My Testimony
I was pronounced dead in October of 1976 On a Air force Base in Missouri , as the Dr.s were saying there apologies my mom cried out to God and begged the Drs not to stop trying .My Grandmother as well speaking in tongues and praying over me .a minute later the Drs. astonished said "we've got a heartbeat" and my mom heard my cry.
My dad was stationed there from Alabama where all my dads side of the family lives. My mom
and dad divorced when I was 2, My mom moved us to California.
and kept us from our father, I would cry out to God for a dad in my life .
we were raised believers in fact my Grandma
was a pastor of her own church. My Grandma was the glue of the family. however my moms side are the
type of "Christians" that were and are very judgmental, and full of Gossip.
which made me feel like whatever I did was not good enough being told I was going to hell for everything and being constantly compared to others. My mom always had a heart for God!
she always prayed and read her word, she took us to church but lived a lukewarm life. I grew up thinking a lot
differently then I do now. basic if its not in the word of God, I don't believe it!! my mom married a second time when I was 6 to a alcoholic who mentally, physically, and sexually abused us kids.
we finally got taken away from my Mom for about a year when she finally got us back, I grew very angry/bitter toward the world at this point, I took a lot out on my mom as I lost a lot of my innocence and felt lost,but in all of the craziness I had a heart for God and was baptized and forgave my mom ,step dad and all the others that had hurt me. but struggled for years from my abuse and molestation.
when I was 13 my mom really fell hard
and started drinking a lot, and having sex with men in front of us, so i started running away from
home. My sister moved back home to Alabama.
I chose to stay and met my first love when I was 14. and when I swore I was gonna save myself for marriage gave in to his repeated request . we were together for 5 years. in this time my mom
had also remarried, and had my little sister. They moved away to a different state so i was left in California with No close family.
when I was 17 My first love broke up with me I I had No education or family support and chose to get involved with a bad crowd. I started drinking to the point of passing out a year of doing that became a .through Alcoholic this time i needed to make money without education I found myself doing awful things which at the time I felt was the only things i could do . all the time I was still praying and even reading the word throughout all of this. I lived on the streets , slept in my car went to party pad to party pad. I was at THIS point really angry at the world as I lived my lukewarm life. I got pregnant with a atheist well at that time "lesson now learned" I felt I had to marry him to make things right with God and I wanted my children to have a father and mother since i didn't have all that.
so we were married for 9 years I gave birth to my first daughter in may 1997, then my second daughter in April 2000. they became the joys of my life, I took them to church and read them the bible , however was still living a lukewarm life, even though I had a heart for God I was still full of anger ,and drinking, throughout this whole time. I would cry out to God and He would give me visions and dreams one which was a recurring dream,which I will now share with you, there was a tornado coming right towards my home and family, so we all grabbed this one tree in front of our house, the winds were so strong it first took my husband, I watched the winds take him away, soon after our home along with all our belongings went off in the wind as well. I held on to my babies like no tomorrow as they to where pulled from my grip. As I still hung on just getting ready to let go myself ,after all I had lost I would wake up. looking back I now know I put my love for my children before God, then My husband left me and my girls for another woman, I was a stay at home mom so didn't have anything to fall back on and all my family again was down south. so we then lost our home and most all our belongings. through divorce I had been dating my husband Now and we were married in 2005, I knew I wanted to get my life together and was tired of running from everything, my ex husband hated me and Malcolm He took me to court. and of course coming from a millionaire family got the best lawyer in town and won custody of my children the reason because I moved out of the county with my new husband.they were literally ripped from my life. My recurring dream had in fact come true, devastated I had reached my deepest down fall of my already crazy life I grew into a deep depression and never realized I could have so much anger. if i didn't have my kids, I felt i didn't have anything and I would drink till i was numb,
smoke pot to try and escape. my guard from people was so high for lack of trust I would get into fights for mere thought they were gonna get me first. but nothing worked I was dead in side I hated my life .
till one night I couldn't take it any longer and drew a hot bath, I was high as a kite grabbed a razor and as I lay there in that hot bath, high and now weakened from the gashes that I took out of my arms realized the bath was filling with blood that I didn't have the guts to take my own life. so I cried out to God take my life for me, I cried GOd I don't want to hurt anymore , I don't want to live I'm tired of this pain please God take me away, as I was crying from the depths of my soul I became so tired and relaxed and i just lay there in silence and very still almost like I wasn't there . IT was silent I couldn't tell if I was drifting off to sleep or what, but soon I felt the Presence of God so strongly but I couldn't move. But a moment later
He literally picked me up out of that bath and somehow i got clothes on as I was still bleeding made my profusely way down stairs outside where my husband was in the Garage when he looked and saw me he ripped his shirt off and rapped up my arms .I felt like God spoke to me as He pulled me out of that slimy pit and said No more! It is Not your time, I am not done with you. He Instantly healed all my pain that night. for the first time I could think clear I felt No need to drink I poured my life into Gods word and all that God had been wanting to work in me for a long time, since I first truly gave my life over to Him, and I haven't looked back since the biggest lesson I've learned is that God never left me through-out all those years, but He was waiting for me to let Him back in, and that night being at my lowest He out of His Mercy literally picked me up out of that bath tub and made me stand ! and once again made me live just like that day in the Air Force base Hospital when the Drs. said I was dead, God said Its wasn't my time.
I was chosen from Birth to share this testimony, as well as the good news of Jesus I am blessed , and The Lord is restoring little by little all the years that the locust have eaten, and although I still struggle from my past decision, and still struggle with control and anxiety problems rooted from my childhood. I know one day I will be made perfect through the undeserved mercy of Jesus. I hang on to His promises in the living word .to share a few No weapons formed against me shall prosper. greater is He that is in me then he that is of this world. If God is for me who can be against me. when the enemy comes in like a flood the spirit of the Lord will hold a standard up against him, He will restore all the years the Locusts have eaten, I do not need to fear for he is with me and his rod and staff they comfort me,His plan for my life is for me to prosper, and to turn all the bad the enemy had bestowed in my life and weave it into His perfect plan. and as I wait I am excited to see yet what He has has for me...... My God is a God of restoration and He will restore ALL the years the Locusts have eaten!
I was pronounced dead in October of 1976 On a Air force Base in Missouri , as the Dr.s were saying there apologies my mom cried out to God and begged the Drs not to stop trying .My Grandmother as well speaking in tongues and praying over me .a minute later the Drs. astonished said "we've got a heartbeat" and my mom heard my cry.
My dad was stationed there from Alabama where all my dads side of the family lives. My mom
and dad divorced when I was 2, My mom moved us to California.
and kept us from our father, I would cry out to God for a dad in my life .
we were raised believers in fact my Grandma
was a pastor of her own church. My Grandma was the glue of the family. however my moms side are the
type of "Christians" that were and are very judgmental, and full of Gossip.
which made me feel like whatever I did was not good enough being told I was going to hell for everything and being constantly compared to others. My mom always had a heart for God!
she always prayed and read her word, she took us to church but lived a lukewarm life. I grew up thinking a lot
differently then I do now. basic if its not in the word of God, I don't believe it!! my mom married a second time when I was 6 to a alcoholic who mentally, physically, and sexually abused us kids.
we finally got taken away from my Mom for about a year when she finally got us back, I grew very angry/bitter toward the world at this point, I took a lot out on my mom as I lost a lot of my innocence and felt lost,but in all of the craziness I had a heart for God and was baptized and forgave my mom ,step dad and all the others that had hurt me. but struggled for years from my abuse and molestation.
when I was 13 my mom really fell hard
and started drinking a lot, and having sex with men in front of us, so i started running away from
home. My sister moved back home to Alabama.
I chose to stay and met my first love when I was 14. and when I swore I was gonna save myself for marriage gave in to his repeated request . we were together for 5 years. in this time my mom
had also remarried, and had my little sister. They moved away to a different state so i was left in California with No close family.
when I was 17 My first love broke up with me I I had No education or family support and chose to get involved with a bad crowd. I started drinking to the point of passing out a year of doing that became a .through Alcoholic this time i needed to make money without education I found myself doing awful things which at the time I felt was the only things i could do . all the time I was still praying and even reading the word throughout all of this. I lived on the streets , slept in my car went to party pad to party pad. I was at THIS point really angry at the world as I lived my lukewarm life. I got pregnant with a atheist well at that time "lesson now learned" I felt I had to marry him to make things right with God and I wanted my children to have a father and mother since i didn't have all that.
so we were married for 9 years I gave birth to my first daughter in may 1997, then my second daughter in April 2000. they became the joys of my life, I took them to church and read them the bible , however was still living a lukewarm life, even though I had a heart for God I was still full of anger ,and drinking, throughout this whole time. I would cry out to God and He would give me visions and dreams one which was a recurring dream,which I will now share with you, there was a tornado coming right towards my home and family, so we all grabbed this one tree in front of our house, the winds were so strong it first took my husband, I watched the winds take him away, soon after our home along with all our belongings went off in the wind as well. I held on to my babies like no tomorrow as they to where pulled from my grip. As I still hung on just getting ready to let go myself ,after all I had lost I would wake up. looking back I now know I put my love for my children before God, then My husband left me and my girls for another woman, I was a stay at home mom so didn't have anything to fall back on and all my family again was down south. so we then lost our home and most all our belongings. through divorce I had been dating my husband Now and we were married in 2005, I knew I wanted to get my life together and was tired of running from everything, my ex husband hated me and Malcolm He took me to court. and of course coming from a millionaire family got the best lawyer in town and won custody of my children the reason because I moved out of the county with my new husband.they were literally ripped from my life. My recurring dream had in fact come true, devastated I had reached my deepest down fall of my already crazy life I grew into a deep depression and never realized I could have so much anger. if i didn't have my kids, I felt i didn't have anything and I would drink till i was numb,
smoke pot to try and escape. my guard from people was so high for lack of trust I would get into fights for mere thought they were gonna get me first. but nothing worked I was dead in side I hated my life .
till one night I couldn't take it any longer and drew a hot bath, I was high as a kite grabbed a razor and as I lay there in that hot bath, high and now weakened from the gashes that I took out of my arms realized the bath was filling with blood that I didn't have the guts to take my own life. so I cried out to God take my life for me, I cried GOd I don't want to hurt anymore , I don't want to live I'm tired of this pain please God take me away, as I was crying from the depths of my soul I became so tired and relaxed and i just lay there in silence and very still almost like I wasn't there . IT was silent I couldn't tell if I was drifting off to sleep or what, but soon I felt the Presence of God so strongly but I couldn't move. But a moment later
He literally picked me up out of that bath and somehow i got clothes on as I was still bleeding made my profusely way down stairs outside where my husband was in the Garage when he looked and saw me he ripped his shirt off and rapped up my arms .I felt like God spoke to me as He pulled me out of that slimy pit and said No more! It is Not your time, I am not done with you. He Instantly healed all my pain that night. for the first time I could think clear I felt No need to drink I poured my life into Gods word and all that God had been wanting to work in me for a long time, since I first truly gave my life over to Him, and I haven't looked back since the biggest lesson I've learned is that God never left me through-out all those years, but He was waiting for me to let Him back in, and that night being at my lowest He out of His Mercy literally picked me up out of that bath tub and made me stand ! and once again made me live just like that day in the Air Force base Hospital when the Drs. said I was dead, God said Its wasn't my time.
I was chosen from Birth to share this testimony, as well as the good news of Jesus I am blessed , and The Lord is restoring little by little all the years that the locust have eaten, and although I still struggle from my past decision, and still struggle with control and anxiety problems rooted from my childhood. I know one day I will be made perfect through the undeserved mercy of Jesus. I hang on to His promises in the living word .to share a few No weapons formed against me shall prosper. greater is He that is in me then he that is of this world. If God is for me who can be against me. when the enemy comes in like a flood the spirit of the Lord will hold a standard up against him, He will restore all the years the Locusts have eaten, I do not need to fear for he is with me and his rod and staff they comfort me,His plan for my life is for me to prosper, and to turn all the bad the enemy had bestowed in my life and weave it into His perfect plan. and as I wait I am excited to see yet what He has has for me...... My God is a God of restoration and He will restore ALL the years the Locusts have eaten!