On January 18, 2006 at 3:30 pm I was sitting in a waiting room at The First Baptist Church of Brandon Florida waiting on a counselor that ultimately would lead me in a direction that would change my life forever. The reason I was going to see this counselor was because my actions months prior had caused me to lose everything I considered of any value in my life. After my wife had found out about the multiple affairs I was having she came home heartbroken, as she was walking toward the house I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew everything. When she walked through the door and asked me about it, rather than denying it I instantly fell to my knees and begged for her forgiveness. She asked me to leave and then she was gone. Feeling completely humiliated I began to pack my things and was preparing for a long trip to Florida to the only place I could turn, my parents house. As I was packing there were thousands of thoughts rushing through my mind, including ending my life there on the spot because of the shame I felt. On my solitary trip to Florida, often as I was passing a telephone pole, I would imagine speeding my car up and slamming into one of them. Little did I know that out of so much shame, so much pain, and so much brokenness I would be able to rejoice.
After arriving at my parents' house I could barley look them in the face because of the shame I had caused. I told my mother that I had a problem and seemed to have absolutly no control over my life. She then recommended that I go and speak with a man from her church who was a counselor and I was reluctant because of my past experience with church. I was expecting nothing more than the same old, give your heart to Jesus and everything will be ok speech, however what I recieved was anything but. The next day I went down to their church and when I got there I walked inside to a little waiting area that looked similar to one you would find at a doctor's office. I signed the book and took a seat within a few minutes a man walked through the door and asked if I was Tommy and he had me follow him. When we got to where we were going he had me sit on a little couch and asked me how he could help me. As I began to pour my hear out to him he sat silent listening to every word. When I had finished he asked me if I loved my wife and children and I told him "yes." He then said "No you don't, because if you did you would have never done what you did. You deserve far worse than what you recieved." At that moment I realized that I was on a path leading strait to Hell and that the pain I had already gone through was merely a pin prick compared to the punishment I deserved. After saying this he told me this Bible verse in part. "The thief comes to steel, kill, and destroy..." The thief being satan. Then, not knowing where he was going with it, he asked me what I would consider an abundance of money. Puzzled by his question I told him probably a million dollars, he then asked if I believed that Bill Gates would consider that an abundance. I then told him no. He then told me the rest of John 10:10 by saying "Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantly." I asked him what this meant, I asked if it was to late for me. He told me that it wasn't and that despite what I was going through I could always remember Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again rejoice." Because we are able to rejoice knowing what Christ died for us on that Cross. He took what we rightly deserve. After some more conversation he told me that Christ gives us a gift, that gift is self-control and we need to adorn it daily. We have to open that gift with the eagerness of a child on Christmas. I wasn't aware at the time that this is what Galatians 5:22-23 describes as the fruits of the spirit and that it is by our fruits we are known. It was at this very moment that the burden was lifted from my shoulders. I already knew the path to salvation because I was brought up in the church, however I never knew what it meant to truly repent of my sins. I was no longer worried about getting my family back or anything of the sort, I was able to rejoice because I knew what Christ had allowed me to escape. I was free from the bondage of my sins that would ultimately lead me to Hell. I was no longer on the wide path to destruction rather I was entering through the Narrow Gate that leads to eternal life.
If you took the time to read through this I want to thank you. Jesus said that lust is adultry, and compared hate to murder. You may not have commited the act as I did but you don't have to, to be found guilty, who can say they have never lusted or held a grudge against somebody, who can say that they have never lied, stolen, or coveted. Who can say that they have never loved their money more than God, who can say that they, since they were an infant, put God first and foremost in their lives. On that day of Judgement we will stand before a Holy and Righteous God who will judge even our thoughts. James 2:10 says "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all." We should be found guilty but the Good News is that "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Jesus upon that cross paid your penalty He was a man that was without sin that willingly took your punishment. He suffered the entirety of Gods wrath that you may be justified. What you must do is repent, turn from your sins, and trust in the One who gave himself up for you. May God bless my testimony that it may reach someone in the path of destruction. God Bless.
After arriving at my parents' house I could barley look them in the face because of the shame I had caused. I told my mother that I had a problem and seemed to have absolutly no control over my life. She then recommended that I go and speak with a man from her church who was a counselor and I was reluctant because of my past experience with church. I was expecting nothing more than the same old, give your heart to Jesus and everything will be ok speech, however what I recieved was anything but. The next day I went down to their church and when I got there I walked inside to a little waiting area that looked similar to one you would find at a doctor's office. I signed the book and took a seat within a few minutes a man walked through the door and asked if I was Tommy and he had me follow him. When we got to where we were going he had me sit on a little couch and asked me how he could help me. As I began to pour my hear out to him he sat silent listening to every word. When I had finished he asked me if I loved my wife and children and I told him "yes." He then said "No you don't, because if you did you would have never done what you did. You deserve far worse than what you recieved." At that moment I realized that I was on a path leading strait to Hell and that the pain I had already gone through was merely a pin prick compared to the punishment I deserved. After saying this he told me this Bible verse in part. "The thief comes to steel, kill, and destroy..." The thief being satan. Then, not knowing where he was going with it, he asked me what I would consider an abundance of money. Puzzled by his question I told him probably a million dollars, he then asked if I believed that Bill Gates would consider that an abundance. I then told him no. He then told me the rest of John 10:10 by saying "Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantly." I asked him what this meant, I asked if it was to late for me. He told me that it wasn't and that despite what I was going through I could always remember Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again rejoice." Because we are able to rejoice knowing what Christ died for us on that Cross. He took what we rightly deserve. After some more conversation he told me that Christ gives us a gift, that gift is self-control and we need to adorn it daily. We have to open that gift with the eagerness of a child on Christmas. I wasn't aware at the time that this is what Galatians 5:22-23 describes as the fruits of the spirit and that it is by our fruits we are known. It was at this very moment that the burden was lifted from my shoulders. I already knew the path to salvation because I was brought up in the church, however I never knew what it meant to truly repent of my sins. I was no longer worried about getting my family back or anything of the sort, I was able to rejoice because I knew what Christ had allowed me to escape. I was free from the bondage of my sins that would ultimately lead me to Hell. I was no longer on the wide path to destruction rather I was entering through the Narrow Gate that leads to eternal life.
If you took the time to read through this I want to thank you. Jesus said that lust is adultry, and compared hate to murder. You may not have commited the act as I did but you don't have to, to be found guilty, who can say they have never lusted or held a grudge against somebody, who can say that they have never lied, stolen, or coveted. Who can say that they have never loved their money more than God, who can say that they, since they were an infant, put God first and foremost in their lives. On that day of Judgement we will stand before a Holy and Righteous God who will judge even our thoughts. James 2:10 says "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all." We should be found guilty but the Good News is that "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Jesus upon that cross paid your penalty He was a man that was without sin that willingly took your punishment. He suffered the entirety of Gods wrath that you may be justified. What you must do is repent, turn from your sins, and trust in the One who gave himself up for you. May God bless my testimony that it may reach someone in the path of destruction. God Bless.