When I look back on my week I realised that this was not the easiest of weeks. My dog died, I had dramas with students and teachers, I am still so many thousands of km away from the place I consider home, the guy I am interested in may actually be in a relationship, my headphones stopped working for my ipod and that is just the beginning. Somedays I wonder what keeps me going, what keeps driving me, what keeps me from permanently going back to my home in the middle of nowhere, doing the 9 to 5 and having the house, car, dog, and peace of my dreams. But I know that the Lord did not call me to that life. Not that I have not tried to make it fit. I have tried on numerous occasions to move back to Oz and stay in one place more than 2 years.
What people seem to think is easy for me is actually a lot harder than they think it is. I am not a traveller but by the grace of God. It is only through Him and His constant talking in my ear that keeps me going. So when I read this verse tonight I knew that once again the Lord was talking to me. What troubles I have experienced in my life I have used to help others much to my own and other peoples amazement. How do I know so much? I have lived through so much. I have lived through life, death, sickness, absence, heart ache, singleness, wanting... every feeling and every experience has brought me closer to the Lord. He has comforted me this week as well as the other 37 weeks I have lived here in Dili (as well as the 1 week in Singapore, 1 week in Perth and 5 weeks in the USA).
I have not experienced all of this so that I can say that I have done all of this. I have enjoyed my travels immensely but they have come at a price. The price I have paid I am willing to share with those around me. I am blessed with these experiences so that I can help others. So the next time I try to complain (and trust me there are plenty) I am going to take a breath and allow the moment to pass knowing that in pain right now the Lord is using it for His own good in my life and in the life of others.