She stood there, dazed and quite honestly in total surprise to find us there, though I, too, was startled to see them sitting in the back when we came. Like the old days. There she stood, talking of them again as if no time had elapsed whatsoever. Years, though, have passed for us, this friend who used to be so close to my heart that she was like a sister. My once Best Friend. I cannot even remember anymore what it was that began to divide us, but divided we have been. Merely brushing past each other now and then while shopping, or an even less occasional email.
With admitted amazement, I listened as she told another about the numerous notebooks filled with the things she had once gathered from my teachings. I had forgotten completely that I had once led Bible Studies for women, but she had not. Not at all. “His gifts and His call are irrevocable” she admonished at the expression on my face, and held me until the tears came. She’s right. I could sense it. How far had I wandered from His paths for me.
Romans 11:29 God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded. ~ the Message Bible
He continues to heal, despite the damage I’ve caused myself. He gave me a picture as we worshipped, that of a spider web torn and tattered, billowing in the silver winds. His skillful hands knotting the ends together again, slowly and methodically and persistently. There is still a long ways to go. I’m in awe of how much yet.
There is the continual acquiescence, the letting go, the acceptance. I rail sometimes that it seems like I am losing the best part of me, but it rings hollow in my own ears. I tried it my way again, and failed. It really wasn’t my best, but only the best I could be without Him. Not good enough.
In the accepting, there has come an unfamiliar lack of chaos inside, a tranquility that, though shaken dearly still at times, re-settles again with less effort. I know I am overlooking things, some even important. But this is more important for now, this calm. If fortified me for a task that I have never been able to handle with grace before, a little proving that it is strong and will hold.
It’s become an adventure again. “I spy”. Sometimes in the most unexpected places, he leaves a little message for me. Yesterday he coordinated them with astonishing harmony. I’m quite sure the variety of sources hadn’t conspired together purposely. Give up. Give in. Give it away. Live with minimalistic simplicity. I know it sounds like a worn out cliché, but He really cannot fill hands that are full already.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us, looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Amplified)
With admitted amazement, I listened as she told another about the numerous notebooks filled with the things she had once gathered from my teachings. I had forgotten completely that I had once led Bible Studies for women, but she had not. Not at all. “His gifts and His call are irrevocable” she admonished at the expression on my face, and held me until the tears came. She’s right. I could sense it. How far had I wandered from His paths for me.
Romans 11:29 God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded. ~ the Message Bible
He continues to heal, despite the damage I’ve caused myself. He gave me a picture as we worshipped, that of a spider web torn and tattered, billowing in the silver winds. His skillful hands knotting the ends together again, slowly and methodically and persistently. There is still a long ways to go. I’m in awe of how much yet.
There is the continual acquiescence, the letting go, the acceptance. I rail sometimes that it seems like I am losing the best part of me, but it rings hollow in my own ears. I tried it my way again, and failed. It really wasn’t my best, but only the best I could be without Him. Not good enough.
In the accepting, there has come an unfamiliar lack of chaos inside, a tranquility that, though shaken dearly still at times, re-settles again with less effort. I know I am overlooking things, some even important. But this is more important for now, this calm. If fortified me for a task that I have never been able to handle with grace before, a little proving that it is strong and will hold.
It’s become an adventure again. “I spy”. Sometimes in the most unexpected places, he leaves a little message for me. Yesterday he coordinated them with astonishing harmony. I’m quite sure the variety of sources hadn’t conspired together purposely. Give up. Give in. Give it away. Live with minimalistic simplicity. I know it sounds like a worn out cliché, but He really cannot fill hands that are full already.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us, looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Amplified)