Whilst I was glad to be out of hospital the world felt like a scary place. It was good to be in familiar surroundings at home and feel a semblance of normality but in my head my future was still uncertain. Did I still have a career, what would people think when I went back? The hospital appointed someone to meet with every few months to discuss my progress and issues and linked me in with Mind which is a charity specialising in mental health and I took a class on resilience. I also signed up to to various courses on confidence and cognitive behavioural therapy. I also taught myself to draw, something I had done in hospital out of sheer boredom and discovered I could draw pretty well, I still use it to express how I feel sometimes and sometimes just for pleasure. When I draw I don't worry because I have to focus on what I am doing so it's therapeutic too. Eventually I saw a psychiatrist for work who recommended some more time off and a phased return to work. Other than having to get see my doctor for sick notes and my prescription I was pretty much left to my own devices. My wife insisted for the first few weeks I text her hourly so she wouldn't worry. I always went for a walk at least once a day even if it rained and got to know my local woods pretty well in those months. But as I recovered my future was always on my mind.