from old blog Septemeber 22, 2007
Dear Jesus,
I love you. I'm struggling Lord. I need you. It's so hard some days to find value in myself. It's been sooooooo long since I've had a mother to love me. It's so hard to always be the strong one. I feel so alone with my feelings. Help me, dear Jesus to remember who I am in you. Help me to remember how lonely you must have been. Remember when you came to me in the dream and gave me the key. And I was afraid of you and ran and hid. You knew right where to find me. Help me remember I'm never really lost. You always know where I am. Then you found me and I wanted you to stay and talk with me but you had to go. I miss you, Jesus. I don't mean like I don't know you're here and can feel you. It's more like, well you know what I mean. I know God told me he added years to my life. So why do I feel like I don't have long. I feel like I've just begun to understand. How may I serve, Jesus. If I don't have long I want to make sure it counts. I believe God. He doesn't lie. It's just my lack of faith. It feels like such a sin. Please help me with that, Jesus. I love you more than I know how to put in words.
I am nothing if not for you
Dear Jesus,
I love you. I'm struggling Lord. I need you. It's so hard some days to find value in myself. It's been sooooooo long since I've had a mother to love me. It's so hard to always be the strong one. I feel so alone with my feelings. Help me, dear Jesus to remember who I am in you. Help me to remember how lonely you must have been. Remember when you came to me in the dream and gave me the key. And I was afraid of you and ran and hid. You knew right where to find me. Help me remember I'm never really lost. You always know where I am. Then you found me and I wanted you to stay and talk with me but you had to go. I miss you, Jesus. I don't mean like I don't know you're here and can feel you. It's more like, well you know what I mean. I know God told me he added years to my life. So why do I feel like I don't have long. I feel like I've just begun to understand. How may I serve, Jesus. If I don't have long I want to make sure it counts. I believe God. He doesn't lie. It's just my lack of faith. It feels like such a sin. Please help me with that, Jesus. I love you more than I know how to put in words.
I am nothing if not for you