I have once dreamt to be a great scientist because I fully trust my abilities and capabilities. That's why I was blessed to enter the portal of my university right now. However, as time passes by, I'm starting encountering very gigantic different challenges. Some are said to be unbearable. Some are not. And amidst the first semester of my second year in that university, I'm about to encounter the greatest trouble which I have never encountered ever since I began my academics life. I'm about to get a grade of affliction which I can hardly accept. Besides, when this happens, absolutely will I lose my scholarships which I've got since the day of proclaiming the honorable students for graduation in which I was proclaimed salutatorian. When this happens, I do not know what I ought to do. I do not know where God want me to go. Honestly speaking, I feel very sad. My family expects me to succeed in my own career. Aside from that they fully need me. I just want to apologize to them because I could not give them what they want. I'm just a weak person. God created me in this way. I accept it. But I hope that after these all, God will sustain my living. Everything that surrounds me right now. God is still the one I can lean on.