either way, I know now that here is not where I need to be. What I thought would happen happened and I became, for a moment, the person that I no longer am. I thank you for the wonderful reminder of how far you have changed me and that it didn't take that long before I left and got back to the saftey of the house (though I am beginning to realise that is not really a safe place to be either). I thank you that You got me out of there quicker than I could possibly have ever imagined and I am thank you that You provided me a much needed lesson. I haven't slept much since then. I know that which needs to be done now may cost me more than I ever wanted to pay. I know that tonight could possibly break a friendship.
Dear Lord, You know that words that I need to say. You know the path that I need to travel is much different to the one that I had planned. You know that my heart could possibly break into a million pieces after this and the world that I once knew could no longer exist. Yet, I know that You are here with me. I know that You are going to enable all this to happen so that I may walk closer to You. I made my choice and last night I confirmed that choice - I want Your way now. I am willing to give up all to do Your will. Just enable me to share this with my friend so that she knows that this is what needs to happen. Help me to speak in love through all of this.
Dear Lord, this is going to be hard. This is going to be harder than I could have ever imagined. Hold me close tonight. Make me into what You want me to be. I will not let fear rule my life - for You are my one and only ruler. Dear Lord, forgive me for my idle promises. Forgive me for the lack of faith and enable me to walk on in You.
Today has been rather confusing. It is my fault. Last night I did something that I should not of. I went somewhere I didn't belong. I am not sure what led me down that path to where I ended up. Was it curiosity? Was it a desire to catch up with the past? Has the desire to fit in again over riden my natural sense of self? Was I too focused on my own pity party that I jumped at an opportunity that I soon regreted? I am not sure what happened. It wasn't like me to do such a thing and yet in a sense, I knew it was bound to happen or in a weirder way needed to happen.
Either way, I know now that here is not where I need to be. What I thought would happen happened and I became, for a moment, the person that I no longer am. I thank you for the wonderful reminder of how far you have changed me and that it didn't take that long before I left and got back to the saftey of the house (though I am beginning to realise that is not really a safe place to be either). I thank you that You got me out of there quicker than I could possibly have ever imagined and I am thank you that You provided me a much needed lesson. I haven't slept much since then. I know that which needs to be done now may cost me more than I ever wanted to pay. I know that tonight could possibly break a friendship.
Dear Lord, You know that words that I need to say. You know the path that I need to travel is much different to the one that I had planned. You know that my heart could possibly break into a million pieces after this and the world that I once knew could no longer exist. Yet, I know that You are here with me. I know that You are going to enable all this to happen so that I may walk closer to You. I made my choice and last night I confirmed that choice - I want Your way now. I am willing to give up all to do Your will. Just enable me to share this with my friend so that she knows that this is what needs to happen. Help me to speak in love through all of this.
Dear Lord, this is going to be hard. This is going to be harder than I could have ever imagined. Hold me close tonight. Make me into what You want me to be. I will not let fear rule my life - for You are my one and only ruler. Dear Lord, forgive me for my idle promises. Forgive me for the lack of faith and enable me to walk on in You.